In Remembrance | A Video Letter

In Remembrance | A Video Letter
Since Momom's passing, something hasn't felt right in me. She had a big impact on my life and even though today marks her being gone for 3 years, I still think about her all the time. So, I decided to dedicate a Video Letter to her; attempting to get all my feelings out in the open so I can give her a proper send off...

I also want to thank Joe Picariello for helping me make this. He did a great job and got what I was trying to do when I told him. If you need him for anything video and photo related, just go on his website and send a message.

TRANSCRIPT
3 years ago, today, you left us.
It was on a sunny day, like this, where I found out you were gone forever.
On that day, that Sunday afternoon, I remember being across the street when I was told you weren’t waking up. I didn’t know what to do when I heard the news .
All I felt was pure fear. I ran across the street to you because I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it.
I couldn’t hold back the tears knowing all those special memories I have of you. That I will continue to remember and cherish.
Today, I want to remember the good times I had with you.
I can still hear your laughs when I think about the times we would sit in your house and just talk and talk and laugh and just swap stories.
I’m so glad to still remember what your laugh sounds like.
I remember you’d always greet us with a smile; the smile that will stick with me forever.
I remember the times where we would sit in silence and watch our favorite TV shows.
I remember the corny comics we’d read together.
I remember reading some sad articles, too.
I remember the lessons you taught me. Lessons that were learned the easy way and the hard way. I learned most of your lessons the hard way. 13a: I remember how stubborn I was. You’d tell me something, I wouldn’t listen, I’d find out you were right, and apologize to you.
I remember you being my biggest cheerleader; no matter what I did - you were there for me. Sometimes, it’s hard looking on those sidelines and not seeing you there.
I remember you had so much faith in me. Especially when I had such little in myself.
I remember running to you when I felt there was no one else I could turn to.
I remember our many lunch dates.
I remember that red chair you’d sit in every night. Every night you’d sit there and just wait for me to come from work to tell me two things: You’d tell me “I love you and goodnight.” I remember how much you loved butterflies. And ever since you left us, I see one pretty regularly. It reminds me that you’re still here watching over me
I remember the very last time I saw you. I put a rose down on your final resting place while every great memory we shared flashed before my eyes.
Today, I want to remember the good times I had with you. But I can’t shake how things ended with us.
I regret those unknowing last days that I did not spend with you.
I regret being so mad at you.
I regret what happened the very last day I saw you. I was so mad at you, I didn’t say “Goodnight,” I didn’t say “ I love you.” I stormed right to my room.
Even though I was mad, I remember what you said to me: “I’m sorry, I love you...good night.” No one thought that would be the last time we saw you.
I regret not hugging you that night.
I regret not saying “I love you” that night.
I regret having that fight with you.
I regret being so convinced you were going to live forever and ever. You knew you were leaving us, you hinted at it so much to me - like when you’d say “Ashes to Ashes. Dust to Dust.” But I still was in denial. If I listened to your hints, maybe I would’ve been more prepared when you passed.
But now you’re gone forever. I know I will see you one day: we all will. I just don’t know what the future holds without you so I’ll just have to wait and see.
Some things really haven’t been the same since you left but…
Today, I want to remember the good times I had with you.
Today, I remember the lessons you taught me.
Today, I want to say I’m sorry for everything that happened.
Today, I dedicate this video to you: in remembrance of who you are and what you stood for. I love you. Goodnight, mommom.