{Ben Tennyson} How Could This Happen To Me [Vent]

We back to vents? Yep, we're back to vents.

Before I get these comments: Yes I know the song is called 'Untitled', so get over yourselves by making that comment.

Vent:

I finished college a few weeks ago, and honestly it sucks. College was the only thing that got me out of my house. Home is kinda hell, considering that I have to take care of my grandma along with my father. Like just because I live here, I'm forced to help take care of her. I know people are gonna give me shit for it, like "Omg respect your elders." This isn't the full story, and I don't feel like sharing everything. I don't hate her, I don't, I just wish I didn't live here. Unless you lived through having to take care of someone elderly, don't fucking talk.

Not like I was doing much anyway tbh considering I have no friends to hang out with. The only time I get out of this house now is for Crew. Sure I have friends there, hell they're like a second family, but none of them would hang out with someone like me. They all have their own things going on, they all have their own shit to deal with. It fucking sucks. I know my one friend from Crew won't be like the rest, he isn't like that and he's never given me a reason not to trust him. But he wouldn't hang with me outside Crew either, I've barked up that tree before and got ignored.

I've only been out of school for a few weeks, and i'm tempted to fall back into my old patterns. As long as you act happy, people think you're happy. No one wants to constantly deal with my shit. No one wants to hear about a girl who doesn't have friends because of her own mental instability who apparently can't show gratitude.

I know it's getting bad again because I knew how many suicidal/death/depression jokes I've made when I was at the lockin with the Crew Friday night. I doubt anyone noticed, because I acted like it was all a huge joke. It's all fun and games until someone kills themselves I guess.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if everyone's just better off without me. But then I realize that I know some people value my presence when they need it. Guess that's better than nothing tbh. It just fucking sucks that every goddamn summer since Junior year of high school I've tried killing myself. I thought this year would be different, but I doubt it. Kinda hard for it to be different when so much shit has happened to where I probably should go through with it.

There's so much shit I've done, and so much shit I've been through, and the same factor is myself. That's gotta mean something right? That I fucking deserve all the shit that happened. I fucking deserve everyone I care about leaving cause of my mental issues. I'm surprised more people haven't been like the rest.

...If anyone read all of this, thanks I guess.

[baylieghflorence]

Ben 10 taught me everything. Everything he knows and everything he learns.

[sniperghost]

I can't even imagine my life without Ben 10

[speedspidey]

Your videos are fantastic! When I watch some of them I’m overwhelmed by emotions and it feels like I’m a kid in my bedroom watching Ben 10 again. Keep doing what you’re doing you have no idea how much it means to us.

[TylenArcher-ce]

Please make a full version of this AMV.

[AnimationFreak]

Great job Allie! Great timing with the voice overs too. And don't say that. Of course we care about you. I know, being physically there has it's things that internet friendships don't but internet friendships aren't any less real than real life friendships. *hugs*

[PriorPopular]

Lol 😂 IM HERE FOR THE MOODINESS!! And it was delivered! Well done 👏👏👏👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼 Lol 😂 Some finely cooked emo moodiness here and I live for it lol 👌🏼👌🏼

[brucesmith]

Stay determined you mean a lot to us then you think trust me I been there

[strategicmind]

I prefer omniverse over the new reboot

[Nightjewel-rpbl]

dear i read the whole description, and yeah, life can be a fucking mess sometimes, i can`t tell you my whole story in youtube bc it's useless, i understand you pain and loneliness i just want to be honest with you, when i was young (now i'm 24 years old) when i was in highschool my life was kinda shitty, my parents were an lil son of the bitch with me and my sister, and i cried almost every night asking why everybody was so cruel to me, bc in my school nobody cared and i thought that is my destiny and even i considered killing myself i didn't bc i was scared and bc i thought i prefer to kill everyone else who was cruel to me before killing myself (bc i thought that was fair bc i wasn't a bad person to be treated in that way) and i keep on my life even when life bring me more and more shit, but here i'm, stronger bc i survived, but kinder bc i knows how it feels to be there in full shit, so i can only say that life get better, and yes, you have all right to feel like shit but you deep down know that you can do it, you can survive this, that is all if you want to talk here i'm.

[duckythefella]

If no Ben 10 I would be going all over the internet just to find a cartoon