Jaw dropping Customs Of Mourning The Dead from The Victorian Era

The Victorians are often remembered for their prudish and repressed behavior, but few realize their almost fanatical obsession with death. Queen Victoria, who ruled England from 1837 to 1901, was especially fixated on mourning. Following the death of her husband, Prince Albert, she mourned elaborately for 40 years, dressing in black every day and keeping their home unchanged from the day he died.
The Victorian era was not known for its flexibility regarding social conventions, and mourning was governed by strict rules of decorum. Death was a common aspect of daily life for Victorians, leading them to develop elaborate rituals to cope with loss. Those who failed to adhere to these rigid mourning practices were socially shamed. Some customs, such as eating dinner after funerals and placing flowers around the deceased, persist today, while others, some quite peculiar, have faded over time.
In this episode, we delve into the eerie Victorian death traditions, ranging from sin-eating cookies to wearing black for years. Victorians would even pose for photographs alongside their deceased loved ones. Since photography, invented in the mid-1800s, was still quite expensive during the Victorian era, people often couldn't afford joyful family photos. Instead, they saved photo opportunities for significant moments, such as capturing an image with a deceased loved one to remember them eternally. Families would raise money after a loved one's death to have a photo taken, often the only image they had of their now-broken family.
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[vivelaresistance]

Photos after death are so interesting because the live subjects were often blurry while the dead person is, of course, still and in sharp focus.

[cynthiacarter]

I have never forgotten the overwhelming scent of all the flowers at the 1968 funeral service of a 17 year old classmate. He died suddenly over a weekend and the autopsy couldn’t find the cause. His mother was inconsolable and fainted several times. I have never walked up to an open coffin since.

[jackieporter]

When my grandfather died in 1955, he was laid out in his home, and visitors came to, pay their respects to him and the family. All the curtains at the front of the house were drawn, and all the mirrors were covered with cloth, there was an evergreen wreath, draped in black on the front door. When the cortège left for his funeral service all the houses in the road had their curtains drawn I can remember it so vividly today, lots of those customs were upheld.❤

[susanb]

Someone changed the word from Parlor to Living Room after people stopped using Parlors for wakes. Living meaning it was a room for people who were alive.

[Boogledigs]

Even in the 1950's there were some rules. When someone died, all of the curtains were pulled together. When the family returned after the funeral, the curtains were opened again. This signalled to neighbours what was happening. For six months a black band was worn on the left sleeve of your coat. For the next six months you wore a black diamond shaped piece of fabric. This was removed on the day following the first anniversary.

[serahloeffelroberts]

All ages were vulnerable, not just elderly. Nowadays the death of a child is unusual. Back then, a family had to accept that many children would die. No wonder they wanted to get a photo of their dead baby.

[annabrahamson]

My grandfather in 1949 was "waked" in his own home his family took turns sitting with him.

[SandraKindreich]

My great granny, who was born in 1886, wore black for over 30 yrs after the death of her husband until the day she died

[shirlysmilesmusic]

I live in the south and families kept their loved ones bodies in their home, into the 60's maybe early 70's. I remember as a child being in homes with the loved ones laying there in the living room in a casket!

[hettyphilips]

My family used to wear black armbands after a family death.

[witatter]

My maternal grandmother had to sit next to a relative’s body. It was customary for 2 people, usually 1 male and 1 female, to sit the night next to the deceased. As not everyone was embalmed it was the job of the my grandmother, and her partner, to wipe away the fluid that would seep out of the mouth of the deceased. A small clarification: You showed a picture of a man sitting in a chair with a stand behind him with an arm of that stand touching the back of his head. That was common for keeping living people in place during the long exposure, Not for propping up the dead as it is sometimes described.

[RevLeigh]

Women apparently had many more rules to follow in mourning. Many men married again within a year or two.

[marriemalta]

I remember when Grandma died, six months later her son passed also my mother wore black for more than two years until my father said enough is enough, still no tv and no music for a week. Gradually these customs faded,

[sewcrazybaker]

"Morning" attire and "Morning" period? Nope. That should be MOURNING.

[barb-jm]

It is interesting that someone stood guard near the deceased until burial. That is good, because a body was stolen from a funeral home here after her service and the deceased young woman's body was never found. I did not know that the flowers were actually deordorizing the deceased before burial.

[janstaz]

I think Queen Victoria went ott when Albert died bit rough for her family.

[pioneercynthia]

So many "morning" rituals, and not enough "mourning."

[PaulaDautremont]

Queen Victoria also set his clothes out each night.

[lilgeorge]

My grandparents bought me up, and I can remember my grandads brother died, and he was in the front room of their house for a week before his funeral.

[SuzanneBaruch]

It's not correct that the Victorians didn't utilize embalming; in fact, it was quite popular in the US. During the Civil War, tens of thousands of dead soldiers were embalmed so they could be sent home to their families. Many held open casket funerals once the body arrived. Then in 1865, after Abraham Lincoln's assassination, his body was embalmed and traveled a circuitous route from Washington, DC, to Chicago, IL, during which many stops were made so people could pay their respects and view the body. These two events -- the Civil War and Lincoln's assassination -- made embalming of the dead a routine event during the 1860's onward.