NEW | That PROPOSAL may NOT COME again - Mufti Menk

CLARIFICATION. This advice is to all those who don't consider the brilliant opportunities they're given in life. The example is not intended to aim at women alone. This video is intended to guide us all towards considering matters before discarding them and yes, we are allowed to discard what we feel we don't want or are not ready for.

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[sammy__sammy]

My parents don’t want me to marry the man I’ve chosen because I’ve chosen according to deen and character. They don’t like him because he doesn’t have an amazing career. Please keep me in your duaas, brothers and sisters. Please.

[kathijafathima]

"Stop saying that you want a man who will take you to jannah if you are a materialistic person” well said 👌

[Anaya]

Just look at the timing as I am extremely thinking about it you have sent me such a fantastic video. May Allah bless me and all sisters and brothers with such a spouse who might be the coolness of our eyes, Ameen .

[DeadliciousCookingStudio]

Never underestimate your Dua. Your dua can move mountains. Miracles happen everyday. You never know when a miracle will happen for you. Whenever I’m making a Dua and I feel like “I can’t get it. I’m asking too much. This is impossible” I just remind myself that nothing is impossible for allah and miracles happen everyday and for all I know tomorrow could be the day a miracle happens for me.

[studytime]

"...You marry people in the early times of their life because u should grow together..."

Ma sha Allah

[CharleyVCU]

I am a revert, but was pressured into marriage (and the shahadah) by my soon to be ex wife. I had failed my physician certification exam while I was dating her (as a non Muslim). I understand the concept of "dating" is frowned upon in Islam, but at the time, I was unaware of this. I was also set to travel to another state to obtain extra training in my specialty. Her exact words to me were: "Marry me or we break up, I'm not flying out there to see a guy I am not invested in." Our soon to be ending marriage of 4 years was marred by arguments over just about everything, and with the arrival of our son, things got a whole lot worse. I'm pretty sure giving a marriage ultimatum is the worst way to start off a marriage as it implies a lack of trust in the partner. She, a 33-yo woman at the time we were dating, threw a temper tantrum when I couldn't take a picture of her properly. That was a red flag. The marriage ultimatum should have been another red flag. Pushing to have our son when I was not board certified and with no stable job prospect? Should have been another. Getting mad about me spending on my own toys when she wanted a big screen TV and a big expensive wedding? Hmmmm...the signs were all there. Rocky relationship with a family with allegations of psychological and physical abuse, but somehow wants to be near them for the nieces and nephews? And yet she wants to rely on THEM for child care? BIG RED FLAG. Talk about willingly walking back into the lion's den!

I understand the idea of "opportunity only knocks once" - and I understand the idea that one is supposed to grow together with their spouse. That is in a moral, just world, not here in the decadent West. However, at the time in my gut I did not feel I was ready for marriage (and she wanted kids real quick because of some genetic condition), because I did not feel like I was financially stable enough at the time to be ready to provide and protect my family. WIthout the critical physician certification your job opportunities are limited. I did not want to let her, or my children, or anyone else, see me suffer tremendously if my job fell through. I already had one family member waste his opportunity at a good life by failing out of a prestigious medical training program. Who knows, the punishment from Allah may be a blessing, because he is an awesome stay at home dad. I did not want to end up like him though. In this modern world skewed by social media and material wants, people want their significant others pre-assembled as the entire package. Otherwise, to get married while still trying to achieve stability is like trying to fly a plane while it is being built. It's a really terrible idea. I saw others have families during medical residency but they also came from strong, upright moral families - and I did not come from one. I fell for the simplistic trap that "love conquers all." Not so much.

All I wanted to do was the right thing, which was to actually BE ready and stable. I had no faith, no deen, no imaan. I was a terrified man worried about his own future and nothing else. when we eloped (and me with still no physician certification), the days afterwards, I questioned what I had done deep down. If marriage was to be so celebrated across any culture, why did I feel this way? No one was at the nikkah, just two witnesses from the community. None of our families or friends. Apparently the body has a way of telling you that you made the wrong decision even if you can somehow rationalize it, much like a chemical addiction messes with your body. And I rationalized all of the bad behaviours as a way to cope, and now I see everything brought to light with this ultimate test (although probably not the last )from Allah. Yes, I started wasting time on useless things. I spent recklessly. I gained weight and exercised less. Bedroom fun was always an issue from the beginning, as I was partially freaked out about my certification status. Porn became an issue because I thought I had no idea what I was doing so I wanted examples to look at. Yeah, that's one hell of a rationalization if I ever knew one. I was told that God protects those in subtle ways, for when our Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) had encountered gamblers, he suddenly fell asleep. The psychological ED and PE should have been warning signs and they did carry over from a previous relationship from what I now knew as someone only interested in me for money. Then again, for my current soon to be ex wife, asking for what was essentially a $40, 000 3 karat engagement ring when she tried to tell me about humility and grace seems hypocritical. The ring looks like one of those absurd ring pop candies the kids get in the store! Even my parents who I am estranged from said that the money from the ring and wedding reception (held last year due to covid) would be better spent towards a college fund for our son. And I am not one for pomp or ceremony, I don't wear outrageous clothes nor flex fancy cars, I'm no Andrew Tate.

In short, I no longer recognized myself, and I became the worst version of myself I never thought I was capable of becoming.

Now, as I begin to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, I find more comfort in the Quran and its simple message. I may stumble here and there to repent for all of my sins. I may be broken but unbowed, and I seek forgiveness from God Almighty.

[moniramhmd]

Subhanallah praying for those unmarried man & woman Allah will send the right one to care and supports warmth & comport, love and respect no matter how big differences in between the two of us, acceptance more important to atchieve happiness, work together and no secret behind, bind together, enjoy and spends time together, care each other, subhanallah couple deffinitely will atchieve full of blessing from the lord, full of majesty, Bounty and Honour.

[syedanaba]

People mostly want good looks, nobody asks how many times do u pray ..do u read quran or not ..they do not see whether the person is pious or not...instead they need a showpiece to show off! Sad Reality! May Allah swt make it easy for our parents to take right decisions for us ameen !

[sayedmustaq]

Yesterday I was just crying to Allah to plz show me the as 1 proposal was going to come today thnkey so much may Allah bless uh & plz pray for me the guy I love his parents aren't rdy for his marriage

[lisalazarris]

Will you pray for my marriage, please, I've been waiting for 2 years to be married. My one true love is in Egypt. His name is Ahmed

[hajnalkabalogh]

I'm a Hungarian from Serbia! Greetings for everyone!

[roohmakhan]

A.o.A Mufti Menk... I need humble prayers as i lost opportunities 🥺🥺 that makes me quite upset 🥺

[ericosmostech]

Allah creates a noor in their faces whom Allah loves most... I can see that Noor in Mufti Menks face, Alhamdulillah... 💖💖❤❤❤❤❤❤💖💖

[hazelsulmn]

I was recently in a relationship with someone who i said No to because I had just lost my father and I was hurting. My relatives were happy with it but I said no anyways due to my situation and mental state at the time. I now realise that I lost someone special and I really want them back but it’s too late unfortunately. May Allah have mercy on me for taking him for granted. My advice is to always exhaust all possibilities when you are told to consider someone by the people who are close to you and those who love you. It really hurts my heart to see them move on but alhamdulillah that’s what Allah decreed.

[warisrashidi]

Masha Allah. What a time for this video to be uploaded. Such a kind and soft spoken person you are. May allah grant you the highest paradise, Ameen.

[juleslavallee]

No clarification necessary Mufti Menk. You are one of the few people on the planet that is pure like the driven snow. You make sense. Your honest is so pure. Fantastic video.

[uneezaqureshi]

It is so hard trying to find someone whose level of deen is at least close to mine. Everyone is so much into haram things, I feel like an alien. Many times I am told to leave some of my own restrictions so that I may find someone suitable. But this video has cleared some of the ambiguities. jazakAllah!

[saleemahmuhammad]

That is true. A great man has been placed in my life. We are happily married for 30 years.

[hafsatyahaya]

Subhanallah! Is this a sign?..this message is timely. May Allah Grant us the best

[freemovies]

I am in a process of finding a spouse. I am 27. What I have seen so far that the guys mother is so evil and asks so many questions regarding my religion that it makes me feel like that I am not Muslim. I had so many good proposals and guys were interested but their mothers omg evil is the small word for them they are satan. I pray 5 times ALHUMDULILAH. Never been In any haram relationship. I don’t judge people and fear Allah in ever step of my life. May Allah guide the people who are rejecting girls only because they don’t seem too religious to you.