Can you be a mum if you didn't give birth? 👀 #shorts

#lgbtq #lesbianparenting #parenting

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[Jenny_]

Like literally, I’ve seen a lesbian couple been asked “how does it feel to raise a child you didn’t give birth to” and they responded with “try to ask men”. Also the question was obviously asked in a derogatory way.

[nekkidnora]

My favourite was when a co-worker (a 30 y-o man) heard that I had a wife and also kids and literally stared at me, slack-jawed and uncomprehending, and then shouted "HOW???", only to follow it up with "Like, where did you get them??" which... I sold my wisdom teeth to a witch for them, Michael, what the fuck kind of question is that?

[swearimnotarobot]

The problem is, the dummies who say you can only be a mum if you gave birth are the same people who don’t think childcare is the father’s responsibility.

[kai_maceration]

What do they think lesbian couples are supposed to *both* give birth to the same child???

[JuMixBoox]

Just adding a comment to say: If you are a dad who gave birth, that's awesome, too!

[annab]

I think sometimes society forgets that dads are parents too.

[silversleeper]

Parents who used a surrogate or who lost their child during pregnancy and therefore didn’t “give birth” should be on the list!

[sarabelden]

I became a mom when I gained a son through marriage then I had a c-section. I've heard "that doesn't really count." in response to both ways of beginning a mum.

In my opinion it doesn't matter how you become a parent, what matters is how you parent.

[sheilarough]

My sister adopted 4 of her 5 children out of foster care. The fifth and youngest adopted child is the biological child of her middle daughter.

[kutanra]

Wolves who raise lost infants in the woods and probably do a better job than some bio parents lol
Also I'd count teachers/carers at boarding school (anyone seen Goodbye Mr Chips, 2002?)

[chrissytaylor]

Yeah nobody ever believes me when I tell them I've got three kids! Lol! I used to try to live a "normal" life as a straight man for many years until I just couldn't take it anymore. 😒
Oddly enough though, I used to not be a very emotional or caring parent either when I was still living as "Chris".🤷‍♀️ I didn't love myself, therefore it was hard for me to love anyone else. Don't get me wrong I was a good parent and I still am a good parent. I was there for my kids and worked hard as a mechanic for 16 years to keep a roof over them and my wife's But internally I was a disaster. 🤦‍♀️ But strangely enough, once I finally started living as my true self and got on hormone therapy all of a sudden my emotions grew strong and my heart grew big and I ended up being a way better parent than I was before! Way more involved with my children and their feelings and their overall well-being! Transitioning made me a BETTER PARENT! I finally understood what it meant to love my children with all my heart! Even though we struggled on during my transition for 7 years it may have destroyed my But it made my relationship with my kids exponentially better! And I wouldn't trade that for anything!! Especially livering as that miserable self-hating person named "Chris".🤷‍♀️

[Jellyfishfan]

Meanwhile fandoms will call a teenage boy a mom because he takes care of and protects some younger kids. It's about the love, the care, the vibes.

[MRuby-qbbd]

Technically, some dads have given birth but definitely not most of them.

[rosewater]

The volume change for Dads was just amazing 😊

[FilippaSkog]

I consider my father’s wife to be my mother, not my birth mom. My bonus mom’s the one who took the parental responsibilities and made my childhood somewhat normal. Although I’ll never call her mom (she goes by her first name) she’s still who I call when I need one.

[dxrk_rxign]

My mom didn’t ‘give birth’ to me, she had an emergency C-section. I’d punch anyone who said she wasn’t a real mom.

[jolawrence]

Some people are just so rude! You are a wonderful parent as is your wife ❤

[bethp]

I’m loving this outfit, the matching hat is perfect ❤️

[AndrewDRed]

"Can you be a mum if you didn't give birth?"

Depends how you define it. Since my little girl was born, I was the one who fed her, bathed her, changed her, put her to bed, sang her to sleep, slept on the floor next to her crib when she was ill...

Basically, I've always been a mum to her, and I didn't give birth. Mum is a state of mind, not a factor of gender identity or sex. At least, in my opinion.

[voiddwelling]

My Aunt had a son in an attempt to prove she was straight because she didn't know if my mom and nana would be accepting (they were) and it frustrates me so much knowing people think Lesbians can't be mothers (and vice versa for gay men) my Aunt was barely in her 20s and could barely afford to live on her own. Much less an entire child. She was lucky my mom gave birth 4 days after she did and my mom was able to double them up and take care of all 3 of us. It took 7 years for her to build up the confidence to live near her own son because she felt so bad about what happened. Hearing people imply Lesbians can't have children just upsets me. It feels invalidating to my Aunt who scared herself into having a child she not only couldn't afford, but to this day, doesn't know how to bond with him. It feels like it also taunts my cousin who was raised with a bunch of women. And has more "feminine" habits because of it. Even worse we live in the bible belt which meant his enjoyment for things like the more peaceful side of nature rather than hunting and killing were shamed by his classmates. And despite everything, his mother would kill for that kid.