What Are You Worth? Getting Past Status Anxiety. | Alain De Botton | Big Think

What Are You Worth? Getting Past Status Anxiety
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Writer Alain De Botton says that status anxiety is more pernicious and destructive than most of us can imagine, and recommends getting out of the game altogether.
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ALAIN DE BOTTON:

Alain de Botton was born in Zurich, Switzerland in 1969 and now lives in London. He is a writer of essayistic books that have been described as a 'philosophy of everyday life.' He’s written on love, travel, architecture and literature. His books have been bestsellers in 30 countries. Alain also started and helps to run a school in London called The School of Life, dedicated to a new vision of education. Alain's latest book is titled Religion for Atheists and is published in the Netherlands, Italy, Korea, Turkey and Brazil in 2011 and in the UK, US and other territories in 2012.

Alain started writing at a young age. His first book, Essays in Love [titled On Love in the US], was published when he was twenty-three.
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TRANSCRIPT:

Alain de Botton: Status anxiety is one of the most pernicious, wide-spread of all diseases. It can ruin large sections of our lives and a good approach to life means having a philosophy that we can deal with it and recognize the problem for what it is.

Look, as soon as you’ve finished college, what starts to matter is what you do in life. The first question becomes, what do you do? And according to how you answer that question, people are either incredibly pleased to see you or make a run for it. In other words, how clever and nice and friendly and, you know, sympathetic you are ceases to matter in most social occasions. We live in a world surrounded by snobs. What is a snob?--A snob is someone who takes a small part of you and uses that to judge the whole of you. And the dominant snobbery nowadays is job snobbery.

This is a deeply frightening vision. Partly it’s frightening because most of us are unable to bring our true richness of character and personality in line with our business card. The business card does not fully reflect who we are. We are being judged, we feel, in a humiliating way. We feel there is so much in us that has not got an expression in capitalism. You know, capitalism is a machine that recognizes outward financial, external achievement. And most of us carry all kinds of richness which we are unable to translate into that language. There are very few of us whose full complexity of character has been brought out, as it were, on their business card. Most of us, what is special about us requires – it requires love. And by love, I mean imagination. It requires someone to say, even though that person looks a bit, it could be anything boring, uninteresting, unimportant, dull, actually that’s because I’m only looking at them in the first 30 seconds. They need more time.

So we need charity and we need complexity. And the cruelty of the modern world, the cruelty of New York City, for example, so this is a city where people give you 30 seconds and not much longer, if you’re not careful. And that’s very challenging, it cuts people up inside. It literally drives you crazy.

Directed / Produced by

Jonathan Fowler & Elizabeth Rodd

[RichardOrtizROCommunication]

Wow, what a observation: "Status Anxiety is the frustration of not being able to bring our full richness of our character and our complexity in line with our business card." Nicely said.

[curseofsasuke]

It’s just easier for the mind to make quick judgments. It’s just laziness. It takes a great deal of energy to be compassionate and be charitable towards others.

[hlacoille]

Is this the voice from The School of Life videos?

[demep.airless]

"A snob is somebody who takes a small part of you, and uses it to judge the whole of you."

[millachipmunk]

His accent helped me agree with what he was saying

[FlorisDVijfde]

Could not have said it better. Like Tyler Durden said, you're not your job.

[wiiwhisperer]

Was on the fast track, boards of multiple companies, donating the rest of me to college committees. Decided to stop working toward the dream and start living it. Cancer taught me patience and humility. Constant chemo is teaching me to appreciate my loving family and caring community. Someone else can sell their soul to the corporate overlord. I finally know what living is.

[elky]

Where do you live?
Where were you educated?
What did/do you study?

All questions people ask to assess your status.

[aliciacroft]

I love this mans voice.. his voice has the warmth and complexity of character he speaks of.
Its also rather sexy

[zootsoot]

As the cliche goes, inside every loser there is a winner waiting to come out, which also correspondingly means inside every winner there is a loser waiting to come out. To be a full human being you have to integrate these opposites and then you can become a real winner, who wishes the best for yourself and everyone around you.

[ArtofBliss]

Thank Goodness... I don't care what people think! I usually don't tell people what I do or where I live until I get to know them. Keep in mind, people who love you will always love you! People who judge you don't know the meaning of love.

[Helena]

Lovely comments! So true and very nice to always try to remember before you loose your brain, as he rightly said.

[romans-cytq]

If more people were like you The World would be a Better Place..

[lcmarina]

I know it’s not right, but I feel like I am being forced into being a snob since moving from a small town to a big city. People weren’t like that where I am from so I never learned to judge people for superficial things, but here in the big city it’s the norm and you almost can’t get past it. Who you surround yourself with really limits where you can go & what you can do. It sucks! I also feel like I have to hold myself to a higher beauty/class standard when before I could just relax around people.

[geppegep]

yup, you cant really change the world but if you "change" yourself and be the change you want to see in the world that really helps aswell as inspire other people

[hollo]

he has just put what i was thinking into alot better and more elegant way than myself

[libertynerd]

"A snob is somebody who takes a small part of you, and uses it to judge the whole of you."

Take note, those who persecute in YouTube comments. Especially of the religious variety. 

[ekatasatya]

sense of lower worth prevents from ego boost, as we dont live only for material reality ..

[qanatuka]

i agree
and i will tell a secret about me : i have always used that method without me even knowing it has a name or description, i work in an institution ( health care)
and i have failed to pass the exam that guarantee me getting the degree required to ascend in job level, many people were talking negatively, i didn't give a shit, i proved my self, now im am the director of more than 20 employees who majority of them have higher degree than me .

[petestrat]

OMG this guy has nailed it! That was awesome!