Shhh...Quiet Please! Reducing Verbal Stimming and Scripting in Children with Autism

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A common question I get is how to teach a child to be quiet during activities where verbal stimming or scripting is disruptive.

🧩 About Mary Barbera 👩‍⚕️

I'm Dr. Mary Barbera and I have been helping parents and professionals for more than two decades ago when my first-born son, Lucas, was diagnosed with a speech delay at 2 and then with autism at age 3. Since then, I became a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Host of the Turn Autism Around podcast (with more than 1.7 million downloads), and best-selling author of two books (including my newest book Turn Autism Around: An Action Guide for Parents of Young Children with Early Signs of Autism).

In addition to free content, I post daily across YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. I also offer online courses for parents and professionals. Behavior Analyst BACB CEUs and Early Intervention contact hours are also included for professionals.

Whether you have a toddler with speech delays and/or excessive tantrums or you're a parent or professional helping early intervention clients, I encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel and join me for videos almost every day that will help you increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve eating, sleeping, and potty training!
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Stimming is not like neurotypical people filling boredom with doodling or social media. It is a self-soothing mechanism used to cope with stress and anxiety. Redirection or addressing the cause of the stim is appropriate, eliminating it is not.

MichelleRobert-oiuf
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Instead of saying "reduce" the stimming, would it be more accurate to say that you're redirecting the stimming, since the amount of stimming isn't necessarily lessened, you're just substituting a more socially-acceptable stim choice?

buildingburning
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I'm extremely stressed as my 4 year old stims vocally literally all day.. it's to the point where no distractions etc work and I actually feel I am going insane. The neighbor has started banging on the wall when she is too loud and I Haven extreme anxiety and now want to move. Her main stim is a constant "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's so much.. I don't know how much more I can take. Even with headphones turned up all the way to block it out I can still hear her

NikkiM
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The stimming is reduced in a sense that it doesn't become disruptive to the activity or social settings, which in turn gives more experience to the child. She did say she doesn't try to stop stimming if it's not dangerous

savingday
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It costs 0 dollars to be a good parent and just let your kid say something that makes them happy. Stimming does not need to be "reduced".

dragontatoes
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As someone on the spectrum and is noise senseative, I've had to walk away from too many "quiet autism sessions" on the account of a (very) loud stimmer being allowed in and disrupting the session with the expecation that I should just deal with it. This is why I think there should be interventions on this kind of behavior at a much younger age, not to get rid of stimming completely (I stim, I know how it is) but because sometimes if left as it is this behavior can sometimes cause alot of problems later down the road in adult life, some adult services will be forced to choose to cater to the sound senseative, or loud verbal not all services can do both.

Toungecat
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What do you do when verbal stimming is disruptive in a classroom setting? When the child with autism displaying this behaviour is disrupting the flow of a lesson affecting the rest of the class? Do you have any strategies for that? Telling the child to be quiet or stop is not conducive and the behaviour happens again.

sarahkim
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Where is the link? Thanks for advice but need more support

lynnrichards
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My child talks all day long non stop even when he plays with his toys and when he is laying down for bed it's driving me batty. I'm not sure what to do it's like there is no pause

GodsPrincess
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My child is three years old. He doesn't communicate but keep on speaking what he knows.

badrilamsal
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I'm a pretty loud vocal stimmer but i try to reduce how much noise im making and turn to physical stims instead if i can, i really don't want to disrupt anyone in like a library or somehting.

jdskfhsjd
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My son is 18months old. He walks on toe tips, does hand flapping, verbal stiming sounds like hummm, has not yet started talking, gets irritated and throws his toys. However, he responds to his name, socially active and plays with other children, has a social smile and eye contact too. I am too nervous and worried thinking of these as symptoms of autism.i can't move out due to Covid n I want to evaluate if he has autism or not. Please kindly suggest

lipsan
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Stoping stimming when stimming reduces stress and by making it unwanted and forcing the kids that do it to stop is sending the signal that there true authentic self is unwanted instead of accepting them as they are 🤦🏻‍♀️

I do agree with stopping it to a degree (volume) in a public place once there teens/adults but still letting them be free to stim full blown at home

howtowithelizabeth
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I'm 23 and I still do jumping stims, I don't know know how to get rid of them or at least change it for other stims.

gogo-fswl
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Is stemming the same as talking loudly and non stop? That is what my 3.5 years old does all day and it is sad to see.
If feel like his brain is exhausted because he doesn't stop no matter how much I try to engage him. Some days are better than others

DarkAngel-cjsx
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How about when your child verbally stems at 2 AM in the morning and won’t stop for several hours grunting humming spinning. How much can parents take? I’ve developed a nervous twitch now response to my sons Stimming.

lifewithjimmy
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I live in a apartment complex where the walls are thin and you can hear everything the neighbors are doing pretty much, my newly 2 year old son constantly screams and throws tantrums... I really don’t need my neighbors to call the authorities because of his vocal stims. What can I do? I need help ASAP

mashellyildirim
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I need your help in doing my QQ level 5 in my special Needs Assistant course

michelle_moran
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So I was wanting to know if I can call you to get some advice and go over some of these problems and see how we can get him to start talking thank you

brianrogers
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I'm autistic and I hate my voice myself. I have managed to get friends and have gotten over weird interests like logos and focus and do well in school but I still sound autistic!!! I listen to myself singing in recordings and it sucks.

IronSwordRBLX
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