Why Love Isn't Selfless, Love is Selfish - Teal Swan

Why Love Isn't Selfless, Love is Selfish. In this video I'll explain why love is selfish and not why love isn't selfless.

To generalize, wherever you go in the world, in human society selflessness is a huge value. At face value, this seems like a good thing. After all, if everyone was just running around in a self-centered way doing whatever they wanted, regardless of who it negatively impacted, social wellbeing and especially social order would be hard to maintain.

Video References:

Suffer so I can Feel Loved Relationship Dynamic: 6:27

Incompatibility: a harsh reality in relationships: 9:42

Self Sacrifice the most self centered thing in the world: 10:47

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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?

Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.

Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.

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[darthfiende]

Yup. After growing up with codependents, I don't mess with people who claim to be acting in my interest at the expense of their own. That just tells me their repressed self interest is going to bubble up in resentment and manipulation.

[Nokss]

Most parent's raised us like this, codependency and narcissism. Then add a dash of religion and culture

[nicoleonfeels]

I mean showing love for someone or something can bring a sense of satisfaction for yourself so I can see that.

[GreeceKelly]

There was this guy that was saying if your partner has a foot fetish and you love having your feet rubbed let them do it. And I remember thinking "then he's not doing it for me" the idea of him getting pleasure out of it too made me think that it's almost not fair. Ugh thanks for opening our eyes once again Teal

[kennethshaw]

You are on point again! Thank you for all your wisdom Teal Swan!!

[kevinzaka]

The word selfishness has been condemned so much that it is every possibility for it to be misunderstood. But the word is just beautiful in and of itself. To be selfish, simply means, to love yourself!

[ManusMeridiem]

Literally spoke to my fiance about this last night. I was saying how it's ironic that what our society views as love is actually quite selfish.

[anaisaerksen]

Not even one minute in and you already got me. That's what I always think, but never dare saying it out loud.

[TheDhammaHub]

There is unconditioned love in the world, but it is rare... most people would be best off if they learned to love themselves first =)

[theksper]

I was completely unaware of this shadow, this video caught me off guard, I’ll have some fun working through this.
Also, I love how happy and expressive Teal looked on this video! I giggled the whole time watching it!

[RatnaDewiWithin]

Because I followed my dreams and my soul purpose, I took very little care of my father when he was sick and many times I left my daughter with her father because I was pursuing my dreams... I was called by many a very selfish mother. Literally having this feeling that everyone is against you, was quite a big test and made me doubt my choices many times. However somehow deep down inside I knew there was no other way for me. How could I not be in integrity with my soul?
And I know that the most powerful gift I can give my daughter is to be an example of someone that follows her heart. Even though of course my daughter didn't like that I was away often but she also told me even recently, she's now 12 years, that she wants me only to do things that make me happy because then that would make her happy too. And if one of these dreams can include my daughter because it is also in her best interest then we will happily share these moments...

[abundantras]

You should be selfish, I wasn’t. You just end up draining yourself and building resentment low key

[lexilu]

This video changed my life completely. Thank you Teal. Nobody else dissolves the suffering I experienced caused by this one false belief like you do with your easy-to-understand but thorough explanations.☺️

[frankiefranfraser]

Reminds me when Phoebe from friends donated a huge sum of money to a TV show to Joey to show him you can be selfless; then her donation was the highest all evening and got Joey on T.V, then she squealed in delight and almost let slip how happy it made her then tried to stop because she saw it wasn't selfless 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[stephanazor]

I've come to learn this after listening to her explanation of male containment, I experimented by expressing selfish desire for containment of a woman I know who responded quite favorably to it. Just became a realization that there's room to be human in this world and helped me to integrate the fragments of myself in that area. I say this to say many people suffer from deep trauma that not only fragments themself but in turn fragments the society they live in, causing a domino effect of trauma. If we learn to re-integrate the parts of ourselves that we've fragmented from, we can become whole beings again and maybe life can commence in a more peaceful and content way than it has in our relatively recent past.

[RC-ylbf]

"The love I give you is second hand, I felt it first."

[CJ_Fx]

In regards to selflessness and how it's taught these days I always asked: If others are the only ones I should be looking out for, then what am I doing here? Let that be a question to ponder on for those who think they should prioritise the needs of others over their own. The fact is, you spend more time with yourself than with anyone else in this world. I'm not saying being selfless is bad or anything, I'm saying one should never forget to also look out for themselves.

[warriorsamongstmen]

If love is not in our hearts then we may as well be dead. Love can be felt at any moment. Close your eyes connect with your feelings and tune your self back to love. It's where we come from and will return to.

Peace and love Sam

[marie-louise]

The magnitude of her magnificence in makes this.information. comprehensible 3ven to a child willing to Trans.forme to wholeness in 3D!
Thank you Teal for sharing
So much X.pan.at.ion!

[TheABCD]

i feel like its a great compliment for someone to feel good for loving me