We've been trying to reach you....

I got a phone call the other day. It was cut short. I couldn't breathe as the phone rang again. I was locked, stuck, transfixed. I was stunned that I would receive these calls when I don't even own a car, I don't drive. I was perplexed, then I received a missive, a message. It all clicked.

#brendaniel #extendedwarranty #carsextendedwarranty

[kiklonio]

I don't own a car but this sure is a tempting offer...

[MacAlmighty]

It’s 6am, I spent all night programming, woke up after 2 hours of sleep in a cold sweat. Thanks, smooth jazz to extended car warranty from hell is just what I needed.

[eddienash]

Imagine a scammer seeing this and reflecting on it

[AnkushB]

Hmm interesting offer, I shall purchase this warranty.

[ComicalRealm]

"Most people think 'selling' is the same as 'talking.' But the most effective sales people know that listening is the most important part of their job" - Fred Flintstone

[brennanperry]

Dude this is actually poetry. I'm not even joking, like it has the flow, metaphoric language, everything.

[thepersonwhocomentz]

Gonna set up a callbot and just play this video over the phone to random people.

[john_toss]

It’s nearly 4:00 am brendaniel, I already know my cars extended warranty is about to expire

[cryobot]

I love how he sounds uncannily like Agent Smith in these monologues

[bunnyonabunwithagunnicepun]

I've been trying to tell you, I BOUGHT you a CAR out of the KINDNESS of my HEART, and I'm OFFERING you an EXTENDED WARRANTY service for CHEAP, but no. I guess this is what I get for trying to change my ways and help others instead of hinder them.
In fact, I'm keeping the car, and I'm going to drive really fast outside your apartment window at 6 A.M. every morning, just to remind you of your actions here today.
And yes, I'm installing megaphones into the exhaust so that I can make it louder only when I drive really fast outside YOUR apartment window at 6 A.M.
You have made me a monster, and you have nobody to blame except for yourself.

[sacxoople]

I had this guy on a surf arena in tf2 trying to chase me down with his shotgun asking me politely whilst gunning me down: "Hello sir, I'm here to see you about your car's extended warranty"

[Daisy-uwoz]

Wowza, that was a very interesting video! I’m going to go extend my warranty (suggestive) now

[mejorge]

i like that “car sex tended warranty” hashtag

[cherrytree]

(insert moderately stupid spamton themed joke here)

[celestialowl]

Getting a Takis ad feels fitting..somehow.

[badatmania]

It's comforting to know that it's been eight years and you still can't look at that emoticon without saying "stupid fucking hamster face"

[masterjoeg]

3 Am and my man is dropping a hot one, another reason to worsen my sleep schedule

[clementine_awesomeness]

we need an hour version of this video I need an hour long version of this to listen to while i sit in my bed and ignore everything

[Panthera_Leo_]

I always just answer the phone and immediately mash 1, for it is always 1, to get to the human. And then I just remain silent. One time some goober sat there for five minutes screaming 'ARE YOU THERE? HELLO?'

[bobatea]

Hearing “stupid fucking hamster face” has brought back so much more than it should have