The Courage to be Disliked Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga @audiobook hub

The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

#self-help #discipline #neuroscience #biology #motivatio

[znth]

*THE FIRST NIGHT: DENY TRAUMA*
01:28 - The Unknown 'Third Giant'
07:13 - Why People Can Change
14:03 - Trauma Does Not Exist
21:10 - People Fabricate Anger
26:38 - How to Live Without Being Controlled by the Past
31:10 - Socrates and Adler
34:16 - Are You Okay Just As You Are?
38:33 - Unhappiness Is Something You Choose for Yourself
43:29 - People Always Choose Not to Change
51:58 - You Life Is Decided Here and Now

*THE SECOND NIGHT: ALL PROBLEMS ARE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS*
1:00:13 - Why You Dislike Yourself
1:12:24 - All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems
1:17:21 - Feelings of Inferiority Are Subjective Assumptions
1:25:38 - An Inferiority Complex Is an Excuse
1:34:16 - Braggarts Have Feeling of Inferiority
1:45:39 - Life Is Not a Competition
1:51:44 - You’re the Only One Worrying About Your Appearance
2:00:34 - From Power Struggle to Revenge
2:07:46 - Admitting Fault Is Not Defeat
2:12:31 - Overcoming the Tasks That Face You in Life
2:20:02 - Red String and Rigid Chains
2:27:51 - Don’t Fall for the“Life-Lie”
2:33:19 - From the Psychology of Possession to the Psychology of Practice

*THE THIRD NIGHT: DISCARD OTHER PEOPLE'S TASKS*
2:37:16 - Deny the Desire for Recognition
2:44:35 - Do Not Live to Satisfy the Expectations of Others
2:54:03 - How to Seperate Tasks
3:00:44 - Discard Other People’s Tasks
3:05:36 - How to Rid Yourself of Interpersonal Relationship Problems
3:12:33 - Cut the Gordian Knot
3:20:50 - Desire for Recognition Makes You Unfree
3:28:53 - What Real Freedom Is
3:37:47 - You Hold the Cards to Interpersonal Relationships

*THE FOURTH NIGHT: WHERE THE CENTER OF THE WORLD IS*
3:47:34 - Individual Psychology and Holism
3:55:03 - The Goal of Interpersonal Relationship Is a Feeling of Community
4:00:36 - Why Am I Only Interested in Myself?
4:05:07 - You Are Not the Center of the World
4:12:19 - Listen to the Voice of a Larger Community
4:22:42 - Do Not Rebuke or Praise
4:31:55 - The Encouragement Approach
4:38:17 - How to Feel You Have Value
4:44:19 - Exist in the Present
4:51:55 - People Cannot Make Proper Use of Self

*THE FIFTH NIGHT: TO LIVE IN EARNEST IN THE HERE AND NOW*
5:02:48 - Excessive Self-Consciousness Stifles the Self
5:07:20 - Not Self-Affirmation... Self-Acceptance
5:13:56 - The Difference Between Trust and Confidence
5:25:02 - The Essence of Work Is a Contribution to the Common Good
5:31:50 - Young People Walk Ahead of Adults
5:38:22 - Workaholism Is a Life-Lie
5:47:18 - You Can Be Happy Now
5:56:26 - Two Paths Travelled by Those Wanting to Be 'Special Beings'
6:02:26 - The Courage to Be Normal
6:06:30 - Life Is a Series of Moments
6:10:13 - Live Like You're Dancing
6:16:36 - Shine a Light on the Here and Now
6:21:11 - The Greatest Life-Lie
6:26:40 - Give Meaning to Seemingly Meaningless Life
6:37:42 - Afrerword

[riotinvictus]

this book felt like a sucker punch and a hug at the same time. extraordinary. we really do have more power to change our lives than we assume we do

[rakim]

Listened to section one 10 times before moving on. Such a powerful yet foreign mode of thought.

[spontaneousbootay]

I did not expect this. The best book that i have ever come across. Well written, it is all truth, and its about living in your own truth while allowing others to live theirs. This allows for harmony and greater expression.

[NannyOggins]

It seems to me that this book largely endorses my own philosophy. You must like yourself, so become what you like and respect, and you will like yourself. Yes, there will be many people who don’t like you so much because you refuse to “play the game”, be manipulated, fulfil their expectations of you. Don’t waste energy, the energy and time of your life, in resentment of them. It’s very important that you come to a place where you REALLY don’t care, so that none of your energy is wasted in negatively. This is a great book and I’m going to buy myself a copy to keep. Many thanks.

[akatevivid]

Wonderful. When i first picked this book up like an year ago, i couldnt really understand anything.
It’s been an year and i picked this book up again.
And now every word made sense.
I guess there is always certain time for things.

[danielstaystrong]

"We are not determined by our experience but the meaning we give them" super profound. Meditate on that one

[dw]

3:14:30
He pulled out his sword and sliced it in half with one stroke. "Destiny is not something brought by legend. But by clearing away with ones own sword." Wow

[NoaNoir]

3:32:38 Freedom is being disliked by other because you are not bending to their will. You are not their puppet. You are living by your own principles. No fear of being disliked and unconcerned by their opinions is freedom.
5:53:25 The desire for recognition is a means to liking yourself, we value that but there is no freedom from that. Contribution to God and servants to other as ordained by God gives freedom.
6:01:00 Problem behavior is a way to get attention for problem behavior.
6:10:27 A life of greatness is a series of present moments.
6:22:50 Don't wait to live see the present moments as your life, not a destination. Not doing so postpones life when we think of life as a preparatory stage for the future. Life is always simple.

[captainlennyjapan]

This book was a massive hit in Japan and Korea. I’ve met the author himself multiple times fortunately. Highly recommended.

[Falas]

I think being disliked is not necessarily about telling the truth but the attitude while telling it. One can tell the same truth to hurt or to help. One can tell the same truth with a soothing voice or with a condescending voice.

[zh]

Yay! an audiobook that is not narrated by a robot. Can't wait to listen. Thank you

[harrybellingham]

i read this book years ago but i never read the book ive read twice over the past few days. sometimes youre not ready to hear the words like the book says

[serenesapiens]

I think it comes from a place of trauma we've faced and watched others experience the same around us. FEAR, ANXIOUSNESS AND HELPLESSNESS might be the main factors that influence our people pleasing traits. We never want to hear, " I told you so." or " You deserved it." We are shaped by our society not because we want to, but, to conform into normal and peaceful living. One thing I understood from reading this book is that it serves to be useless for the people who undergo extreme amount of discrimination and exploitation on a daily basis. But if you do not belong to that group, then, go for it.

[BecomingLizzyBlue]

Only about 20 minutes in, and already, while I think the ideas have possibilities, there’s a flawed premise. He states that if the etiological theory was true all abuse victims would experience the same reactions. However, we are shaped by both our genetic traits and the sum of our experiences. Even with those who share a common traumatic experience there will be different degrees as well as other influences that play a role. However, while people experiencing similar trauma may not all react in exactly the same way, psychologists actually have identified behaviors common to a large number of them. I think the most effective approach is one that would integrate aspects of all the leading theories. I’ve never understood the insistence on dedication to one expert or theory to the exclusion of all others. It does not diminish the importance of one theory to acknowledge the merits of another. Even seemingly contradictory approaches can often exist alongside each other.

[inamdararsh]

The book with deepest insights...!! You need minimum 2 times reading or listening to absorb it completely!! Thanks both the authors. Ichiro Kashimi & Fumitake Koga

[celestejones-vdvq]

This book has changed my life. The superiority bit about not wanting to be normal and jumping from such extremes from going to good to bad literally speaks to my soul. Why didn’t I know about this book??! I’m 25, so I have 10 years and by 35 I should be able to have a freedom in interpersonal relationships that are not vertical but horizontal, and have the true freedom in not having validation from others. We can change ❤

[YuliaGrushevskaya-bihe]

😊I am so used to it I was disliked by my family from my childhood i was always speaking up my mind that was Way too different from them I had different reactions thoughts dreams 😊😅 I am fine being different, I am glad I am out of my native country so I can discover other crazy people who are even more crazy 😅😊

[restlessnosleep]

I like how he confronted the fear of being normal. It’s great to hear that addressed in a modern philosophical and practical perspective

[pjk]

This book came up in my algorithm and glad it do. Love the creative style and recaps every few chapters. My hand has cramped up from taking so many notes😂! Tnx for the upload.