Things you'd never read in the bible | Mock The Week - BBC

Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games with two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events.

Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis examine the events of the week.

Mock the Week | Series 15 Episode 2 | BBC

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[ZGundam]

God is love
The Devil is 40
Match point

That had me rolling

[lxedk]

God told John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster

[Kerriangel]

"The DNA results prove Joseph.... you're NOT the child's biological father."

[muskatDR]

And after 3 days jesus came back to his diciples and said "Im never drinking again"

[theluckiesteh]

"....And it all had been a dream!"

Memoir of this world.

[xafsam]

James Acaster must be protected at all costs.

[agedemporer]

it rained for 40 days and 40 nights yet London still had the hosepipe ban

[SmolBlogger]

I have never been so entertained with a comedy show than I have this show. this is brilliant, I love all of it.

[Garrystephens]

Moses cried out to the King of Egypt in a loud voice
'Let my people go!' But Rameses sneered and said unto Moses 'Brother I am having you sectioned under the first Egyptian Mental Health Act... you are in fact a basket case!'

[jessicastevens]

And then Jesus said onto his disciples, 'Dost thou Even lift bro?'

[ewan.cartwright]

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying "Oh Lord, bless this thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, that with it thou may blowest thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

[emmacassidy]

It rained for 40 days and 40 nights- the best summer in Wales on record

[justinbrookes]

“Oh my God, they killed Jesus.”
“You bastards.”

[harrygoad]

As he hung upon the cross, Jesus said:
"I need to scratch my nose!"

[Lord_Skeptic]

it rained for 40 days. typical british weather.

[chestnutbloke]

Here is my own version of Sara’s Word joke so that you understand it more:
“In the beginning, there was the Word, then the Excel, then the PowerPoint, then the Access, then the OneNote, then the Outlook.”

[peterclarke]

The cod in breadcrumbs gag was from hugh's time with the Mary Whitehouse Experience, I believe

(Smugly adjust nerdy specs and goes back to his take a break easy sudoku...)

[Pining_for_the_fjords]

And David's triumph was heard throughout the land, which was not surprising as nobody had ever heard a motorbike engine before.

[johnnymilne]

2:50 no actually my mum couldn't have done that cos she's a virgin.

[meatballguy]

A couple of my suggestions are: "And they all lived happily ever after" or "This may be my greatest book I've written yet", said Jessica Fletcher."