I failed in academia | The unexplored steps to academic failure! Leaving academia

In this video, I delve deep and explore my three steps to academic failure.
Of course, I do not consider my time in academia as wasted but, as this video will explore, I just wish I was more aware of what I was getting myself into.

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▼ ▽ TIMESTAMPS

0:00 – introduction
1:24 – not wanting to or not knowing how to play the academic game
8:12 – the sunk cost fallacy
15:44 – the outcome: scared and angry
21:08 – where I ended up
24:09 – summary

Let me know in the comments if you have experienced similar feelings and thoughts.

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[sarahalexandra]

I have a friend who did his PhD and first postdoc in Oxford. Second postdoc in Cambridge. Published 5 first author papers in his PhD. More in his PostDoc. Two of his supervisors were world renowned in their field. He was becoming known. He was invited to talk at conferences and to chair conference sessions………nobody would give him a fellowship. He now works for a crumby CRO doing work that bores him. He is such a good scientist they promoted him after 6 months on the job, have given him special privileges and told him he is on track to being the company CSO. But he couldn’t get a fellowship. All he ever wanted was his own lab. The system failed him every time. CV not strong enough. He saw the CVs of his competitors. Not as good as his. But still not good enough for academia. Or should I say the nepotism of the system.

[komentujacy]

I am just starting my PhD adventure in Poland. Here we have to have 1 article for the first 2 years (and it's not obligatory, but it makes things a lot easier). When you have 3-4 articles after 4 years you can put them together into a PhD thesis. My supervisor told me that 1 year is for reading the literature, 2 for developing a concept, and the other 2 for doing research. Polish universities are not high in the rankings, but as you can see they have a healthier approach... After all, to be able to write a publication you need to have something to write about... What matters is quality, not quantity.

[erikretana]

Your channel deserves a much bigger audience. Thank you, Andy.

[hartleymiller]

You described so clearly a lot of the journey I went through myself. Thank you. It makes me feel less alone. You're not just a great science communicator, you're a great emotional communicator.

[metastasis]

We could see the sadness in his eyes.
It takes a lot of strength to talk about your failures.

[chipperP]

Life is so hard. People love to say, ‘Don’t let anyone steal your dreams.’ But you have so little control over many aspects and factors. Life is just exhausting.

[toothdoc]

there are so many ways to leverage a phd into a non-university career. I have turned a phd in cell biology into a fun non-9-5 career in freelance manuscript/grant revision/editing. When you realize that a phd isnt about doing experiments, but rather a way about thinking about a problem and forward thinking you can use it in so many ways

[bonnacon]

I’ve been in Academia for 35 years (after grad school) and am 55. About to get myself assessed for ADHD. Whatever the outcome of that, I’m strongly of the opinion that academia = lots of mostly undiagnosed neurodivergent people trying to pass as neurotypical in a system designed by, and for, performative narcissists. How’s that for a definition of hell? Not blaming the ND Nation at all, btw. That’s all about masking and surviving … or not. You’re heroes. And maybe I’m one too.

[davidweitzenkamp]

I dreamed about being an academia and discovered that it operates a bit like a 1000 PhD-led small businesses seeking funding via publication bulimia. I’m sad it wasn’t as awesome as I imagined but happy to be let in to the club long enough to understand that I didn’t really fit well.

[bryonbrookshier]

Thank you so much for this video. Your message applies to so many areas of life; not just academia. 1. Realize you are in a game. 2. Realize when it’s time to cut your losses and go. 3. Realize scared is normal, but don’t ever let them see you sweat. I think you are a tremendous success!

[keremmorgul]

As they say, PhD means permanent head damage. Having been in the academia for over 15 years, I now have generalized anxiety disorder.

[matthewsommerville]

Worked at the University of Chicago as an analyst right out of graduate school. I was astounded by the smugness, the intense competition, and over abundance of power driven people. Toxic awful culture I was more than happy to run from. Even worse it’s all wrapped in the most insufferable mirage of positivity and progressive values - such a contradiction

[msog]

I am in the last year of my PhD and I absolutely know that I can not play this game. This is why I’m working so hard to get into the industry. Bless you for making this video.

[jpa_fasty]

If someone possesses the capacity to self-reflect like this, they are more honest and decent than 90% of people. If they can share it with the world in this unabashed way, they are truly one in a million. Good on you, you are extremely wise for your age, and I'm really pleased that your story has a happy ending. Subscribed.

[cheekynandos]

This is a very honest and refreshing take. I'm no academic but work in industry in a STEM field. It's also not uncommon to have your entire identity wrapped up in your job for the purposes of ego and external validation. I've been there and it made me miserable doing something I didn't enjoy to please others. Do what fulfills you - life is too short to live on someone else's terms.

[realhongkonger]

This is a terrific video with great insights! The game of academia is turning towards generating research impact (at least in where I work). Guess what - much of which is still about hitting the right figures and playing the game right. It's important for people wanting to be in academia know this dark side of the game early on because I've seen people doing PhD wanting to change the world (in their own ways). Not that this is a bad thing, but when this idealism meets with the game of the academic system, it is easy to end up harboring fear and anger! Thanks for this video again and I actually recommended some of your other videos to people who sought my opinion about doing a PhD. This way, you made a far greater impact than the academic system sees it.

[cpav]

I don't see any failure here, I see a struggle and a successful liberation process. So congratulations and welcome to a happier life!

[spackomcspack]

I feel you mate. I am a German scientist, if you count history as a science, and I am working in academia for 10 years now. Did my doctorate, tought 50+ courses, published 20 papers and 2 books (one monographie, one edited volume) and raised funding for 2 conferences and some other stuff. Since 5 years it dawns on me that even after my habilitation (2nd book) I wont have any chances. I see colleagues being invited for talks and being considered for tenured jobs. My contract lasts for another 3 years. Since 2 years now I am searching for another "career" to follow after I will be kicked out. But this has one good thing: you can do whatever you want and don't have to research what is fancy but what interests you.

[johnwheatley]

Having gone through a dire PhD experience at a top university, a lot of what you say here resonates. "I recognised the game to be played, and I realised that it's a shitty game" - hit the nail on the head.

I concluded that academia exists to grind down students' idealistic views of science, and replace it with cynical but effective tactics for career success within a dysfunctional and nepotistic guild. And I think a lot of the imposter syndrome stuff, and the mental health crisis in academia, comes from here.

As a result of sacrificing that idealism to pass their PhD, many of the people around me ended up in an identity crisis where they felt that their success was due to tactics rather than achievement. The social respect they gained from others' idealistic assumptions about how amazing they must be to succeed in science at a world class uni, was undermined by the knowledge that on some level they were being led (or forced) to betray that same idealism which had drawn them to science in the first place. The people who seemed to rise the fastest in that system were generally sociopaths.

[ripsirwin]

In academia, the reward for failure is greater than the reward for success. When you fail academia, you get a better paying job that's easier. You're finally free!