What Do You Love Me For?

Sometimes, in a cosy moment, one lover might ask another: What do you love me for? It's a moment of huge and philosophical importance: what is a good answer to this complicated question? There are a range of things one should never say - and one or two that will stand the best chance of cementing love.

FURTHER READING

“Sometimes, and it often happens in bed, we face an acute test at the hands of a lover to whom we have pledged our affections. We are asked, with little warning, and in a serious tone: ‘What do you love me for?’ Few moments in a relationship can be as philosophical as this – or as dangerous. A good answer has the power to confirm and enhance the union; a bad one could blow it apart. As we try to make headway, we immediately recognise that we can’t simply say ‘everything’. We’re being asked to make choices – and our love will be deemed sincere to the extent that the choices feel accurate to their recipients…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Noelle Smith Design

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[theschooloflifetv]

What do you think is the best answer to the question, "what do you love me for?" Let us know in the comments below and be sure to subscribe to the channel and turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.

[rowana.]

“We like because, but we love despite.”

[manhkhaleba]

If someone asks you the why-like-me question, he/she is probably doubting about the value of themselves and how you see them as a partner. What he or she really wants to hear, therefore, is not only what physical and mental characteristics they have, but also, more importantly, the very feelings you have being around them.
So, express your feelings, tell them how special they are, not as a person, but as your lover. Tell them what they means to you. How your life have changed when you two became a partner. Give them the feeling that their presence in your life is invaluable . Make them feel safe and protected under the sincere love of yours.

[graelonsalvador]

"Ever fell in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up" - Neil Gaiman

[ChromicLights]

Being loved can be scary when you’re not used to it. It can feel overwhelming or like you’re expected to be some type of way all the time. What if he loves me for how I carry myself when I’m happy only? What if he’s frightened when I’m feeling anxious? To feel comfortable in love is incredibly hard for me. I’m always worried that the person who claims they love me is not seeing what I see. This video is the epitome of what someone like me needs to help comfort that anxiety.

[arcmeditation]

“The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.” - Gilbert K. Chesterton

[humanvildan]

When my nephew was about 4 or 5 while playing suddenly he turned to me and said "i love you". I was surprised and said "why". He said "why do you ask? It is like that". There is no need for any reason if you just love a person❤

[luqcrusher]

I understand the point of the video in that it encourages a perceptive, articulate form of verbal love, but I just want to caution others to not be disappointed if your partner is not as articulate as this video deems ideal. Your partner may have difficulty pointing out specific attributes about yourself in endearing ways, not because they don’t love you deeply but perhaps that “words” is not their love language.

[czarinaluna]

“It's little things that only I know. Those are the things that make you mine.”

[beautyintheeats]

This channel is providing what would be thousands of dollars of therapy, for free. Thank you so much for helping me better understand human behavior— this should be taught from a young age.

[altagamaenlacama]

My high school sweetheart would say how much he liked the lines that would form around my mouth when I smiled, and would compliment me on things like my sparkly purple eyeshadow. It was really sweet. I felt very seen without quite being able to realize that that’s what was happening because that feeling of being seen was hidden under this immense confusion because I didn’t know how to digest someone loving me so purely and so much. I couldn’t totally take the compliments and expressions of affection. I was criticized and humiliated by my family for my experimental fashion sense and my body. It’s nice, now, to be able to savor the sweetness my first love was offering me, but it’s also bittersweet.

[decembersunita]

Many people are alone even when they are in a relationship.

[macchiatodimila]

Being in love with me is a challenge, I've learned, because the person in love has to compete against my love for isolation.

[UIMGodzilla]

I asked this too an ex, who in my mind at the time was out of my league so I genuinely wanted to know why and maybe get some validation and confidence in my self that I could be worthy of this person, in hindsight I definitely wasn't in the right mind set going into the relationship, anyway she refused to answer the question. Then later on when we did brake up, she brought up when I asked this, and she said the reason she didn't answer because she couldn't think of a single reason, this wasn't just something she said in the anger of a breakup because the breakup was actually really calm and we both knew it wasn't working, but when she told me that it was probably the most painful thing anyone has ever said to me. Anyway 3 years later and I'm now in a healthy relationship and I don't even have to ask this question she'll just randomly tell me why she loves me.

[davidcordero]

"True love is based on knowledge, not only on how we feel about the other person".

[wyattmeyer]

I think you often realize you’re in love when you’re not with the person and something special happens, but it doesn’t feel as special without them there to capture it with you.

[tiamelancholyjeoncockity]

I often think ‘do I actually love him or just the thought of him’💀

[Abi-hqlm]

"What do you love me for?"

"Yes."

[pgplaysvidya]

"you make me a better person"

or

"i feel safe around you"

[thecharismalab]

Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there — George Burns