Send This To Your Player If They Seduce A Dragon In D&D

Welcome to "So You Pissed Off The Dungeon Master", where I give you responses you can send to your players for stupid things they've done in your D&D and other TTRPG games.

Do you need any responses for things your players have done? Let me craft together the perfect message for the thing they've done!

Join the discord!

#dnd

[jasonstormsong]

They get: a dragon sugar daddy
I get: to insert my terrible corny lines through a shapeshifting dragon npc

[The]

Bard seduces a dragon. Player retires character. That's actually a win. Creating new characters whilst the old ones become NPC's.

[GaldirEonai]

...Something tells me this guy is unaware of just how many people out there would consider this an absolute win.

[sternstones]

Laying on a bed of coins, tending to the half-dragon hatchlings I've sired and occasionally getting letters from the party sounds way WAY more pleasing than any retirement I'll get in real life.

[Nyrufa]

*gasp* - The dragon considers us part of their treasure!? That's the most romantic thing a dungeon boss could do for your players!

[wrongthinker]

I fully expected the line "The difference between the gold and you" to end with "is that you're fucked".

[GundamKType]

Roll reversal I get kidnapped, and the dragon goes on an adventure to save me.

[generalhux]

I actually love the idea of defeating a dragon only for the bards that seduced it over the years to all come screaming out of the cave "YOU KILLED MY LOVER!" and then phase 2 of the fight begins.

[David_Apollonius]

That explains the princess getting "kidnapped" by a dragon trope.

[sociallyresponsiblexenomor]

"My life married to a dragon" sounds like a fun ass roleplay I'm in. You sold me in the first half.

[DemonicDeals]

Every time I play The Bard class, I would put in, "has an extreme fetish for dragons", to see if the DM was reading the sheets, only one dm caught on 🤣

[joshuaseagondollar]

Funny thing is I actually had an idea for a character like this.
He was a flirty bard, but never took it beyond that. When the party asks why he's not doing the usual "horny bard" schtick, he tells them he is happily married, and he doesn't want to piss off his wife who is a literal dragon.
The party laughs it off, assuming it's a joke. Then later his wife shows up and they realize "Oh fuck, he was serious".

[alect]

This man is selling the dragon seduction route WAY more than he intended lmfao

[Brawneteer]

The bard motto: "I fucked my way in to this mess, I'll fuck my way out!"

[TheNullNumber]

I will forever be spoiled by one of my First DMs ages ago. Told him straight up at session 0 that banging a dragon was on my power hungry wizards bucket list as he had heard it may or may not increase your magical abilities. Cut to 2 campaigns later, my Wizard had successfully wed himself to a silver whom outright refused to be further than 100 meters at all times and would go on a rampage killing anything in her way to return to his side. This made shopping and social sessions rather interesting but it all paid off in the end. We were woefully under equipped to deal with the big boss of the story. So I got the bright idea to teleport myself into a prison cell and left a fake ransom note next to my rucksack on where to find me. It wasn't 1 in-game hour my character woke to absolute chaos as she leveled the entire compound that would have taken us many sessions, ate the boss in one turn, grabbed my unconscious wizard from the rubble, and carried him off angrily into the sunrise never to be heard from again.

[biogamer]

theyll find my skeleton with a crushed pelvis and my thumb held high

[PhoenixBird]

The bad news: You're married to a dragon now.
The good news: You're married to a dragon now.

Think of the possibilities! You will be loved and protected by one of the most powerful and dangerous creatures to ever exist. You could learn the secrets of dragon lore and magic, perhaps even learn to shapeshift and become a dragon yourself. You will never be poor again. You don't have to worry about that stupid dysfunctional adventuring party of murder-hobos anymore - they can solve their own problems because you're too busy living your best life while being MARRIED TO A FREAKING DRAGON.

But yeah, better get ready to roll a new character.

[TwilitFall]

All the draconic bloodline sorcerers come in all "Yeah my parents are wacky, yo. ANYWAYS..."

[bananacat]

Seduced a dragon once

DM took this opportunity to turn him into an actually cool and maybe funny gag character through: “Dragon transforming into their human form to join the party and doesn’t understand social awareness” and actually took the time to develop their character

By the end of the campaign, the dragons first achievement in society is being able to buy meat on his own without accidentally threatening the butcher

[oneghost]

It's all fun and games until the party abandons you to your fate and a booming draconic voice behind you tells you to hang up that computer call