Worried About Something? Try This Strategy to Reduce Your Worry - Terri Cole

My mother taught me the strategy of taking my worries down the "what if?" highway many years ago, and I still find it helpful.

Here is what going down the “what if?” highway looks like.

When I reached the end of the “what if?” highway, I usually realized the things I felt were life or death (especially in my young life) were not.

Let me know if it works for you!

*Please note:* As several people in the comments have pointed out, this may make _anxiety_ worse. This strategy is intended to work through _worries,_ not necessarily matters you have intense anxiety over.

*About Terri Cole*
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

*Connect With Me*

*Resources to Check out*

I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.

#shorts #worrying #worry #worryless

[joannkemaldean]

Your mom offered you some lifelong wisdom. Thank you for sharing that wisdom w/ us!

[kimwentz]

My late mom said worrying is praying for what you dont want. Catch yourself, involk self discipline and start praying for what you do want

[MrX-wtin]

EXCELLENT mom!
Here’s something I learned about worry. A nine-year-old taught me about the pointlessness of it. She told me about coming home every day fearing “monster mommy” (when mom would be drunk). Then again, monster mommy was sometimes “cuddly mommy”… But in time she threw up every day anyway due to worry. She determined that worry was not a feeling but an activity. You can either engage in it or not. Then she said, and remember she was only nine years old, “worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.“ She determined she would learn to wait until she got home to learn whether it was monster mommy or cuddly mommy. If it was monster mommy, she would go to her room, lock the door, and do her homework letting mommy be her crazy self. If it was cuddling mommy, she would spend time with her and then go do her homework. In either case she stopped vomiting, and learned how to stop worrying and deal with life on life’s terms.
That profound wisdom blew me away and came from the mind of a daughter of an active alcoholic. Worry is pointless. Why wear myself out over the worst case scenario? I can handle what comes if I don’t exhaust myself over “praying for what I don’t want”.

[jodiduffy]

That's beautiful! It took me 53 years to realize I don't have to be afraid! 🌸. Thank you

[Nyc]

she allowed you to express yourself with minimum input of hers, good mom

[aprilc]

Love this! Similar to something I read somewhere: 'We have a perfect track record of surviving every day that felt like the worse day of our life'.

[SoundsBogus]

There's a flip side to that. My sister what iffed everything until she was in constant anxiety and worry about every decision, over imagining worst-case scenarios.

[ST-rjiu]

I didn't learn this until my 30s. It is called the "5 whys". After about 5 tries you should get to the root of the issue.

[goodintentions]

About ten years after HS graduation I was told that my good friend, who I walked home from school with for 2 miles on a regular basis & had a huge crush on, had a crush on me for years. We were both shy & I always thought it was just me liking him.

[kourtneyhorn]

Exactly what I call maintaining control of your life.
Just do the best you can with everything, any unknowns will be revealed in time, then just do your best again.

[privateprivate]

I always say to myself whatever happens I'll take care of it. It instils self confidence and control.

[peggyward]

My father gave me the best sure of what you wish for...you just might get it"!

[wejoin]

My therapist taught me this! It’s never as bad as it seems in your mind and you can handle it as your past history shows you. ❤️

[bellakrinkle]

I'm sure you realize how lucky you were to have a mother that could interact with you in a personal growth manner. Thx for sharing .

[snoozebutton]

Bad part of "what ifs" is that your mind can go from "its ok" to full blown anxiety from all the senarios you can think of that can happen. As much as it great to rationalize the "what if's", some ppl cannot. Thanks for the tips 😊

[annnoble]

That's called age and wisdom. The older you become the less worried you are about being destroyed by much. You've made it this far and all those past worries are in the rearview

[stellafosua]

You are so lucky to have had such a wonderful mother, who really prepared you for this brutal world.❤

[PositiveRaincloud]

My grandmother said almost the exact same thing. She passed a few years ago, but I always try my best to follow her advice. She always seemed so care-free, even before she passed away.

[skittlesreacts]

Wow! This is actually pretty powerful. I've been through some awful, awful things, and Jesus has gotten me through it all ❤

[amethystfalls]

‘Because I’ve survived…’ I will remember this when I am plagued with worry. Thank you.