How to make sure your relationship lasts after years of being together | Adam Lane Smith

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Here's how to make sure your relationship lasts after years of being together. Because great relationships don't just happen. You've got to build a relationship that lasts. Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith shows you his best method for keeping your relationship together.

The science shows there's one major way to keep a relationship strong through the years. If you want to make sure your relationship lasts, use Adam's must-see guide to build a great relationship. Because your love can last if you approach it the scientific way. Adam will show you how.

This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.

You want to make sure your relationship lasts. Here's how to do it. Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith presents the best scientific evidence about how to maintain a relationship through the years. Most people have never heard of this tip before, but if you want to make your relationship last, you need to learn it.
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[shawntco]

I've found this even works with plain ol' friendships! Just sitting around talking week after week is boring. Doing something like visiting a place we haven't been before as a group re-invigorates the friendship. Especially if there's a little bit of physical challenge involved.

[katelandsmith]

I think I need the problem solving end first, in my relationships. I need to know someone isn't going to drop me the first time we disagree.

I can't trust them enough to get close without this.

Whenever I've had the warm feelings, and opened up, the other person immediately reacts in a repulsed manner(talking about local proximity. Long distance has a couple of allies, but long distance isn't reliable)

It's happened over and over. I need a blank space, to work things out, and safe distance to decide if I can trust someone.

[Etherealvioletco]

Love this!! Solving problems create a different kind of love 💗

[krisb]

It seems like most of the things my husband and i do together are things that build vasopressin bonds. We build models of military vehicles my husband doesnt have a steady hand so he can do the gluing but I do the like detail so we can make them look as real as possible, we also work on real vehicles together. We love mini golfing, we also occasionally play video games together which is slightly stressful because I am just horrible I played a little as a kid but by the time I was 10 I stopped, so he has to work extra hard to keep me and himself alive lol it definitely builds team work skills for us.

[jennifergillis]

You are a blessing.

Please expand on this.

As a person who is involved with someone who has an exwife constantly in his life, they are ‘bonding’ over the stress of co-parenting.

How to manage this?

Thank you

[sf]

It does work and having weekly or monthly meetings to discuss shared problems and shared solutions is very helpful.

[MAI-fvux]

So when my cousin and his wife started to feel less pleased in their marriage, they went on a journey to have a second baby. It brought on awareness that she needed to solve some physical problems to conceive. Eventually after a few years second baby was born. Looking from afar, it seems they're happier now, bonding over daily household tasks, and avoiding the old problems with the busy-Ness of two kids and a new puppy and a home renovation. This is Vaso bonding too isnt it? Imo though it seems shaky if their having kids was to solve the problem of connecting? Tbh my cousin was the type (and still is) to only work, neglect personal self care (a bit over stressed daily), and doesn't know how to do anything to care for his body, or mental stress, just work and be a dad and make sure his Mom is ok (she lives next door.) He loves his family very much. I guess I worry if this works for them, does it mean, there isn't really an "issue"¿ or is this a different kind of bonding?

[Ed-hzho]

Can we learn more about this? I think there’s value in this.

[duanrossow]

Hey Adam, great video. I just recently had a huge argument with my girlfriend regarding detachment and coldness due to us desperately trying to be celibate till marriage. And it was quite amazing the moment that argument was resolved, it was just a flood of love and passion. And it is exactly how you are describing it here. After resolving stress together there is a peak in affection/ drive to be together.

I would love if you could elaborate a bit more on the chemical processes taking place and their interplay with each other. Thanks a lot! Much love from South Africa! 😁🙌🏼

[thomas]

Would love a video on vasopressing bonding when distance is starting to form between two people, but you live in different countries so all interaction with them is online.