Chris Pratt's Filthy German Joke | CONAN on TBS

The “Passengers” star isn't fluent in German, but he does know how to tell a dirty joke about man named Peter and his pig…

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Chris Pratt's Filthy German Joke | CONAN on TBS

[tonystark]

2 Germans in a bar in London:
- Two martinis, please.
- Dry?
- NEIN! ZWEI!!

[sicfxmusic]

He was speaking so fast I thought he was quite fluent in German, later scrolled down to comments to only realize no one understood his German lmao

[SMOOTUBE]

When germans need the english translation to understand the joke :D

[absolutetuber]

Half the comments: his German sucks, I know cuz I’m German

Other half of the comments: his German really isnt that bad, I know cuz I’m German

[johnluujl]

why do you guys need to censor everything? i'm german and i was trying so hard to understand what he was saying and then i didn't get the joke because of the beep at the end:'D

[miniwizard]

He sounds like one of those Sims having a phone call.

[EmmanuelGoldsteinINGSOC]

His German is fine, but how am I supposed to get the joke if they bleep the punchline?

[maryklassen]

I can speak german but all I understood was nein

[zacofalltrades]

Chris: *speaking German*

Audience: *has no clue what he’s saying*

Also audience: *laughing along*

[juandiegogonzalez]

I'm actually glad that some Germans didn't understand what he was saying. I was getting sort of worried because I didn't understand much and I always considered my German to be really good

[Mr.Beavis]

Im german and i didnt understand a thing xD

[TheRealBeatMaster]

His pronunciation got really sloppy towards the end, and also Sau is probably not the word you would use in that case, but other than that this was pretty impressive.

[wilsons]

Chris Pratt makes a joke in german
Audience: ja !wir verstehen deutsch.

[HupfDole]

Im german and i only got it when he repeated it in english O.o

[Dewoy]

As a german i hardly understand anything but it sounds hilarious anyway.

[mercster]

That joke was hilarious. I'm so glad I learned Swahili.

[rafaelmoura]

norm told that joke, but his version was like 30 mins long

[CG-onjv]

I am german and I only understand the english version 😂

[RodebertX]

Here is the joke:

Dieter und sein Opa Peter sitzen am Berg. Opa Peter sagt: Dieter, siehst du alle diese Häuser? Ich habe diese Häuser mit meinen eigenen Händen gebaut. Aber nennt man mich >Peter den Haus-Bauer< ? Nein. Und siehst du die Kirche? Ich habe die Kirche mit meinen Händen gebaut, aber nennt man mich >Peter den Kirchen-Bauer<? Nein. Und siehst du die Mauer? Ich habe die Mauer, Stein um Stein, mit meinen eigenen Händen gebaut. Und nennen mich deshalb die Leute >Peter den Mauer-Bauer<? Nein !

Aber fickst du eine Sau....

[west]

As a German I must admit the mixture of southern accent, american accent and obviously the speed with which he speaks made most of it hard to get at first. When you know the joke and you go back to it it's actually pretty clear. I think his German is probably very good but he spoke too fast (which probably everyone here would when doing it in front of an audience that you know doesn't get a word and will quickly lose attention)