All-Seeing Eye Dog

what a good boy

Original comic from Shitfest by Tyler Hendrix:

Voiced by SungWon Cho (me!)

[swimmyswim]

My sister has a service dog.

This is a 100% accurate representation of what life with a service dog is like.

[jode]

My all seeing eye dog won't stop barking at every squirrel in the observable universe.

[spookzer]

"do you want a belly rub". "I, in spite of the fact I've seen planets crumble at the whim of my power, would indeed be thoroughly delighted to have my belly rubbed".

[nutninjagoesbananaserc]

“Do you want to go for a-“

“DO NOT FOLLY OR BOTHER SPEAKING TO ME. I HAVE WATCHED AS CIVILISATIONS MILLIONS OF LIGHT YEARS AWAY TEAR THEMSELVES APART, AND AS FAR AS I HAVE GONE, I KNOW NOW ONE UNDENIABLE TRUTH: I WISH TO GO WALKIES.”

[keiranferrier]

"WHEN THE STARS THEMSELVES HAVE GONE OUT AND EVERY PLANET HAS TURNED TO DUST, I SHALL STAND ON THE ASHES OF YOUR CIVILIZATION AND EVERYTHING YOUR SPECIES HAS ACCOMPLISHED AND I WILL BE PLEASED"

Look you peed on the rug, all I did was call you a bad boy.

[mrmcmoustache]

Me: “Who wants a treat”
The dog: “Within the far reaches of my infinite mind, yes I would agree that a small delicacy would slightly improve my already appeased self”

[Silverwind]

You want the stick?
"I HAVE TRANSCENDED THE NEED FOR STICKS."

[Beriorn]

And this is why you don't touch an assistance dog while it is working.

[friendgray]

“You want to go walkies?”

“I tread paths of knowledge from the furthest star to the mind of the smallest insect. I have already experienced everything that will ever happen in my mind, but I would very much like to visit the park”

[p.a.r.c]

He may be a godlike being...but look at him sticking out the tip of his tongue, so cute.

[luckyslob]

There’s a rule that you don’t pet service dogs.

*this is why.*

[lazyt]

I want this from my birthday skeleton.

[Poiuy]

He is the best boi, helping the blind and plotting the world’s inevitable demise

[kingquality]

I want to know how the all seeing eye dog reacts to the all hearing ear cat

[jhart]

... where can I get that dog cause I need help with school.

[silver]

Aahhhh, so *this* is the person that took Pooh’s eyes.

[conall]

BTW Don't pat a service dog, like one helping a blind person, as you could distract it.

[babypyroshark]

Someone: *thinks about me in a bad way*
All-seeing eye dog: *barks at them:

[twicetwotimes]

I too have unending knowledge of all that is good and evil. Yet you don't see me bragging about it, or what a good boy I am. Yes I am.

[awfulknight]

“Who wants to go on a walkie? A good walkie is healthy for the feetsies!”
“You do not need to use such a childish tone and vocabulary with me, mortal, for i am the *best* boy, yet despite the fact that your vocabulary spites me i would indeed like to go on what you refer to as a ‘walkie’ but is in factuality a walk meaning a slow travel from one destination to another destination, the reason behind this decision is because i need my what you refer to as ‘feetsies’ but is in actuality just my feet to be exercised via physical interaction and is in this case a travel from one destination to the next, thank you human.”