I'm No Longer a Lesbian.

lol please watch until the end or else you're gonna be confused.

support me on my other platforms for clear skin:

WATCH MORE OF MY MUSIC VIDEOS thank u :’)

If you’re reading this comment, "MORE JESSICA AND MARK CONTENT PLEASE" ya no this hurt my soul so not for a while

[SomeRandomNewsiesFan]

THIS IS THE BEST WAY IVE EVER SEEN SOMEONE CALL OUT HATERS

[notjustanotherharlow]

This and the “I gave my trans best friend my uterus” jokes are my favorite things ever

[Nanbread-bwnq]

someone is going to not realise this is satire 💀

[EmmeluneLuxanniaFayge]

Jessica Eisensmith, the proud heterosexual American who lives in the countryside with her boyfriend, cows and chickens, always being a modest woman

[remyish.]

Jessie: Im not a Lesbian
Us: ….So you’re American?

[THNLYDDINSID]

Oh my gosh, Jessica I’m so proud of you and Mark! Ignore my profile photo, it’s all lies. I have also chosen to abandon the lesbian lifestyle and convert to the right side with the heteros. Mark seems like such a lovely man, always talking over you and being aggressive! Such a good man and I’m wishing you the best in this new step in life!

[larsland]

Omg I cannot wait for this. Jessie and Madison videos are my favorite.

[MaddogLexi]

(Matty enters the frame)

Me: "Wait a minute... that's a woman with a beard drawn on, isn't it"

[auroraharmony]

So proud of you for coming out as straight, Jessica! It's so difficult to be a straight person nowadays. And Marky seems like such a catch too. I would love a video on LGBTQABCDEF creators... so I can AVOID them of course! Lots of love from a fellow straight 🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍

[Maddy_]

I’m so proud that u chose the “right” lifestyle 😭💀

[NotEvenAsh]

I’m so glad you moved on from that DISGUSTING lifestyle (I’m very cis and straight just ignore the pfp)

[ceceshortcakee]

the straight couple stock images 💀💀😭😭

#godschild #onlystraight #conservativecore #chappellnotroan #cookinginthekitchen #countrybeigemom 😇🙏🏽

[CR_RC]

you and Marky look so happy together 🥰 #straightforlife 🙏✝️😇/j

[tamani]

Madisons acting skills really hit a peak in this video.

[alyssapinon]

Even though this is satire it still breaks my heart knowing that some closeted sapphic is unironically living this life right now

[chloemackli]

This is the weirdest and funniest joke. Nominating both Jessie and Madison for best female actress at the next Oscars fr.

[TTGGrave]

The funny thing is that these ‘I won’t call you by your name of choice’ people would totally celebrate calling you Jessica or whatever you wanted if you ‘converted’ or something.

[AlbinoBlueSquirrel]

It took Madison so much effort not to break at 2:10 lmao

[masteroox]

I don't know why but I feel like at least one of the horsemen of the apocalypse is about to come the second the video is live

[HansLemurson]

It's important to not get rid of the gay stuff so that you don't forget what you're NOT supposed to be doing. It's so easy to accidentally revert to lesbianism, but you have to stay strong and disciplined. Kiss beautiful women only on the cheek and don't let hugs exceed 12 seconds. If a hug crosses that "gay threshold" you must IMMEDIATELY break away and apologize profusely to her, and repeat to yourself how straight you are.
It's a tough path, but I believe in you.