Signs of a cool girl

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starring -
Melissa Macedo
Michelle Macedo

shot by Eric Lombart

grip - Melissa Gasca, John Lee

sound - John Lee

edited by Timothy Hautekiet

gfx by Alishia Yoon

Producer Ani Baker

[SamanthaDiane]

"If anyone thinks you're too much, then they can go find less."
👏👏👏👏

[SamElle]

ngl, I used to STRIVE to be this "cool girl" cos I thought more people would be friends with me and I wanted to fit in. Turns out, many years later, just being myself was enough after all!!

[spiritglass]

"Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur." - Margaret Atwood

[DarthHao]

“Morph into what society wants you to be” was literally what my parents told me to do in order to survive in the world. Interesting how these concepts play out beyond relationships.

[quantumwombat]

I love how this doesn't hate on pick-me girls (because that is still just putting down other women) but actually teaches us all how to recognize red flags within ourselves

[themaggattack]

When influencers are actually GOOD influences!
There goes Anna again, *helping me raise my child right!* I showed this to my daughter. She laughed and she got the message. I'm sure I speak for many parents when I say thank you, Anna, for being a great influence. You may not be the cool girl trope, but you are the cool internet aunt, which is an enormous upgrade.

[sindhusekar]

What we need to be is a compassionate, decent, person, who is also assertive about our own boundaries. At the the end of the day, that’s all we need to be.

[shboomgirl]

As Gone Girl showed, too, once your over thirty, it doesn't matter how much you molded yourself into the woman he wanted you to be - you're gonna get replaced anyway.

[isabelleb-l]

I was a cool girl for my first relationship. Pretending I didn't like romantic things because they were cheesy, pretending it didn't bother me we hung out with his guy friends all the time and never my friends, pretending it didn't bother me when he checked out other girls in front of me. It's only when I spent the summer away and actually realized how much of a person I was without him that I realized what I had been doing which is of course when he fell out of love and dumped me.

[YingYangLee]

“Don’t be the cool girl who doesn’t mind, hot girls set boundaries”

[vtr]

Anna: "I used to be a cool girl, until I took a therapy to the brain"

[DNCRable]

This is also called people-pleasing, fawning, codependency, placating, and probably a whole host of other terms I'm not aware of, and is a big indicator of childhood trauma & doesn't just apply to how you behave around partners (although I get that this video's spotlighting that for a reason). I do this for people I depend on for survival - bosses, landlords, partners, friends who are letting me crash on their couch - and it's a whole other ball game when it's for survival because to not be a chameleon and state your needs feels like you're literally going to die or be homeless, and that might actually be truth in some cases.

[thePribs]

I grew up watching so many "cool " girls around me, and always felt inferior. Always questioned why i wasn't like them. Tried to be like them and failed so many times. I am so happy that these kinds of false personas are being busted by pop psychology and mainly you, Anna. <3

[Victoria-dhvb]

"If anyone ever thinks you're too much? They can go and find less"
💯💯💯 preach

[TonyaS]

The kitty is like, "mom, mom, MOM! Pay attention to :) I think we've all morphed to some degree at some point in relationships. Good reminder!

[debdeb]

"love is a very tall order, but self-love, oof. You know, sometimes it feels way easier to just gut yourself and renovate your insides according to someone else's blueprint rather than slowly but surely building a foundation." WHEW this was a word

[Unicorn-pkht]

Honestly you‘re only a cool girl to me if you can set boundaries and tell People when they are frustrating you.
THAT‘S cool!

[charlesdawkins]

I let the cool girl die half a year ago. I wanted to be myself. Standing up for myself instead of "bending to be loved" is such a level up

[thekatigaming]

I was the "cool girl" with one of my exes and he ended up cheating on me with 2 other women, so yeah, stay true to yourself 🖤🖤🖤

[thepopculturedilettante]

The only cool girl trap I fell into was suppressing my negative reactions to being treated poorly. I would only raise an issue if it was a dealbreaker and I was willing to lose the friendship or relationship over it. I guess I never trusted that anyone cared about me enough to fight about something and still stay in my life. No idea where that fear of abandonment came from.

I am trying to work on this. And it’s absolutely terrifying. If I express boundaries and negative reactions to people’s treatment of me, it makes me feel sick to my stomach and ruins my entire day/days.