This Mistake Teaches Your Toddler To Ignore You…

If you have to repeat the same thing 10 times and eventually raise your voice before your toddler will listen, here's what to do instead.

It's easy to fall into a pattern that actually teaches your toddler that this is just the normal way of doing things. In a way they become trained to ignore you the first few times and wait until you show them you're really serious before they pay attention.

That's never fun. It's stressful for you as a parent and that stress can transfer to your little one as well.

So what do you do about it?

There are actually 7 steps you can take to get your toddler to listen the first time. Each of these steps are quite easy to build into your behavior and they work really well as long as you're consistent.

There may be some resistance at first, but these are all really gentle techniques (no yelling required) that will dramatically improve your toddlers listening over time. Hopefully it's not long until your toddler no longer ignores you when you ask them to do something!

00:00 - 01:42 : First Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
01:43 - 02:07 : Second Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
02:08 - 02:31 : Third Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
02:32 - 05:13 : Fourth Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
05:14 - 05:22 : Fifth Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
05:23 - 05:56 : Sixth Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling
05:57 - 07:58 : Final Step to Getting Your Toddler to Listen Without the Need for Yelling

#emmahubbard #babydevelopment #toddlertantrums

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[EmmaHubbard]

Thanks for watching! Do you think this will work with your toddler?
Don’t forget to get your communication milestones chart here:

[SoMagicalMichele]

Half of your children need eye contact to hear. The other half are unable to hear while being forced to have eye contact. Learning this is powerful and explained to me why some of my kids listened to me and others didn't.

[MNkno]

Our younger son as a toddler, when told it was bedtime, the first thing he would do was to turn off the family TV and stand in front of it until we stood up and put things away along with him, and we ourselves got ready for bed when he did.
It was irritating, but impressive.

[rubym]

Toddler parenting is the most difficult thing in the world because no matter what IT"S NEVER THEM.. it's always you. What YOU can do better, what YOU can train yourself to do more of, less of, none of. It's the most exhausting journey I've ever encountered. The amount of emotional regulation we have to pull out of our asses, because many of us were never taught that skill, it's astonishing. We have to constantly be better so that they may or may not pick up some of those traits. Can you tell we are in the thick of it? Can you tell that I'm over trying so hard? There's no solution other than do better parents. UGH.

[ouuidyg]

I was discussing with my nephew about whether or whether not we are putting on shoes. He wanted to go outside. Turns out he didn’t understand the connection between going outside and putting on shoes (it was cold and wet outside, in summer I don’t mind barefoot). For him it was like „I wanna go outside“ „okay. We‘re going to do this completely unrelated thing now though“ and he got frustrated, so after saying let’s put on our shoes twice I explained it and said „you said you want to go outside right? We cannot go barefoot because it’s cold. We have to put our shoes on in order to go outside“. He sat down happily and was very glad we were finally putting on shoes and going outside. It didn’t even occur to me that he might not understand the connection at the time. Tbf I was 18ish back then and have learned a lot over the years 😁 but yeah, sometimes we just have to keep in mind their brains just work differently and see why they don’t do what we would like them to do

[yoyohanaBR]

I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure this advice will work with some adults too... 🤣 joking aside, great video!

[bubblebuffy]

As this video began, I was thinking: “it’s bedtime!” isn’t an instruction... So, yes, to agree with you, telling them something like “please go and choose the PJs you want” (for example) does tend to get a better response. I’m constantly surprised by how specific I need to be! (“Wash your hands with soap! Sit on your bottom!”etc.) Just getting used to it and my youngest is 4 😆 (my oldest (8) is autistic with language challenges so we continue to use short, clear instructions for him.)

[Girlypop]

You can also give them choices such as "would you like to walk to the car like a dog or like a bunny". They are so caught up trying to figure out which one they want they don't even consider that there are other options. LOL

[janetmichel]

Pregnant with my first right now. Glad that all the practice I have in training 3 dogs can be applied basically the same to toddlers!

[justinahole]

Engagement is key - being fully present and undistracted is how I got my kids to pay attention. This has carried on into their teens...at least so far...check back in a few years to see how that went. 😜

[AllThePeppermint]

"It's bedtime!" That's a declaration. And if you as the parent keep doing whatever it is you're doing, you're modeling a declaration that means nothing.
If your declaration is followed by ritual habits, then the declaration means *something*. It means preparing to go to sleep, such as brushing teeth, possibly a bath, putting on pajamas, etc.

I rarely have to even consider discipline, because I'm doing everything with the child/children and we are enjoying the process together.

[jessidurmis]

This is perfect…I always thought I should wait to give a consequence after asking a couple times but I realized my 2 year old was doing exactly what you were saying, learning that she can push it off till I ask over and over…I did start getting more strict and enforcing consequences after one time but now I will be consistent…this was very helpful..

[stickyfox]

Another way to model desired behavior is to put your phone down and respond to your kids the first time, instead of mumbling "mommy's doing wordle sweetie."

[nicb]

I like to give my 3yo a choice related to what needs to be done. Something like "Time to get in the car! Would you like to take your airplane or your helicopter in the car with you?" I don't always remember this but it really helps to get the focus off of stopping what we're doing and more on what fun thing we're doing next.

[thedayidied]

I'm going through this EXACT ISSUE with my toddler right now. Thank you for this advice - I can't believe that, despite having studied psychology over half my life and having worked for years in that field, I haven't realized this pattern. I truly, TRULY am grateful for this video.

[goawaypleasethanks]

Mum always hated parents who did that "1, 2, 3" bs because it teaches the child to keep acting out until 3. You only give them one ask and if they don't listen, act accordingly.

[bgeagle]

Thanks for all your help being a first timer grandpa. Just one item I want to bring up is when my little 4 month old girl is crying I take her to my aquarium 100 gal with big colorful fish, and she is completely enthralled for about 30 mins!! I love my aquarium along with the little one!!

[kamilavalic]

Emma, you are a true gem! This is the perfect level of parental education we are missing out there. No exaggerated emotions, just simple instructions without losing our minds. Sometimes I do wonder: since when we pay more attention to really investing ourselves in, say dog training, rather than developing a effective communication with our kids? Not comparing dogs to kids, but sort of I am… Because if you think about it, both require our clear leadership and as less negative emotions as possible with support! Thank you for your content!

[tobuslieven]

I think this is super important information for teachers and teaching assistants dealing with slightly older children who didn't get this input at a younger age. Brilliant video. Thanks.

[S.Clause]

Don’t just feed them food; eat your food along with feeding them; and be excited about eating your food.