The only way to *actually* avoid drama at work

Ignoring office politics doesn’t keep you out of drama at work or corporate politics. In fact, it makes you the target. So how can you actually avoid corporate politics and drama at work? In this video we're going to talk about why ignoring corporate politics makes you the target, what you should do instead, and the only way to insulate yourself from toxic coworkers and their drama.

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[PotterSpurn]

I don't know why we can't just go to work, do our work, be friendly to everyone, and just go home again. This term 'office politics' is one of those terms that everyone assumes everyone knows what it means, but to me seems more confusing than ever the more it is explained to me.

So I will say what I think it means:

1. Find out who is who - who is in the know. Who matters, who doesn't. Spend the first few months listening, watching, learning. Don't jump in and ally yourself with the wrong people. It is hard to disengage with those and form new alliances after dumping old ones that turn out to be useless to you.
2. Find out who is powerful and has the ear of the boss that matters for your career - the person who can develop your career may not be your immediate boss if their own boss hates them. Find out what the boss's boss thinks of your boss and sidle up to them instead - even if it means kicking your supervisor in the shins.
3. Be prepared to prostitute yourself to stay on the good side of 1 and 2, even if you personally can't stand them. Don't rub the wrong people up the wrong way. Learn to smooze instead.
4. Don't stand out too much as the office 'tall poppy' who is much better at their job than your boss is at their own job; and don't stand out as the office super efficient workhorse either - no one ever got promoted by working extra hard or working overtime for no extra pay. You just become the person everyone soon finds out they can dump on with the work they don't want to do whilst they just sit around chatting and smoozing those in the know, and no one wants to lose someone like that. So your performance reviews will alway be 'average' for going beyond and above your job description and it will be poor when you just do what you are paid for, which reflects what the boss wants: to keep you in the same job so their metrics look good and their voluntary turnover is minimised - becuase it makes them look like a good encouraging, motivating boss when they are really a manipulative bully who is just about hanging my a thin thread and whose survival tactics depend of them dividing and ruling everyone else on your team and relying on the tattlers to find out what is going on. Set firm boundaries and stick to them - like starting as you mean to go on by doing your contracted hours, having your lunchbreak and refusing work which you have no time to do. Just like everyone else, in other words.
5. If there is toxic negative politics - tittle tattle, nasty water cooler gossip about others - avoid those people as you will be tarnished by the same brush as them and be seen as unpromotable.

My advice is to try to get a job working from home or go self employed and avoid all this office bull**p in the first place. Chances are you will fall at the first fence if you are an office dolphin swimming amongst sharks who play this game well because they invented it and the rules you need to play by - the narcissists who, like all scum, rise to the top of a polluted pond and steer the culture that way for future employees who think they are keen to be going to work in a postive work environment only to find themselves drowning in a toxic cesspit instead and regret the day they ever left their last job.

[qicai]

Do your work, work hard, listen to your manager. Develop a good relationship with anyone. That’s it. Nobody can control anybody’s mouths.

[wd]

But I don't believe in allies in a workplace. Just like there is no friend in a workplace.

[Plumpers]

When everyone else had to return to in office and I had to work from home due to my disability, my reputation tanked and everyone started ignoring me. It all turned around when I joined the party planning committee and took control of my narrative while associating myself with fun holiday parties. Everyone is very friendly to me again!

[readysetno]

Yeah, no. From my experience the people who engage in office politics, enjoy chit chat and organize those “fun” events at work…ARE NARCISSISTS. It didn’t happen for them in junior high, and it didn’t happen for them in HS and so they’re desperately trying to make fetch happen in the workplace. I saw a survey asking people whether they want to work from home…11% of people did not. That’s them. It is not anyone’s responsibility to enable a narcissist. I think more awareness on personality disorder is what companies really need to prevent hiring people like this and practical tips on how to repel them.

*Edited for grammar.

[northernsilverstacker]

I’m fortunate that we have very little “work politics”. My boss’s desk is right with all of the coworkers desks, he could have an office of his own but chose to sit right with everyone else. This has been the case since before I started at the company 9 years ago. We all get along and my boss dose not tolerate gossip or badmouthing of other workers. My boss has said from the beginning, if you have a problem with a coworker, confront them and work it out, if your not able to then I will intervene and one way or another, the issue will be dealt with. He’s a great boss to work for, he doesn’t play favourites (which I know is odd). He always tells us that he is there for us, that essentially, he’s there to manage the department but also, is there to work on our behalf. When fellow coworkers move to other departments (for promotion or other opportunities) they actually feel a bit guilty and disloyal because he’s so great to work for…he always puts them at ease and reminds them that it’s never personal, it’s just business, your doing what is right for you and your family. It’s like working in the twilight zone sometimes, lol!

[drunkdonutboy]

I think you're screwed either way at least I have. Even if you're not saying anything bad they can always put words in your mouth and people will believe them.

[ayp]

I have no desire to participate in office gossip. You can't control what others say or think about you. Do your job, keep the boss happy, your co-workers are NOT your friends...

[elenagavrilova]

At the end of the day, colleagues one has built a relationship with, will not step up for them. The best scenario: a warm goodbye, short calls or even get together time, again gossips. At the office everyone stands up for themselves, their salary, their future...
At least i have never seen someone steps up for someone.

[feliznavidad]

You have to understand that some of us provoke things in people just by existing. I've been harassed by men at work just for minding my business and doing my job. They expected me to entertain them. My boss knows what I'm good at and so do the people I help. The women in my area don't seem to keen on my silence either. My work ethic is really good so I don't think I'm in a bad spot but because of how I look, people will treat me a certain way. When humans are actually good (which they aren't) and are free of prejudice, insecurity, and dark tetrad traits, then we will have peace. I won't hold my breathe though.

I also find this video contradictory to a lot of your topics. Coworkers aren't our friends but we need to engage in office politics now?

[marebennett]

That’s what I taught in nursing school NO discussion of politics or church on the job. But I have talk about God but only when my patient started the conversation.

[greneellen]

I had a boss that actively tried to keep our department isolated. We weren't allowed to talk to other people in the building. If we did it was questioned, or the other people were reported to their bosses that they were wasting "her employees" time with useless chatter. We were also discouraged from talking to one another within our department. We were only allowed to talk to her. I didn't realize how oppressive and difficult this would make things. I had no allies because I didn't know anyone and no one knew me. The company's impression of me, my productivity, how I did my job was dependent upon her assessment. It was depressing and isolating. Networking is the key to happiness at work. I quit after 6 months. I gave all this feedback to HR during my exit interview and I was told her contributions bolstered the company's bottom line and everyone else was expendable.

[PoSHEmediaglobal]

I work directly with the CEO and director as an assistant and they encourage me to avoid politics. The only people I need to impress are them 2 and they are happy with my work.

I do try to be nice to every single worker

[tianacarroll]

I usually love these videos and clicked on this ready for insight, however it felt like 10 minutes of ‘just go talk to people’. The fact of the matter is if people are hell bent on ignoring you or treating you poorly they aren’t going to turn around and just have a pleasant conversation with you. Or they’ll be two faced and shit talk you to a whole other team while being nice to your face. Currently dealing with the nay-sayers club at work and thankfully I have a great boss who makes be visible and makes sure I’m included in things. I definitely do the leg work of trying to make these connections myself, but it’s been made clear that people don’t really give a hoot unless they think he’s going to be involved. I think I’m making it not worth their time to continue being jerks, but I would love more concrete strategies on networking in the team so I don’t have to only rely on my managers shadow.

[anchy]

Sorry, but no.
I will not join my coworkers who are connecting (gossiping) during workhours just to get notice or promoted. Acting like I am interested in someone who is not is way worse then just sitting by myself at the desk. To me is important that my boss is knowing what I am doing and that is it.
My coworkers are not giving me a paycheck that I have to entertain them. Also I do not want to walk on egg shells just to satisfied my coworkers.
I believe you that maybe this is the way of success, but I dont want a that kind of success.
In situation where coworkers are helping each other I will gladly participate but gossip and meaningless chatting with people I dont have anything in common -no way.
My peace do not have a price.

[taurahelms]

For the most part, you are correct. Sometimes you have to play the game. However, I do the thing of not stepping on people etc. and they still ostracized me. I won't beg for their attention. You can be the nicest, affable, and engaging person but it will not prevent clicks. Sometimes our own behavior does give off the wrong impression.

[eggjewla]

Perfect episode ❤thank you for making it. Avoidance is so comfortable but this is such a good reminder to be “out” there while still keeping boundaries and not letting things go too far. Thank u!

[TwiztedHumor]

Let's face it, highschool never ends. The toxic office is the same thing as the typical highschool.

[AmyChoy]

omg i suffered this many times, i always feel my talent is not recognized and why other people less gifted always survive and stayed. I finally got to one company before the pandemic where the director supports me and we learnt to play the politics to create an entire team. But now going to a new place at 42 feels hard.

[marshapelo]

Damn if you do. Damn if you don't.