The Harsh Truth About Being Single in Your 30s

In this episode we get up close and personal! Let's talk about being single in your 30s as a woman! Why does this bother everyone else? Why is it anyone's business? And if it does bother you, as someone going through it, how to navigate this situation. Join in xx

To make it easier:
00:00:00 Navigating Societal Pressure of Being Single in Your 30s
00:02:37 The Impact of Marital Pressure on Divorce Rates
00:05:00 Rethinking Marriage Timelines and Societal Pressures
00:07:22 The Power of Patience and Faith
00:12:09 Navigating Marriage and Religious Values
00:16:23 Defining Personal Choices in Relationships
00:18:45 Embrace Self-Growth in Your 30s and Being Single

Who am I:
I am Dr. Sheen Gurrib and I want to play my part in supporting the next generation of empowered women. I am an entrepreneur, ex-strategy consultant, adjunct lecturer and content creator and the first Mauritian girl to have gone to both Oxford and Cambridge universities.

[stanleymartins-os]

Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[adamabubaker]

there is a hadith which says "What has come to you was never meant to miss you, and what has missed you was never meant to come to you" can be explained as follows:

This hadith emphasizes the concept of qadar (divine decree) in Islam. It teaches that everything that happens in a person's life, whether good or bad, is preordained by Allah. Whatever befalls a person was always meant to happen, and whatever does not happen to them was never destined for them. It highlights the importance of having trust in Allah’s plan, accepting life’s events with patience, and understanding that nothing happens by chance or outside of Allah's will. This belief brings comfort and helps a person deal with challenges and uncertainties in life.

[DJ-xerc]

I am a doctor and at 33, I was told my standards are too high when I said I’m looking for someone college educated. Who do you think you are that you won’t swipe right on a builder was asked by someone who thought had my best interests! While I respect all jobs, there is also a matter of commonality and shared interests. And they won’t enjoy my company either. I did end up going on dates with a couple of guys with blue collar jobs. Our interests were completely different. They all gladly ghosted me. I can’t be home to care for the man when he’s coming back after a hard days work, I will be setting off for my night shift!
I met a lovely man at 33, and it is my first relationship. I’m glad I persevered.

If you are waiting for the right person, keep looking, persevere. One right person who gets us is all we need❤

[Star_]

For me personally, it’s hard because I’ve never ever been in a relationship before so I feel left out and have nothing to compare. I have no idea I would be happier single or in a relationship

[shahnazparvin]

I'm 26 and already worried because of the societal pressure. Thank you for the talk ❤

[DevVyas-odyo]

you probably shouldn’t read the book Magnetic Aura if you’re cool with missing out on how attraction really works.

[sunvavachi]

I'm in my late 30s and if I look back. I am glad that I did not get married in my 20s. It allowed me to work on myself. And I agree that we should not lower standards. However if one is looking for a relationship and I could go back, I wish I was looking more around 31-32 to proactively look. I don't want kids but I find, especially in the desi community older guys they so far from my experience are so picky OR they marry outside of their race. I find myself looking outside now as long as they respect my culture, and many do. I feel I've been focusing on myself and it's only so long when we begin to feel lonely. I feel happy in myself but want to now invest that with someone and grow. It's a tough topic but this is how I feel. It's great your brought these topics up and also men should be more comfortable to talk these deeper topics. ❤ And women, definitely make sure you feel secure and are earning (if you wish to be). It helps boost your own confidence which helps florish in a relationship! Or even workout. Have control in something that is you.

[rilwanoyekoya]

I'm so proud of you, Dr Sheen. You spoke eloquently with taqwa. You're indeed an asset. Look forward to meeting you one day.

Single life is preparatory stage for successful marriage. And, i think you've judiciously utilized the stage by being a PhD holder at somewhat very young age.

Once again, i'm absolutely PROUD of you, Dr. Sheen. We share the same school of thoughts. That's why I'm using my single life to develop physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually until i meet the lady i 'click' with, InshaAllah.

[LemonGardenWives]

Shereen, salam, your warm bread story made me smile😃—it’s so spot on💥 ! In my personal life and in my work with wives, I’ve seen that waiting for the right time doesn’t lead to perfect marriages (let’s be real, no such thing exists!) but to ones that feel sweeter than the rest and zestier sometimes 🍋(I know personally three marriages like these).So here’s to warm bread and a little sweet in life!" !

[philosophyoftruthx]

Marriage isn't the be all end all. In fact, I know many more newly married couples who are miserable, but they have to put up a front. The fact that woman feel pressurised and men don't (or not by much) is telling of society and where their mentality is at.

Most men don't even see marriage as a benefit, becasue they tend to lose out more if there is a divorce (not to say that all men experience this).
I'm not going to lie, but also I feel some South Asian men tend to be pressured but it's mainly their mums urging them to have children.

The only pressure I have is to be successful in what I do and travel often. Do more of what ignites my soul. That's it.

[kessocamara]

This topic was so enlightening, thank you so much ❤

[UmmYusuf]

Allahumma barik you have beautiful energy and confidence, continue being you. The unwanted advice / comments don't stop once your married, so it's best to avoid people that feel entitled. Your loved ones will want the best for you and will accept your views, that's all that you need. Wish you all the best sis

[fayzai]

Girl I have to be honest I married at 29/30. I am very lucky to have found someone who was not already divorced. Unless a woman is doing a career that takes a long time to qualify as such as medicine. Please don’t wait to long.. the longer you wait the harder it gets much harder, the pool gets smaller and our fertility as women does go down. Be careful about waiting to long.

[Lisa_MikMak]

I think it's badass and strong to wait when you find the RIGHT person and not marrying the wrong one 😉

[sabrinahandsome]

As a married woman in her 30s, I can’t imagine being this way with my single friends. I think I got pretty lucky with my husband so I wouldn’t have useful advice to give anyway 😂. I am so happy that my friends have grown up and have standards now which means they aren’t making the same mistakes as they did in their 20s.
There’s beauty in singleness, no matter what age.

[chesschessable]

There's nothing wrong with being single at any age...

[maïa_k]

Sending you much love. I relate to everything you said so much, litterally everything ! And I love how you articulated it ❤❤❤

[stefanstojanovski]

Also, a friend of mine also mid fifties got pressured to get married. He waited and waited until the right person came. Found her, married and after 10 years, the magic has waned and showing the usual cracks seen in so many long term relationships. I love being single, solo, but I can see how my adequately married friends can see what they are missing. Im not single to anoy them, its just free and unencumbered and I can work anywhere. Another friend my age chose childfree and single. He said he is too arrogant to have a long term relationship and deliberately makes his home so basic, most women would not want to settle there even though he has plenty of funds to upgrade to white picket fence.

[muneebsandhu]

Social media has really harmed the institution of marriage. Now, all of us are having unrealistic expectations from the opposite gender. Hence, being unmarried at 30 is a new normal. And all are talking about the scarcity of quality stuff in the dating market. This wasn't the case with the previous generation of couples. Future looks absolutely dark.

[taridean]

Reality and biology will never change for one's standards. The results of those standards will show themselves no matter what you tell yourself. It's that simple.