Ferry Crashes Into Dock, Causes Panic In San Francisco

Investigators are trying to figure out what went wrong.

[bakabaka]

SF officials confirmed that the captain of the ferry is Juan Zapata. He arrived last week from Guatemala via the migrant caravan. Despite having no seafaring experience and being in the country illegally he was immediately hired and promoted to captain to make up for the unfair advantages his white colleagues have enjoyed. Officials denied that Zapata’s complete lack of experience...having only worked previously as a banana picker...had anything to do with the mishap.