A taboo topic, but an incredibly important one. ❤️ #sahm #personalfinance

[AdviceWithErin]

oof — talk about a taboo topic 🙈 but goodness is this an important one.

The amount of women I’ve had privately message me over the years describing this scenario — it’s heartbreaking. 💔

One of the worst parts about being an adult is planning for the worst case scenario. And unfortunately, as statistics (and any divorce lawyer will tell you)—this is allll too common.

And no, It doesn’t have to be something as formal as a a prenup or private bank account! Everyone is different.

It can be you maintaining a monetizable skill. Having a plan if something goes south. Securing a support system. Buying life insurance. Investing in your own retirement account. Building a passive income stream. Maintaining a certification. Working part-time. Volunteering.

Countless women are struck by this ugly reality every day. Check in on your friends. Never stop advocating for yourself ❤️

[moinfo_moinfo]

Everyone is talking about abuse and divorce. Your spouse can become DISABLED or DIE. That is also a reality for many. Please think of contingency plans just in case.

[thewildarcher]

My mom has been telling me this since I was much younger. "If he starts hitting you, with what money are you going to get a lawyer to divorce him?" Realized the importance of that statement much later in life

[Tattedcatmom]

I was a stay ay home mom for 12 years, no secondary education but when he committed suicide, I had to provide for my family. This is so important whether you have a quality man or not.

[paseden]

husband here. my wife has a higher education as me, but chose to be a stay at home mom. our savings account is under her name for a simple reason: if anything ever happens to me, she and the kids should have money available fast!

[sweetandsweeter]

I was a SAHM until our baby started school. My husband then put me through nursing school so, in his words, “you always have a way to support you and the kids if something happens to me.” He gave me that security. He’s a loyal, honest, trustworthy man and I’m beyond blessed to have him.

[nononono-ynrj]

my moms words to me are always ‘no matter what you do in the future, be financially stable’. she’s said a million times before and I’ll make sure to do so.

[DarkLightSwordFight]

This kind of blunt straight to the point information is exactly what we fucking need. Thank you for doing what you do.

[Jessica-swtm]

I was a stay at home for 15 years, I got lucky and fall in the 1%. I was not aware that is what most women dealt with. Bless all you wonderful women and I am so much more grateful for my husband who has treated me so amazingly.

[jtixtlan]

I was a stay home mom for many years. Each year when we did our taxes, we deposited an equal amount into our IRAs (whatever we could afford divided by two). The income was OUR income and I had an equal say in how it was spent and saved. That was our agreement; if I stayed home it was our decision as partners and would not be financially subservient. 28 years later, he kept his word, kids are grown, I’m back at work and we are planning our retirement together.

[ulikemykungfu]

Husband here. Saving to send my wife to school to become an LPN. Told her if something happens to me she needs to be able to take care of the kids and herself. Definitely an important conversation to have. I also have enough life insurance to send her to school and pay all the bills for about 6 years if they stretched it out.

[Chickchoice]

My mom, born in ‘51, told us kids about how my grandpa who was a drinker and long haul truck driver would come home from long trips and gamble and drink his paycheck away after paying the basic bills. But there were 4 kids needing shoes, clothes…school supplies. My mom said they always wore hand me downs lined with newspaper once the soles wore through…. So my grandma out of desperation once applied for and accepted a job at a canning facility when my mom was maybe 9 yrs old. Grandma had to buy herself a pair of dungarees for the job….. mom recounts the horror of having grandpa return home from a job, already drunk….seeing the dungarees and going into a rage where he shredded the pants with her kitchen shears telling her how “no woman of mine is going to shame “ him…. As though HE can’t provide for the family. My grandma was physically and emotionally abused the entirety of her marriage.

Of course that man was not the man I knew as grandpa. When he had a massive stroke and heart attack he cold turkey quit alcohol and smoking and lived another 3 years with grandma taking care of his now paralyzed on one half of his body, expressive aphasia self unable to verbally communicate anymore (everything sounded like sudda-sudda-sudda). My mom has always said grandpa was the person he should have always been after the stroke….how alcohol ruined he and her uncles. After grandpa died….. many years later with me now being a young adult and in love with someone I would go on to marry…. I asked her:

Do you think you’ll ever want a relationship again? Find love?

She looked me dead in my eye…now in her early 70s and said, “honey, I will NEVER have another man in my life. NEVER” and that was the end of that line of questioning.

[BLdramaClub]

As a woman from a third world country my mom made sure to make me an engineer because she didn't want her daughter to be financially tied to someone instead of love.

[vikisartwork]

My husband is always telling me, “you need to know this so you’re prepared in case anything happens to me. I want to ensure you and the kids will always be taken care of.” He also has encouraged me to build my own business and continue nursing school so I can have a backup plan just in case. ❤

[bookwormandpoet]

If your partner says they "wouldn't like" you having a side gig, that's a serious red flag.

[Duck-wcde]

I personally think that this is one of the main reasons for the gender pay gap. Not that men and women are paid diferent for the same work, but that women picking most of the housework allows the husband to progress further in his career

[eggiesammich]

Yes. I have worked with many women who were divorced after raising their kids and left with few options for their golden years. It breaks my heart. I am thankful to have a supportive husband. I worked while he went through college, now he works so I can stay home while our kids are babies. I have several side hustles, some of which keep my foot in the door for my career (which I plan to return to someday). SAHM life has been liberating, and having options for the future has been more so.

[meriadocbrandybuck]

My dad helped my mom finish her PhD so that she could afford to take care of all 9 of us kids if anything ever happened to him. She stayed home with us for 20 years and now is back to being a chemist and holding patents. She got hired at the same company as my dad and they eat all their lunches together. It’s really cute

[KrispyKrunchee]

My ex-husband buried me in debt. I spent YEARS paying it off with minimum wage jobs. God saw me through and I smashed it all. I couldn’t even have my own place for almost 8yrs after. Even though I still believe in marriage and I support women who want to stay home, Erin is very right. Keep yourself a little nest egg & if possible, use the time to put a little internet shop. Just don’t lose your identity.

[vtcs]

It is mind boggling to me that in 2023 we still need to share this information. I kind of understood when my contemporaries bought into the stay at home mom myth (I never did). I’m 60. So lots of my friends learned the hard way that they should never have stopped working. But now it’s the turn of our children - you’d think they would know this by now. My daughter in law won’t have my grandchild (as much as I want her to) until she gets tenure. I totally respect that.