Is KRISTOFF the PERFECT MAN? Relationship Therapist talks FROZEN 2

In Frozen 2, Kristoff is able to set aside his needs during Anna’s moment of crisis and be there for her. This is an amazing demonstration of Shelving Your Agenda - a conflict resolution technique often taught by relationship therapists.

Licensed Therapist Jonathan Decker breaks down what it means to shelve your agenda, how Kristoff does this - even after feeling rejected and Lost in the Woods (complete with awesome power ballad to express his emotions), and what we can learn from it.

Jonathan also says Kristoff might be the perfect man. Alan agrees, based solely on the similarity of their hair styles.

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
Location provided by: Kels and Stephanie Goodman

[warriorcatthings]

"You can't disagree with an emotion"

My mom begs to differ

[thelastasmrchannel]

"My love is not fragile" Man, I don't remember that line from the movie but given this new context it's so AMAZING 🥺

[rbean]

"you can't disagree with emotions" well let me introduce you to my mother

[ebonysilvrwhite]

This reminds me of something I saw on reddit that my boyfriend and I are trying to implement. It's where one of you is upset or going through something and the other will ask, "Do you need help fixing it or do you just need me to listen."

[loverlei]

Kristof saying "my love is not fragile" Reminds me of the second date that never was in my life. I had just reunited with an old guy friend and we hit it off immediately. We made plans for a real second date but it was cancelled due to an extreme blizzard. I was crushed and told him my disappointment thinking to myself he wouldn't reschedule (many past hurts from other guys). He replied, "What did you think this was a one time thing? We'll see each other again." I was like the Grinch that day. My heart grew 10x bigger. And guess what? I married him. We're on year 10.

[Iamtk]

I actually really appreciate Kristoff saying "I'm not really comfortable with that." He is gently but firmly expressing a boundary! Sven and his wagon are basically everything he has (not to mention his best friend/pet), and he's not comfortable with the idea of Elsa taking them. But he /is/ comfortable with it when he is there as well.

[Jemini]

"what do you need?" "My love is not fragile". Swoon! Kristoff might just be my fave Disney love interest ever!

[trenae]

Kristoff's "I'm not comfortable with that" is even perfect in its own right. He's not saying "No" he's not saying "That's not a good idea". He's saying, "I don't feel right about this." The funny me says he doesn't want Sven going into danger without him. The serious part says, "I'm not comfortable with you facing this alone". So when Ana voices the same thing, essentially, he's able to step forward and say "I'll Drive" without wholly overriding Elsa's wishes; rather he's supporting Ana's proposal.

[caidalee]

I gasped out loud in the theater at “I’m here. What do you need?”. After 25 years of watching movies, I’ve grown up with men “coming to the rescue” and saying things like “I’ve got this, stand back” my entire life. These things were said to women who didn’t need any help (usually until that very moment) by men who were always the main love interest. This “stand back, a man is here to handle the tough stuff, so you don’t have to worry” attitude was normal, even if you didn’t like it. To hear a male love interest tell his female love interest that he’ll follow her lead because she obviously has a plan and he just wants to help her succeed? It was eye-opening. I’m so happy children are growing up with this sort of love interest instead of the shut-up-and-kiss-me ones I did.

[KayGee_yt]

I'm not attracted to Kristoff but hearing "I'm here, what do you need?" In the theater was SO sexy. I appreciate this video

[Nyankotaku.Factory]

He even is the first disney guy to "ask" if it was ok to kiss her. He is a great exemple to show how we all should act went starting relationship. First kiss should be asks for...not forced or by surprised.

[nacienunbarco]

The fact that the perfect guy was raised by a bunch of rocks says a lot about Disney’s portrayal of parents.

[misspriss]

"I'm here; what do you need?" Can you imagine if everybody had that attitude toward their significant others? It would revolutionize relationships.

[DrMaikaSteinborn]

Great analysis! When I watched the movie, my favorite part was also when Kristoff says "I'm here, what do you need."

[skyhideaway]

FINALLY someone who appreciates Kristoff as a character! I've always seen people praising Eugene or Naveen, even Hans for some reason, but people hardly recognize Kristoff as a worthy character. I liked him from the first movie itself. He was the voice of reason to Anna's impulsive and kinda stupid nature. He was pissed at her the first time, but he admired the drive in her and also respected her privacy. Even though Elsa was dangerous, he let Anna go to her alone and only came to her rescue after the fight. Obviously, that didn't benefit Anna, but he did what was right. He also respects the fact that she already loves someone, even though he has feelings for her too. I felt like it was a bit weird that Anna immediately turned to Kristoff and accepted him after realizing Hans was a dick. But the second time I watched it, we see throughout the movie that Anna did show signs of liking Kristoff more, being more at home with him and even questioning the fact that she doesn't know Hans as well.

Frozen 2 is one of my least favorite movies, but Kristoff is the only factor that I really liked in it. Anna's and Elsa's sibling dynamic isn't really that good and the whole family history was kinda boring to me. Kristoff was the only sane man in crazytown. He's a perfect example of a man who doesn't live by toxic masculine standards.

[The]

Kristoff is an underrated character because he is overshadowed by the larger than life Anna and Elsa. Frozen is such a big female empowerment film that you forget that Kristolf is a bad ass in his own right.

[morganqorishchi]

"My love is not fragile" is the best line ever uttered by a Disney love interest. It's really interesting because if you read the tie-in book A Frozen Heart, Hans is great at imitating what people need, and he understands from Anna's behavior and background that she needs a good listener and someone who cares, but it's just a means to an end. It's a way to get closer to the crown, and he finds it obnoxious to continue to feign interest in what she likes and exhausting to try to balance acting in a way that appeals to her and to the other royal delegates present. Kristoff finds it frustrating, but it's genuine and his reasons for trying to be supportive are based in real love rather than in getting to the crown, it's something he keeps going at, and he remains 100% there for Anna throughout the whole movie. Meanwhile Hans, who was just trying to be whatever it took to get her to marry him, immediately bails on her when she needs him and it would serve his goal better to just leave her to die.

The really clever thing is that the tie-in books uses the same line, repeatedly, for Hans and Kristoff's internal monologues: "Anna needs me." But when Hans thinks it, he thinks of it as a weakness on her part and a thing he can exploit. When Kristoff thinks it, he immediately goes to 'so how do I help her?' Same thought, wildly different intentions.

[GirlMeetsSunshine]

I love that they gave Kristoff a song! It shows that boys and men can very well feel emotions and be vulnerable AND comfortable with that. It does so much for the perceiption of men in general. We deserve a fully mature and emotionally available man in our lives (or partner in general). I'm settling for nothing less.

[winterinbloom]

My jaw literally dropped when I heard Kristoff say "I'm here. What do you need?" That was the first time I've heard such a thing in a movie. Generally any other time a woman is rushing to accomplish something extremely important and time sensitive her significant other is only there to delay her or suggest she is losing her marbles due to stress, reguardless or whether or not that stress is great or relatively minor.

[magpie]

I mean, he was raised by the "relationship experts"