How Close is Too Close? Ed & Shaun in SHAUN OF THE DEAD

How do you stand up for yourself and set boundaries?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are doing a movie couple (friendship) therapy on Shaun and Ed from Shaun of the Dead. They’re taking a look at healthy and unhealthy boundaries in relationships. Jonathan talks about what happens when you’re afraid to set boundaries or when they're broken and what to do about it. Alan talks about the power of the edit in movies and how Shaun of the Dead puts on a masterclass. Same goes for the impeccable writing and storytelling through jokes!

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: Emily Colton
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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[aceofaces]

"Edgar Wright sometimes beats you over the head with it"
*Clip of Shaun and Ed literally beating a zombie over the head*
I see you, editor. You get a gold star.

[trinaq]

You can tell that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have been friends for their entire lives, really adding to their strong chemistry on screen. Even when Ed has been turned into a zombie, he still gets to hang out with Shaun, play video games all day, and not clean up, so it's not that much different from before.

[patrickmike]

If you're running the whole Cornetto Trilogy, one of the underlying themes I realized is types of friendships. Long time friends in Shaun of the Dead, new friendships in Hot Fuzz and estranged friendships in The World's End

[uncreative]

Shaun of the Dead? Does this mean Hot Fuzz is coming soon?!

[evildoesnotsleep-xb]

Close friendships where you can be your silliest and your truer self are always a pleasure to see on screen

[proudnerd]

One detail I don't see anyone mention: the moment Shaun talks about the break up, Pete backs off a bit and just says to keep it down. Such a little thing that humanizes him

[ms_cartographer]

Honestly, I don't think Pete is as bad as people were supposed to be made to believe. He lives with roommates who don't respect him, and he tried giving Shaun good advice to try and fix his screwed up life.

[Colaschnittchen]

I just love how they flip their roles in end of the world and shawn is the man child and ed is the responsable adult

[BatAmerica]

Thank you for clarifying the difference between a close friendship and enmeshment. We as a society have a toxic expectation that because two people are close, they are romantically involved. While this movie discusses enmeshment and its damaging effects on a relationship, it still teaches us that romance is not the only worthwhile form of love.

[TheSchaef]

My favorite laugh in this movie is when Zombie Bill Nighy moving from the back of his car to the front, and just as Shaun shouts at his mum, "There's nothing left of the man you love in there!", he snaps off the too-loud radio.

[trinaq]

The characters and their relationships are really key to the movie's success. You really care about what happens to them, even before the invasion goes down. Shaun and Philip finally mending fences before Philip succumbs to his injuries is always a tearjerker.

[anjelica]

As someone who had an extremely enmeshed relationship with a Narcissistic mother, I literally did have to run in order to escape her. I moved in with relatives, and it took a while, but I sorted my life out, more or less. I discovered a lot about myself, was finally able to be independent and grow, and….then my mother fell, broke both her hands/wrists, and nobody else was going to help her, bc she alienated everyone else with her behavior. But the almost five years I had away from her was enough so that when I came back to help her, I wasn’t so lost or consumed by the relationship. And trust me, we fought tooth and nail as I established boundaries, and as I learned how to show her love in a way she understands, so that she doesn’t lash out constantly bc of feeling neglected. So it IS possible to grow from an enmeshed relationship. But it is hard, its daily work, it does hurt A Lot of the time. But if both people are willing to work and meet halfway, then it is worth it.

[ladyfoxwf]

Why is nobody mentioning THE HAIR, your hair looked great here Alan

[FishareFriendsNotFood]

Thank you for pointing out that some enmeshed relationships are abusive and that in those circumstances, you don't owe them a conversation

[uncreative]

Also, Jonathan, thank you for mentioning the whole "not wanting to rock the apple cart" thing. It reminded me of a roommate I had in college. I met him at orientation, and we hung out a few times. We ended up spending a year living in the same apartment, and he was a total disaster. He stole my money, would take my headphones, and take other stuff. Between the two of us, I had the car, and he would just randomly ask if we could go grocery shopping at 9 PM. I did it because I realized I was kinda scared of him. I realized halfway through the lease that I couldn't live with him after the lease expired. I'll never forget how one day, he slept through a job interview, and he asked if I would take him. I said no. I'd be lying if I said it was because I grew a pair, but I think because this happened close to when our lease expired that I knew I could suffer no consequences for it. Still, it felt so good to say 'no.' Thank you for teaching that.

[mujicama]

100% agree with how masterful Shaun of the Dead's writing is; it's witty, there's tons of subtle foreshadowing, excellent character conflict and growth...it's just "chef's kiss."

[hatthat]

Literally never noticed this but during the scene where Petes yelling at Shaun and Ed, you can hear car alarms and chaos happening outside which explains why none of the zombies heard their antics. Every time you watch one of these movies you'll find something new and I am all for it

[MTCHSMLN]

I have a friend I made in college, and while we were never as stagnant as either character, I was 100% the Ed character in the picture for a year or so after he got married. We both have ADHD (though I was undiagnosed at the time), and we spent almost every night after work playing videogames into the early morning. I made a point of trying to make myself scarce whenever he was doing anything with his wife, and I would often do chores and help out around their apartment, but people would joke about him being more "married" to me than to his wife, and it was definitely problematic. I didn't realize that until long after, of course. His wife was super emotionally intelligent, and even though she was frustrated, she was incredibly patient in finding ways to gently push him to set boundaries with me. It never felt like she was hurting our friendship (except for one time when there was a fight and a big misunderstanding, but we figured that out), because she wanted her husband to still have me as a friend. I didn't always like not being able to hang out with my friend all the time, but I always wanted his happiness, too, and I always wanted his marriage to be successful. The result was that we finally reached a point where we weren't totally enmeshed, but we could still hang out for hours at a time when it didn't conflict with his marriage. He's still my best friend to this day even though I live two states away and rarely get to see him.

[daltagnan]

Shaun & Ed share some similarity between Wreck-It-Ralph & Vanellope in regards to Shaun/Ralph base their entire life on being the other's friend.

[nerdynina]

I'm a film student and we've studied this movie in multiple classes because it's literally perfect. I've written multiple papers about how and why everything in this movie works as well as all of the references and Easter eggs sprinkled throughout it