the water brand made by Satan himself

oh hello there.

[floopismcfloorpus]

I think the best way that someone described Dasani water was: *”It tastes like it’s been in a squirt gun all day.”*

[squid_the_squid]

I used to work at a movie theater and there were people who'd pay more to get tap water in a soda cup over buying a bottle of Dasani and I don't blame them

[Sticknub]

A canister of salt probably somehow has less sodium than a single bottle of Dasani

[voxfoxclips]

I knew there was a reason why I never wanted to drink this water. After drinking it ONCE when I was younger, it’s as if my unconscious mind and body knows the present threat in this stuff and no matter where I see this stuff, which is every damn place known to man (my work, the movies, convenience stores, even hospitals and schools), I refuse to buy Dasani whenever humanly able. I feel like SmartWater and even the store brand waters are bodily safer than whatever Dasani is and would even buy a bottle of tap water before I bought a bottle of ‘purified’ water from Dasani. The worst thing to note is that all those ingredients of salts and such are in that water to ‘enhance the flavor’… this is water. WATER ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE FLAVOR. IT. IS. WATER. Only reason water would have a flavor is when it is inherited from whatever minerals were in the stream or factory it came from (barring those electrolytes you find in sports waters), or if you actually put a fruit flavoring or whatever into said water. Dasani is a sin to the basic need of humankind and I would sign the petition to rid the world of Dasani out of the basic right of this world. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. ;)

[winterweasel]

Excuse me, this is Satan's Lawyer. My client would like to inform you that associating him with Dasani is slander, as he is, and I quote: "Not evil enough to create that shit."
Cease and desist immediately, or we will be forced to go through legal channels and take you to court.

[asmagamer]

There were 3 sailors stranded at sea, one of them died of dehydration and too much accumulation of sodium.
One drank sea water, other drank their own urine and then there was the sailor who drank Dasani water.

[keeganlepine]

Another thing about Dasani; it’s never cold. Anytime I’ve opened up a bottle and taken a drink, it tastes like either I’m drinking liquid warmth or the bottle has been locked in a hot car.

[FeeshUnofficial]

Fun fact: Dasani water can't be sold in most European countries because they use more false advertisement than any water company should ever need

[patriciov.catricura]

In Chile this thing arrived and existed during late 2000s by... MONTHS! We already have better bottled water so they just gave up. The water you'll find everywhere here is the "Cachantun" brand, it OBLITERATED Dasani, and the city of Coinco (where Cachantun comes from) of course is so damn proud of that water

[CaptJCB_]

someone at my school somehow broke into my locker and filled it with empty dasani water bottles

even more reason to hate these things

[darkeum]

When people in the underworld get thirsty Satan gives them Dasani. He just decided to transfer it into the mortal plain to toy with humans and give them a taste of the underworld.

[fombowombo]

Wasn’t there a movie where the antagonists actually created a type of water that makes people thirstier so that they would buy it more?

[m_crowley]

someone should literally drink only dasani water and see if it has the same effect overall as drinking sea water and going insane like a stranded pirate

[JetSetDman]

Fun fact: Dasani knows damn well how dehydrating their water is, and that’s exactly why it’s the only type of water sold at amusement parks, because it gets people to come back and buy more because the water isn’t fucking hydrating

[AquaFerva]

Dasani truly is an appalling alternative for convenient transportable water. There are certainly a good few other brands that could do that job WAAY better than Dasani ever could. Aquafina for example is a great brand for this. Not biased at all about this.

[thenamesniva]

Actually seems like something the devil himself would come up with when he got bored. Just go to Earth, talk weird crap in the CEO’s ear about salty water, and bam

[calmcat]

fun fact about bottled water: you're not buying the water, you're buying the bottle

[lizardwithinternet]

Fun fact: The reason Dasani makes you thirstier is so you buy more of it.

[xle]

Imagine having Dasani as your only water source stranded at sea it would probably rehydrate you more if you just drank sea water

[mildlydispleased]

Dasani water was pulled out of the UK because it was just filtered tapwater (which is apparently quite common for US tap water brands) but to the posh Brits only the finest spring water was acceptable so nobody bought it