Why Decluttering and Downsizing is So Damn Hard

Not motivated? Don’t want to? Resentful? Laura Moore, M.Ed. diagrams the bigger picture of the hot mess of emotions that surface when we dive into our stuff. Understand the trajectory to overwhelm, how we make things harder, and what you can do to calm the waters.

[barbaramcphee]

Emotions, social and preconceived self misconceptions are major factors why so many cannot manage clutter. Excellent video!

[TheDriftwoodlover]

I needed to hear this today. It was learned behavior and I am working on it. I have thinned out my belongings quite nicely but there's still so much. And all that deferred paper clutter ... that's so easy to be overwhelmed by. Thank you for the grace you bring to this emotion-charged subject!

[eleanorbarsic]

"this isn't who you are, it's just what you've learned" powerful words for me. I too see my clutter and messy house as failures and imperfections manifested in disorganization and clutter. My house has filled to a pathway and been reduced back to a mess that I honestly overwhelming to return to, when I arrive home. I love your approach and have such gratitude for you posting your classes and lectures online for me and others to watch and learn from. I also would say "basement" as the place I want to declutter. I asked a friend to come help and after she observed the chore at hand I mentioned how impossible the task was. She responded with a warm smile, "I was just going to say 'this is so manageable'." maybe I have to (no. I know I do need to) see how control plays a role in this process for me. But that thought "this isn't you. This is learned" stills my waters! Thank you.

[WisdomSeekingWriter]

Laura! I am SO happy that you have added a new video to your collection of AMAZINGLY HELPFUL lessons.
Looking over my history, I realized that I first noticed your videos 3 months ago. Life has a way of crowding out things that are not right in front of me. 😕
I am so thankful to find you again and look forward to visiting your videos from the first one you ever posted.
Thank you for reaching out to help those of us who face this emotionally-draining and life-stealing challenge.💕

[yoya]

Every one of these nailed my difficulties with decluttering. I have been pushing through, but the mother of all is self criticism (mother's voice in the head). Why can't I do this, what is wrong with me... Why can everyone else have an immaculate house but not me... on and on. No wonder I feel so tired. Thank you for validating these emotions and for highlighting that decluttering goes way beyond our physical possessions. It applies to so much in how we lead our lives.

[lrow]

I really appreciated the breakdown on the emotions involved with this monumental life issue. I was calling out all the emotions I experience along with your audience and it was so reassuring to know I’m not alone. There’s a tremendous feeling of failure that comes with the inability to jump in, but I have been working on being more forgiving and comforting toward myself and only after taking that approach was I able to start and to see myself making progress. It’s a continuous journey of wavering between negative emotions and reassuring the overwhelmed person inside to feel like it’s possible. Some days I make significant progress and other days I move more slowly, but the more I take action the easier it gets. And the more I recognize and honor my feelings and provide self-comfort and forgiveness, the more I am able to separate from the emotional mesh (not mess) that keeps me stuck. Thank you for acknowledging the emotional struggle in your work. It’s very personal and individual and I’m learning more about myself as I take this journey forward.

[TheVelvetArmy]

So excited to see a new video of yours pop up! Your approach is quite different from many other professionals, and I appreciate you so much!

[jamesbriggs]

My biggest emotion is guilt. Why do i not follow through? Over what I didn't do.
Kathy B.

[roxybuell]

Am 70 now, left Granny's at 16, for many reasons, but this is one. Hated/HATE it STILL, only it's in MY house Now, feel imprisoned 😥😡
Maybe bc of my Beloved Husband of 17 years, left in 2010, with dementia...cannot describe how it affected me.
I've watched Hoarders on tv. end up crying for those folks, bc I get it...feel like you can't get out. But somehow don't want to let go. It's Crazy...Sooo unbelievable.
Anyway, Hoarders calls it a mental illness that results from a loss, death, divorce...guess I'd call it trauma.
Idk what to do. What you say here, sounds like me, shame, self criticism, worthlessness, etc.
I've cried out ever soooo long for help...seems like there is NONE. Most simply say ~just throw it out !!!!
They don't understand...and, I wouldn't want anyone to😥
Don't want to leave it for my 5 children.
Most of my family, doesn't come around and they're all within 10 miles, and, I LOVE 💝THEM SO MUCH, and ALL MY Grandchildren💝.
If it wasn't for the Mustard Seed of Faith in God🙏💙,
I'd have opted out long ago.
I'm basically Alone now...just waiting
It's so good to hear some, have been helped by You.
May God Bless All

[lmajor]

I had never heard of or read of your perspective on all that happens inside as we try to declutter, that cascade of emotions that leads to overwhelm. It has been really insightful for me. Helps in understanding my and my spouse's feelings. Thanks for this and your other videos.

[laurawilde]

I work for approx 4-5 hours and take a nap.
Then I'm ready for more.
Getting the house ready to sell.

[jolynngood]

Your videos have really been helping me as I work to declutter my home as well as my mind. I find, if I let myself do it in bits, I am much more successful in my decluttering. I am almost done with my pantry. All I have to do is organize what I did not get rid of but moved on to a few other areas first. The reason for that is because I have two shelves of cookbooks in my pantry. I am so not ready to go through those and donate or give away the majority of them. I will get there as I apply the things I am learning from you. Thank you.

[galwayaga]

I love your approach, finding it applicable to other parts of my life too... Thank you!

[jennygibbons]

"No pretty containers can solve this problem! " Wow! The YouTube container junkies with the Dollar Tree/Poundland /Ikea obsession and all just for show cos I can see just 3 books and a mini cactus or some beautifully folded hand towels. Or DIY shelves - half a day of cutting, drilling and fixing - for some candles and a Konmari bonsai 😨 I remember the Benetton stores started this nonsense in the 80s - you could never see/find anything and the staff spent the whole time refolding and re-boxshelving stuff we all pulled out and left in a pile from frustration. Can't recall the last time I saw a Benetton? I'm now working on real life stuff where I can see what I need to use regularly and quickly, dispose of the unwanted/unnecessary and very few storage containers. Getting there slowly with Clutter Clarity. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[NigarButterfly]

I have accumulated things in the last 5 years. And now i am thinking i need to downsize. I cannot keep thing hold me back from spending time outdoors, or invite people in, as it has been clutter in the passed few month, just moved to a new place 2 month ago, and because of work have no time to put things away, and also very limited space for all i have and want to have.
I grew up in another country, very poor, not having beautiful things around. Having to wear one dress for years.
I am 45 now, no family yet. My dream is to host, invite friends over and serve them beautiful dinners with china, silverware, crystal, lace, ect...i finally have my own place for the first time in my life. It is smaller than i wanted, I dont have room for all the things I have accumulated, and able to display and use. Also am a creative craft person. I dont have a whole room for my crafts. Turning a sun room i to my craft/office. No formal dining room.
Should i get rid of all those beautiful things i collected, or keep and hope i can use them one day?
I also dont want to drag things around with me, I have moved 2 times in the last 5 month. I believe because of the past and emotional attachment to things its hard to let go of things, especially because you didnt get chance to use them, but paying extra storage doesnt make sence, as its a waste of money, and for that money i can always go to estate sales and find more stuff. What to do in this situation?

[nxjitki]

Spot on! You know me SO well. Thank you.

[vintagegirl]

Our kitchen table has to stay clear because we eat breakfast and dinner there every day, wonderful family time. The problem I have is the closet, too many clothes. I get rid of them and then go out and fill the closet again. A habit I am trying to break. Thanks for this video, very helpful.

[smallstudiodesign]

By the time one gets to the point of “feeling like it”, one may be deceased — with the children/ grandchildren decluttering the place alongside making funeral arrangements. Think of the children. Ask yourselves if that’s the burden you want to place upon them & if the bad memories of having to harrumph all your consumer debt load out like sanitation workers is how you want them to spend their days — rather than dealing with the grief of loss in a dignified manner & spending that energy / time planning a proper celebration of life instead.

[seraficaweis]

Your voice or the way you say it...has calming effect..it does not make us tense .

[vvelvettearss]

Good Lord this was cathartic ! Now I know really what it actually is I'm trying to do !