For me, being my authentic self is being an Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess.
Julieber
“Allowing myself to be uncomfortable without being the savior!” You are incredible Heidi!! Thank you.
melonydosremedios
That idea of allowing the discomfort and even pain to be present as you let yourself be there without wearing the social “mask, ” it’s really, really powerful. After like 29 years of not ever feeling allowed to be openly myself without shame, I’m watching this and crying.
Especially after socializing with new people yesterday, and letting them see tiny parts of my more vulnerable, true self without having to constantly dissociate.
It’s terrifying, but on the other side of it it’s life-affirming. It makes you realize how prudent and knowledgeable you can be when leaving behind all of the false narratives about yourself perpetuated by family dysfunction and trauma.
slimsimchy
"The bigger the gap is from the reality of what we're thinking and feeling, and how we're behaving; the more difficult communication becomes."
That single piece of advice right there resonated with my core. It sent a ripple through my entire being. So simple, to engage in actions that align with your true feelings, yet so brave to enact!
labradonretriever
my issue is not shame, but fear. i don't trust humanity to respect my authentic self. but a lot of the coping mechanisms are the same and these tips are really useful.
MsAleytys
After a 6 year journey healing a lifetime of disregulation, delusion, masking, limnerance, neurosis, narcistic traits, alexthemia and just wild wierd behaviour. ive finally landed on your channel. I had to become the person and crack myself open and i never gave up. Watching this channel enabled me to step into my new life within days. Honestly ive watched 1000s of hours over the years and finding all that i need on this channel to finally be free was like finding gold. Everything made sense. Seeing myself for the first time was so profound. I am so grateful. Incredible work and for free. Thankyou thankyou thankyou 🙏❤️
Jenzy-K
This!!! I’ve graduated from Patrick Teahan to Heidi University … bae and I are gonna start hosting watch parties featuring this healing content. Thank you. We’ve needed you for so long. We are so bruised out here.
crazyjloop
wow, this was soooo helpful to me. I wonder if anyone else can relate, but I think this shows up in my consistently rewriting of texts/emails/comments. A friend texted me the other day, asking "how are you doing" and it took me all day to respond. ultimately, I ended up writing a chipper response, even though I've been going through a hard time. it's like a part of me feels like I owe everyone else a happy-go-lucky version of myself, a self that doesn't impose or burden anyone else. I now can see what kind of harm that does to my psyche. thank you, Heidi! so glad I found you!
sophietherese
The concept of not being a savior to every interaction has really stuck with me and informed my behavior this week (I think it was from this video, but it could have been a different one). I have always been blaming myself when interactions with people don’t go well, and now that I have the concept of not being a savior I’m able to interpret interactions in a more neutral way - if I find someone awkward to talk to, it really doesn’t mean anything more than that! And it doesn’t really matter! There are lots of other people I find interesting and fun to talk to. Very freeing.
natsu-machi
Heidi, seriously... You could literally patent your playlist on attachment and healing, plus recommend that folks read widely on childhood trauma, narcissistic families, shame, nonviolent communication, etc, sell it and be like a billionaire. I'm just saying... 😊❤️💰
Brinaweenahwoo
Thank you Heidi. I feel like you may be the first person to accurately describe the nature of my difficulties. I am a 53 year old, born to an alcoholic family. My older half sister raised me until I was three. She got pregnant and moved out. My parents worked and hung out at bars. A 16 year old girl who came to babysit turned out to be a child molester. I burned down my house when I was 6. I suspect the molestation was frequent though I only have a couple of regained memories about it. I disassociate often. Violence was a constant threat until I left home at 12 years old. I'm a hot mess. I stopped dating when I was confronted with proof that I function with no recollection of having done so. I went through a great deal of self hate and regret for some of the beautiful hearts I have touched in the past. I was completely unaware of my dissasociative nature until I spent a year at a VA hospital.its all so strange I.have trouble believing it, even with CCTV footage to prove it, as well as testimony of other vets having seen me on campus and me not recognizing them, and seeming odd, like not answering to my name when called out to. I basically describe it as dissasociative amnesia, because other explanations terrify me. Thanks Heidi, sorry about the long message but I needed a shoulders to cry on this morning. Gratefully Yours, Michael Obie Evans.
michaelevans
Realising I am using these videos to numb out and considering turning off and feeling stuff... but then feeling there's too many feelings right now and I don't have time. Also, been routinely avoiding a selection of feelings for so long, it's hard to know where to safely start
abbede
I have half recognized my tendency to self-abandon… but god it feels so intimidating & vulnerable to not act the way I believe people expect of me in that moment. I hope I can move through these feelings & honor my authentic self. Thanks for this video.. much appreciated.
hannahlambbb
I swear to god i have watched endless content on self help and your videos have changed my life!
Steph.mindset.mentor
Your videos are unbelievably helpful. Thank you! So often, my therapist will listen but not give practical steps for action. You set the table with fantastic examples and concrete verbs. Many, many thanks.
ElizaBailey-bk
You have a gift with words and communication. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Thank you for these videos and don't stop sharing your knowledge and wisdom!
mcgremi
thank you so much heidi! i honestly think the adhd community in particular could use these words, as so many of us are detached from our true selves (avoidant) and then have no energy for the fake self. for myself i think of the fake self as a manager, it’s trying to make sure everyone likes me and things are going well, and it needs help realizing i’m an adult now and the other emotions are safe to bring to the table.
tessallations
Killing the false energy is the best thing ever. I realised how many people I actually don't like to talk to and who I really like 😊👍
nanochan
Youre the only person i feel safe watching
Bleseddd
feeling disconnected from my “future self” and seeing her as an almost entirely different person has been at the root of my procrastination. i allow myself to screw over my future self (wether it be the me in 2 hours or the me in 2 years) because of this very disconnection. it’s been something i’m only realizing lately as i question my habits and patterns. thank you for acknowledging this.
