Enneagram: Subtypes of Type 2

Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching

Also available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

It's simple, Give if you want to and are able to...no pressure!

Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.

#enneagram, EnneagramTypes, CliftonStrengthsFinder, PersonalityAssessment, self-discovery, Strengths-Based Development, Understanding Personality, Personal Growth, Enneagram Test Results, Unlock Your Potential, Mindfulness, SelfAwareness, SelfImprovement, LifeCoach, UnlockPotential, Motivation, strength, Relationships, love, soulmate, self-love, love yourself, intimacy, emotional connections, dating, communication, healthy relationships, true love, power of love, relationships, marriage, love language, love quotes, love tips, love and happiness, trust, love and relationships, love advice, unconditional love, happy, love, Myers-Briggs,

[feliciacahyadi]

2:13 SP2 The Adorable 2
18:36 SO2 The ambitious 2
29:49 SX2 The Seductive 2

[Andrewligan]

As a guy, it was a very interesting experience to figure out that I am "the girlfriend" 2

[babysquatch]

“There’s two types of people... the ones that love me and the ones that don’t know me well enough yet” LOL facts 😂


thanks Dr. L, you rock and I am so grateful for your content and presence!

[Menaboucher]

Of all the enneagram videos I’ve watched, no one has ever explained the privileged 2. You are a great teacher. Thank you!

[Lil_Marguerit]

The seduction and charm of a sexual two isn't outward to just anyone. Sexual twos are well aware that they COULD charm and manipulate whoever to get what they want (pride) but they don't chose to do that to just anyone because of their underlying fear of failure (shame.)
Rather, sexual twos will unconsciously study the person that they desire over a period of time and then shape shift into everything that person wants and needs in every circumstance.. So that way they cant (and won't) fail to win that person's affection.

Most sexual twos are only focussed on deep relationships. They are great at surface level interactions because they can shape shift to mesh and get along with anyone, but it always ends up feeling shallow, pointless and exhausting to them. If a sexual two is too caught up in surface level interactions they will become depressed, feeling like something is missing. Sexual twos live for deep intimacy and soul connections. Most of their friendships last a lifetime, and if they don't it's beause of the other party, and the sexual two feels abandoned brcause of it.. Like someome took a piece of themselves with them as they left.

If a sexual two is in a committed relationship or married, their entire world revolves around that specific person and they are trying to win that person's approval and undivided attention to continually fill the void of shame, their worth lies in how well they fit the mold of their partners every want and need. 2 halves = whole (Love)

Personally, It wasn't until Jesus filled the void of shame that I ever felt completely whole.

Sexual twos feel like they need someone or something else to feel whole, because they themselves arent ever enough (shame.) They long for their "happily every after" and romanticize about it as if it is Eden.. Like love is the answer for everything.

[aislingfahy]

I think I'm a two, yesterday I found myself liking comments that didn't have likes so no one would feel bad

[kimberlyti]

I cried when you said thank you and sorry we took you for granted. I do really feel I am able to see myself clearer and understand myself a bit more after watching your 2 videos. I find myself showing traits of 8 which I don't want to but moving to 4 is scary, it's hard to be content with just yourself, not feeling needed or loved by people around you.

[cherimccormick]

You hit the nail on the head. We don’t want the spotlight for fear of being knocked down. It’s tough to walk around never feeling good enough so you give to fill that. I’m just explaining our internal dialogue. I love watching you Tom because you are so helpful in helping us understanding each personality and how to understand how to communicate with them

[aimee]

The sexual 2 is more subtle. It’s a blushing cheek and a nibble of the lip. Def they won’t run their hand through your hair because it might cross a line. Think batting eyelashes.

[cheeryblossoms]

I was thinking about how you talked about the preservation 2 offering help but secretly hoping someone else would do it.

I remember at my church, members used to bring snacks every Sunday for after service. Then the church moved and we quit doing that for about 2 years.

Well when I was about 20 I decided everyone was leaving too quickly and not fellowshipping, so I started bringing snack again. My Mom asked a few other ladies and pretty soon we had a rotation in place again.

Well some of the ladies started bringing really fancy homemade stuff, which stressed out my mother since she didn't have time to make fancy food. So I purposely would bring store bought items and I told people it was "to keep the bar from getting too high." but also I didn't want to bring snack anymore and I was hoping the other ladies would take over.

Sure enough, about 2 months down the line, I was 100% out of rotation. I was quite pleased. I improved my church's fellowship time, so I felt I had done my duty, and I was no longer in charge of or participating in the food service. I could just chat and have a nice time. And people still thanked me for restarting the fellowship time. Win win win. :D

[loribabineaux]

Now I understand why I sometimes come out as a 7 on the tests. Thank you for such a thorough explanation.

[TheWorldsStage]

The videos on the Type 2 personalities seem like they have much kinder comments and statements of appreciation then the other types

[timw.]

Finally, here it is. Felt like months :) Thank you so much for your effort, Tom. You´re great, keep it going!

[lilystarr]

I have several sides or parts of self because of severe and repeated trauma. One of my main parts is a 2w1 self preservation subtype. The reason I don't want to be in places of authority is because I was parentified and spousified by both parents. As a young child, I was responsible for their wellbeing and it was too much to handle. Having someone's life in your hands is an overwhelming amount of pressure, and enough pressure to traumatize a child. I avoid being in places of authority so that I don't have to be reminded of that pain.

[sirbradfordofhousejones]

11:53- 100% true. And when you’ve got two 2s, you’ve got a Wild West Showdown. My mother-in-law and I are both 2s and trying to decide who sits last is the funniest for our family. 😆

[AlskaNoelle]

I want a shirt that says "I'm a 9. But all the types are really great" :D

[juliehines-lyman]

I just started exploring enneagrams, and I came out tied as a 2, 8 and 7. It made no sense to me, and my husband insisted I'm a 2. Being a 2w3 ( and my test came out 1.social, 2.sexual, 3.)self preservation. Your description totally sounds like me, and explains why I answered some questions as an 8- I am confident and passionate in my work (as a teacher leader, go figure!). Now I can start my spiritual work on this! Thank you so much for your clear description!

[brennahill]

My older sister is definitely a self preservation 2. She absolutely does look childlike and has the biggest eyes ever!

[enora]

Thank you this is such a great video and series !!! I was just thinking it might be useful to make your videos less gendered. I know a lot of 2s that are men (my ex boyfriend being a sexual 2) and I think describing the 2 as the "girlfriend" for example and generally portraying the 2 as a women, as it is a traditionally feminine type, can unwillingly exclude men and prevent them from recognising themselves within the type... which is a shame !! :)

[rengegrace]

Listening—so much value here! I did just hear your statement about 2s—that everybody loves me and those who don’t just don’t know me—and don’t relate to that at all. I don’t have that sort of positive (deluded!) assumption about my inherent worth or value to others. I do relate to Wanting everybody to like me, and being Loved by everyone would be like delicious birthday cake everywhere I went, but shame and pride are in there too. I have spent quite a long time developing my Facade of attractiveness and generosity and “goodness, ” but have gotten more and more aware that my giving isn’t genuine or deep (enough) if I can be so easily triggered into resentment or judgment when it’s not returned in the way that feels best to me.