Here's Why 'Using Depression As an Excuse' Is a Myth [The Psychology]

Do some people use depression as an excuse? Here's why the idea of 'using depression as an excuse' is a myth based on the psychology of depression & mental illness. Board certified psychiatrist and APA fellow Dr. Sue Varma answers this question and more in this eye-opening interview.

In this discussion, Dr. Varma and MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson also explain...

- Why or why not some people use depression as an excuse
- Kyle's (who is diagnosed with major depression) experience of the stigma of being depressed
- Whether Dr. Varma has seen patients who are not depressed in her office, and who are simply "not taking responsibility"
- How clinical depression plays a part in someone's resilience, self-esteem, and whether they "take responsibility" for their behavior
- A personal anecdote / example from Dr. Varma of a patient who could be mistaken as someone who is using depression and anxiety as an excuse

[miainelom]

My depression tells me that my depression is an excuse.

[katie]

Anyone who truly has depression would not want to fake it. Trust me on that one.

[leighlong]

Depression is so absolutely horrible that I would never, ever lie about it. When I get depressed, I want to crawl into a hole..

[fergusn]

My depression sometimes drains me so much that it’s hard to stand up, and I’m 26 and in shape.

[getmeouttahere]

I always feel like I'm using my depression as an excuse. I feel like I'm an impostor and I can't do anything productive or focus on things and I feel like such a failure.

[bigbadbillb]

When you're depressed, you have no enthusiasm for anything. Relationships with others, job performance, involvement in your church, any sort of obligations in life, really....take energy. You've got to put effort into these things. When you're depressed, you just simply aren't feeling it anymore. Depression quite literally can suck the life out of you.

[coconut]

Someone who doesn't have depression have no idea how it shuts down your whole system into doing nothing besides hating your whole existence.

[JanaOliveira]

my narc sister accused me of having anxiety and depression as following a trend, and going to therapy to be cool. in my country mental health is such a taboo, why would I want to flex I feel like shit??

[The_Wandering_Nerd]

Whenever I would tell my parents I felt depressed, they would say "No, you're just lazy, you're just using it as an excuse, you just need to stop sinning and you'll feel better." To this day I feel intensely guilty whenever I feel depressed and it's so hard for me to admit it to myself or others.

[IAmDasani]

sometimes i think i'm using depression as an excuse and i'm just a worthless person who doesn't deserve to live

[musabonheur]

Depression is real. Only if u have not experienced it, you will criticize it

[somber]

Trust me, when someones depressed, it isnt always obvious, they could be smiling and laughing most of the time. At the same time it can be always very obvious yet people ignore the signs, someone could have no motivation, has a diff sleeping pattern, sudden change in weight or overall personality and people will just assume theyre lazy

[TLOH]

This is a very dangerous thing to say. As someone who has deal with depression and anxiety since I was 13 years young, this could make people to not take other people's depressed condition seriously. One should never take this for granted.

[steveconn]

My depression is valid. I feel horrible about how I've treated people who I once was very much in love with and still care about.

[jenniferhunt]

my family members would tell me that I was trying to get attention, my ex husband would tell my I was lazy, my best friend told me that what I was thinking wasn't what was really happening. Hearing these statements from loved ones are shocking and very harmful. I have always felt abandoned since I was a little girl and I still fill that way even at 63 years old. Depression is very hard to break out of. I think the negative thoughts are so toxic that the mind and body stays stuck. So for 1/1/2023 I wish for myself and everyone to put your feet on the ground in the morning and tell yourself that we are beautiful people and have a wonderful day every day from now on. If no one tells you that they love you, then I love you.

[youppyMTL]

I am depressed for a while and a psychiatrist told me I wasn't depressed, I have to be more active and I am lazy...I screw my life, my studies, my relationship for fun? It didn't helped me. My ex was telling me I was a burden and he can't love me if I don't improve. I did wanted to die. To stop the pain. I survived but will never let someone tell me that again. I choose me.

[chiramishuwu]

I struggled to keep a job because of my depression (and a suspected BPD, still working with my therapist about this issue). I feel really, really bad when I can't work and be a good, productive employee just like normal people. I don't want my employer to excuse my poor attendance, but at the same time I want them to understand that it's not because I'm lazy and I can't do the job properly (I work as an accountant). I'm actually quite confident in my skills, but it's my emotions that always overwhelm me. I understand that I can't make other people accept my condition, but at the same time I'm getting more and more helpless of finding a job I can actually keep for a long period.

[angelcamille]

Let me tell you, having depression is not soemthing you want to have or fake. It’s soul draining and I really don’t wish it on anyone

[catbee]

After years of not talking to a professional about being depressed, our adult daughter finally agreed to see a psychiatrist. She told the clinician twice that she was depressed and each time the doctor responded with, "You don't seem depressed."

How can this still happen in 2020?? I'm am upset beyond compare for my daughter, who took years to finally agree to see someone about her anxiety and depression.
My daughter is now questioning whether or not she really was experiencing depression (I can say, without a doubt, she has been).

Clinicians like this should be removed from practice.

[peterbaillif]

Depression makes you feel like if you tell someone you’re depressed, they’re not gonna believe you and they’ll even call you a liar or an attention seeker.