All About Depersonalization and Derealization Disorders

In this video, Dr Mike Lloyd answers subscriber questions about the nature of depersonalization and derealization disorders (Depersonalisation / Derealisation). This includes discussion about cause of these conditions, diagnosis, treatment and strategies for managing them. Thanks to Fuzzy Butt Portraits and Drawings (find them on Facebook) for the introduction animation.

References from the video include Polyvagal Theory by Dr Stephen Porges:

The Window of Tolerance by Dr Janina Fisher:

"A Logical Way of Being – the reality of dissociative identity disorder and other complex dissociative conditions”

"Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy

[elisem]

For me, life has been dreamlike. i feel as if I've lost years of my life. I feel like nothing is real and I'm not connected. Disconnected. It's so nice to hear you speak of derealization, it feels so good to have someone understand what I've been going through.

[theworkinprogresssystem]

Sometimes it feels so much easier to dissociate than to feel the trauma happening again.

[rylealatta]

The "Why don't more professionals know, " chapter infuriated me. I have a huge suspicion that I have DID, DDNOS, or OSDD. Something. I keep bringing it up to my psychiatrist, psychologist, and therapist and NONE of them have any idea what to do for me. I've felt between a rock and a hard place for two years. At this point it feels like malpractice and the fact that it's not a requirement to graduate with a degree in the mental health field without learning about trauma and how it can affect the brain and mental health (I'm not exactly sure how it works don't come for me) is incredibly maddening. To the point where I break down from stress knowing that SOMETHING more than just depression and anxiety is happening to me and have all my doctors with their thumbs up their 🍑es. Especially when I've been BEGGING them for help for TWO years.

[scotchvelo]

This is very helpful, thank you. The cruel irony is that for me, these symptoms are more traumatic than any trauma I ever experienced, especially when it's 24/7 for days, weeks or months. Also, these awful symptoms can also come with feelings of deep despair and hopelessness, feeling hopelessly broken, etc, and that all adds to the melange of horror of the whole thing.

[weaversystem]

Oh how I wish I’d seen this video 8 years ago. I spent over a year with severe symptoms of both. Many doctors, neurologist, and even therapists had no answers for me and I came dangerously close to giving up on life altogether. Thankfully it started to fade and while I still always felt in chaos, it was livable. When things started to get worse again, several years later, I refused to give up this time. I researched tirelessly and finally started finding answers. Then I found a wonderful trauma therapist who confirmed what I thought and gave me even more answers to questions that had loomed over me for a lifetime. Thank you so much for what you do! This is another wonderful video and I pray it finds its way to someone in turmoil and gives them some much needed answers and relief.

[claytonheals]

This is so spot on! Thank you for making these videos. My bachelor of Science was in psychology, but I rarely heard about depersonalization and derealization. I felt them so strongly as a child of abuse in the home in many ways constantly and being medicated so young. Also being gay American in the 1990's and in the Catholic Church, I just couldn't face it. I'd even try to drive home at a 16 year old and couldn't find my house. I was terrified b/c it didn't feel real. I'd also not be able to look in the mirror as a teen and young adult b/c I thought someone else was in the mirror. I couldn't pick myself out in pics at times. I hid it well and as I came out in 2004 and went to college it got a bit better. Even with dissociative or drugs like LSD etc I understood reality somehow better due to constant reality testing. Thank You! The way you explain this seems novel and impressive.

[bs]

I experience this a lot but not when I am driving as I love this activity and it symbolises freedom for me. Depersonalisation and derealisation comes when I feel trapped.

[ponetium]

Something what is the most distressing is not the personalization and derealization, but coming down from them and realizing things are real. It is so scary!

[crutnacker]

Thank you for these videos. I find them very easy to understand, very informative and very helpful.
I would like to add with depersonalisation that the 'floating above' aspect is not always the case. I understand that dissociation stems from the freeze aspect of fight/ flight/ freeze. The situation is you can't fight & you can't physically flee (eg your a child) so the only option left is to flee mentally (& your body remains relatively motionless). You can mentally flee outwards so there's the 'floating outside the body' experience or you can flee inwardly, which is my experience. It's hard for me to explain but is more like you're in a cave or far away inside with your body & what's going on visible at the entrance.

[vanwin]

I personally know this Doctor knows what he is talking about. It's very good to know somebody out there has spent time and effort to understand what happens to us.

[raayna]

We have experienced dp/dr to some degree our entire life. Have many memories of being in one place but seeing our body in a complete different location. We have never felt connected to this body. One of the main reason we never wanted to see a MH professional was the belief we would be labelled "crazy" and locked away. It took several session and a lot of work by the therapist to convince us that "craz" was a verb not a medical diagnosis. Thanks for the very good explanation of these disorders! ~Jessi

[gretahunt]

This has been so helpful, I finally understand what’s been happening to me my entire life. I go in and out of DP/DR, the episodes can last a day to months. I’ve had them for as long as I can remember and I’ve come to learn some triggers but often it just comes on out of nowhere. I experience DR more than DP but I’ve had a mix of both for ages. Being in the episodes is very distressing, there’s a constant sense of foreboding and confusion and just wanting to break out of it.
I’ve spoken to therapists about what I experience to the best of my abilities but they never say anything, they just seem puzzled by what I’m trying to describe. It’s taken me years to put words to what I experience. For instance: Trying to tell someone that you don’t feel like your parents are your actual parents, just doesn’t even begin to explain what I’m actually feeling. It’s so hard to describe. Or that I feel like I’m suddenly tiny and the room has grown bigger. Just typing the words feels wrong and makes me anxious. It’s the weirdest thing.

[lambchoppyboy]

Wonderful explanations. When under severe stress, I was reading a book and my hands were not my own. I even asked my husband if they had changed. This was right before a memory surfaced.

[emilyledbetter]

You explained this very well! I’m quite young and going through this and I’m not quite sure how to feel anymore

[sadisticsprinkles]

This is a very well-made and informative video about dpdr! I’ve been experiencing a mild 24/7 dpdr for years. The cause is probably due to multiple recurring small-ish traumas in my life, but I’ve also half-way convinced myself that I have some sort of brain tumor that’s going to kill me in two years. I actually went on a medication for a period of time that “grounded” me and, after that, I decided that I prefer feeling like nothing is real. My life is pretty boring and stressful due to my mental health issues and home life, so it’s kind of a blessing that I’m able to escape it in a way. I bet that I’ll want this gone once I find myself in a happier place though

[nytrosalad]

omg I can't tell you how much this video helped. I've had these symptoms for so long and I've had a really hard time pin pointing them. Thank you
edit: 6 minutes in and my mind is still blown

[DaycieEyre]

Yay! First one here! You are amazing Dr. Mike 💖 So happy multiplicity&me connected our communities! 💖

[bugbean]

Each and every mental health professional should have at least the knowledge you provide in your videos about dissociation. I´m still overwhelmed by all the damage and even more trauma on top because of all the wrong diagnoses and treatment - this really has to stop, there has to be more knowledge and training concerning trauma related issues!
I too I started very early to "train" myself to always look at certain points or objects in the same order when noticing that I feel disorientated to ground myself and come back to the therapy room. Environment consistency really does help a lot!
Thank you for this amazing video - once again!

[ShintoSE]

You done it again mr! Thanks and well done awesome job. we purchased the haunted self book and got the body remembers, dao to fully healing, one on complex ptsd, a couple of vagus nerve books and more. so finding these really helpful.
we just got bit carried away commenting on everyones posts as for first time ever we know we are not alone in all of this crazy shenannigans and its a great feeling especially after this intense self awareness, development, healing weekend where we were doing an online retreat living by the lunar energies and embracing the powerful strong energies of new beginning with the moon in her home of cancer, self care, at 0 degrees (most powerful degree for new beginnings) summer soltice and a solar eclipse. also a double dark moon as the next new moon is also in cancer. lots of yoga, meditations, worksheets, rituals and more and we really felt a shift of acceptance finallly in the body and mind of the DID and we can really see the positives of the DID, autism, EDS fibro processing language disorder etc its incredible.
do you do much on or know much about alternative solutions to help?
we know meditation retraumatises etc, from first hand experience and mind knowledge and used this now to navigate through but highly don't recomenc still meditation which is what its generally know as but active meditations or mindfulness are safer.
shaking medicine the oldest and newest form of healing and polarity therapy have been fab too.
oops sorry we going on again!
thanks so much xx

[bethdefiled]

Thank you so much for this. When I first started realising I dissociated, it was terrifying and isolating. Now I have accepted it more, but it is still a very debilitating experience, and can be distressing to deal with. I can say for a fact that you are the ONLY medical professional bar one that even knows what Dissociation, never mind DPDR, is, its refresing to hear your knowledge. Until very recently, I had no hope I would ever understand any of this, or ever recover to a point of normality. After watching your videos and working with the CTAD clinic, I have hope again. So THANK YOU.
On a side note I can also second the request for a video on Dissociative Seizures/NEADs. These can be debilitating to deal with and difficult to diagnose though I have come to realise mine are part of my DPDR too.