THE NORTH POLE CORPORATE TAKEOVER | A Christmas Song!

It’s the fabled return of the Stupendium Christmas video! No video game IPs here though folks, just a good old-fashioned tale of corporate greed. This one goes out to everyone that’s worked in a boring corporate office…

Hope you all enjoy this one! It came together very last minute, so a massive thanks to the team for giving 110% on this one. They really thought outside the box and brought so many great ideas to the table. The synergy was off the charts, and you can feel that in the final deliverable. Everyone here at Stupendium Ltd really espouses the company’s core values of Collaboration, Respect, Accountability and Perseverance.

I’m putting a pin in videos over Christmas but don’t worry, we have several things in the pipeline that we’ll circle back around to once we get out ducks in a row. So, have a fantastic holiday season and we’ll touch base in the New Year.

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Check out the full Stupendium originals playlist for all of my original songs!
STUPENDIUM ORIGINALS:
THE STUPENDIUM ON SPOTIFY:
THE STUPENDIUM ON iTUNES:

Crew:
Video by The Stupendium and Lizzy CJ
Shoot coordinator: Lizzy CJ
Set fabrication: Nick Henderson
Set dressing: The Stupendium, Lizzy CJ, ‪@‬LawlessMarshall Darcy‬
Costume sourcing and design: The Stupendium, Lizzy CJ, @LawlessMarshall
Prop sourcing and fabrication: The Stupendium, Lizzy CJ, @LawlessMarshall, Darcy
Production assistants: Darcy, @LawlessMarshall, @DatedRhyme

TV advert by Coca-Cola

Music:
Lyrics and vocals by The Stupendium

Introduction Music:

Performers:
Santa: Nick Henderson
Blake Midwinter: The Stupendium
Ken D. Cane: @Shwabadi
Elise Navidad: Lizzy CJ
Elf 3: @fleck3

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The Stupendium on Patreon!
Official Stupendium Merchandise!
Official Stupendium discord server!
Drop me a tweet? @TheStupendium

The Stupendium is a musician, animator and content creator, creating weird, wonderful and usually incredibly nerdy songs and animations. Join them on their journey to obscure, niche internet stardom! They have some pretty decent videos, wonderful facial hair and a great sense of discomfort describing themselves in the third person.

[TheStupendium]

LYRICS:

VERSE 1:
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, it’s true
Such joy and cheer as we’re crunching the numbers
The time draws near for our customary summary
And that’s the time of our annual financial review
Just one look at the state of the company
It’s plain to see we need a major redundancy
You all want toys but you’re not gonna pay for 'em
And it’s causing Claus Inc. complications
Can’t keep dropping joy across all the nations
If we’re running as a non-profit organisation
Since this place commenced
And claimed that hence we’d make presents
The generations came and went
We played pretend and prayed for sense
The guy up top, red faced and bent
On playing saint - not paying rent
Refused to stop and take a pen
To change that mission statement
Yule comes around and your kids get coddled
Our accounts meltdown as we risk Cheer-nobyl
Get your eggnog mixed with economics
So we're fixing the Christmas business model

CHORUS:
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Now, old Saint Nick’s kicked out the door
We don’t do freebies any more
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover

VERSE 2:
We'll do away with the sleigh visiting every home
We'd be far more efficient with delivery drones
Sending reindeer overhead strains our overheads
We're selling them to quell a couple business loans
We need to modernize, monetize, sugarplum synergize
Stockings are floated and the elves are downsized
Success is never gonna just land in your lap
We’re in Lapland, baby
What’s a price without hikes?
If you want cookies and carrots
That have been placed out by parents
Bitten to make it apparent
That Santa made an appearance
Well then, you'll need to reserve it
'Cause that's our premium service
We thought you loved your kids?
Perhaps their dreams just aren’t worth it?
And with that in mind, it's a reasonable ask
That you all subscribe to our seasonal pass
Unlocking treats on a path completing menial tasks
To keep you busy as we reap all the cash
Priced fairly at barely what the customer affords
You can start in a pear tree and leap up to a lord
Hit five gold rings as you level yourself
And then buy more skins for your Elf on a Shelf
Carol?

Yeah, no, yeah, they can keep his face on the bottles
It’s good brand recognition and we kept the rights
Yeah, of course they’ll pay for it
Who’s gonna wanna change all the lights on the trucks?

CHORUS:
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
You can upgrade from the naughty to nice list
If you can pay our affordable prices
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover

VERSE 3:
Since the fifties tradition didn't click with the kids
So now the chimney is giving me the skibidi rizz
Now in December catch influencers
Going viral shilling kiddies shit in Christmassy vids
No more knick-knack, bric-a-brac
Things that could be whittled from a stick
And stuck in a sack
That crap won’t sell and it’s leaving the team stuck
You ever see an elf tryna whittle a V-buck?
Hey team!
So, you’re wondering what I gathered you for?
Just a check in with my buddies
On the factory floor!
You know the lads on the board
Are glad to have you aboard
But we’ve all seen pretty damning reports
Whilst toys are such a sweet thing
It’s products that you make
And we see you when you’re sleeping
And we know when you take breaks
So, if we’re gonna ship deliverables
We’re gonna need a Christmas miracle
We’re nearing the year-end
There’s no time for cheer, friends
Just make goods for goodness sakes
You know on average three elves die
When manufacturing a PS5
You want a respirator?
Eh, we'll get some later
Could you not just breathe less, guys?
Yes, boss!
We’ve gotta right the ship and chart a course
I’m pretty sure the guy we kicked was hard to port
It’s time to realign the vision – pass the torches
Who are we to fight with Christmas market forces?
So, if you find your shift should lag or pause
It’s possible that time can stick to pass the audits
We’ve got every child’s wish to grant come morning
Well, except the kind of kids who can’t afford it

Each and every one of these elves
Is filled to the pointy-eared brim with microplastics
And thanks to their relative size
To an elf they’re actually much larger plastics

CHORUS:
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Well, boo-hoo if you’re seeking to blame us
It’s thanks to you we’re competing with Bezos
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover

BRIDGE:
We’ve sent whimsy down your chimneys
For the last two thousand years
And forgive me being Grinchy
But we’ve had it up to here
Took our vision by committee
And you got commercial-eyes
Turned the mystique into mincemeat
Whilst you fought over the pie
You parsed our thing through marketing
Commodified the cheer
You’ll hardly see us arguing
You’ve got the right idea
But you’ve dined free on our IP
So make it understood
That licensees, though fine to eat
Don’t bake the fudging pud
All those fantasies your families
Have told are trashed
You want magic? Well, that’s tragic
'Cause we sold our stash
It won’t matter that our strategies are
Bold, harsh, brash
When we wake up to a great big lump of
Coal-d hard cash!

CHORUS:
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
You guys chose to monetise it
So why can’t those who devised it?
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Who knew fun was actually fungible?
Now my toys are tax-deductible
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
In this age where joy and cheer bring
Room for flagrant profiteering
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Hi, is that the office of Mr E. Bunny?
Blake Midwinter here, Clause Inc.
I was hoping he could hop on a call?
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Patrick! How’s the Saint business?

Hold that thought, I’ve got one word for you – merger
Let’s meet for drinks
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Cupid, baby! Let me shoot my shot here
I’m interested in a partnership
It’s the North Pole Corporate Takeover
Hi, Pancake Day HQ?
I’ve got an offer for you, and you are going to flip

[evanmann]

"and the elves are downsized" is such a great way to demonstrate the ways corporations like to avoid dirty little words like "child labor" and "human rights violations"

[Redstringonaboard]

The use of the AI Coke commercial. Genius.

[TheGodIvy]

I cannot believe I like a song that managed to put "Skibidi Rizz" into a rhyme and make it actually sound good

[angilexx]

My god, they went nuclear with the puns and references in this one. Leave it to Stupe to throw corporate corruption, puns, and the subject of scrutiny in a blender and let it puree.

[Arandomhunter]

“Why do you think we chose this location? You can’t call it a sweatshop, it’s too cold for anybody to sweat at all!”

[condensedmilk]

You can tell you've done your job right when the Lights On A Truck line actually made me wince in anguish. Totally sleezy and tone deaf...

Perfection.

[ourtalechara]

A three minute wait after a three hour wait. I'm so excited. Like, I'm kind of worried about myself levels of exited. Save me Blake, Elise, and Ken

[torazely]

This song is the thematic opposite of Lights on a Truck and I'm here for it.

Edit: hang on, I just noticed the straight up Lights on a Truck reference!!! Well done Stupes!!!

[Gaster-mmsd]

You can honestly tell they just had fun making this song like they didn’t make it based off a video game. It’s so original. I honestly love all of the references to modern media. Honestly, I just love this song. It’s great love to their relationship relationships with corporate evil.

23 likes!!!

[goblincrimes]

This part ( 4:36 ) feels like it could be read as typical christmas tale but on the modern era, the bussinesspeople that took over the north pole aren't the cause of the consumerist attitude that people and brands have taken towards christmas, they're instead the consequence of it.

They're just representative entities, that are seemingly magical in their own right too, who represent the modern spirit of christmas, Santa is kicked out because he isn't making any money but also because he no longer represents the true values of modern christmas.

Blake Midwinter and the gang aren't doing this out of greed but because they have to enact the image of christmas that the brands have forced upon them, and also because there's fat stacks involved in literally downsizing employees and busting elf unions is considerably easier in a fiscal paradise such as the north pole.

[jimboberoonie]

stuff i liked about this song:
- 1:22 "cheer-nobyl"
- 2:20 "[a] cruise or whatever holiday grownups [have]"
- 2:43 reference to "lights on the trucks", their first christmas song 8 years ago (yes, i watched that.)
- 3:03 reference to "to all a good fright", their horror themed christmas song
- 3:09 yeah, i'd throw up too.
- 3:11 POSSIBLE reference to dan bull's "well would you look at that" part in "the production line", though this is a bit of a stretch.
- 3:11 that same flute is used in "the toybox". you thought you were slick, didn't you?
- 3:24 a bunch of the props here is also used in "the toybox", most notably the toy trumpet in the back.
- 3:36 a possible reference to "the production line", considering the quota.
- 3:36 the elf on a shelf in the christmas tree is shown in the previous shot, and some subsequent ones. nice attention to detail.
- 4:06 i dont think the clock is supposed to go in that direction.
- 4:23 this is just mean
- 4:45 the AI coca cola commercial 💀
- 5:43 a plush of their animatronic in "a pizza the action" is in the back, accompanied by, of course, their signature plush. the sing along stupendium toy is yet another throwback to "the toybox"
- 5:49 who the hell wanted a lego typewriter 💀
- 6:19 "hey nerdcore, stupendium here."
- 6:56 "so its always been about generating a prophet!"
- 7:06 "You're fired."

[danielsantiagourtado]

Stupes making a Song about corpiration?! This can only be a BANGER 🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍

[PhoenixGD-un]

I love this. "Licensees, though fine to eat, don't bake the fudging pud" is genius. Also, gotta love the Stupes merch in the background of the "Who knew fun was actually fungible?"(amazing wordplay btw)

[thewoodlandcryptid]

the stupendium saying "skibidi rizz" in a christmas song was not on my 2024 bingo card and yet here we are

[Pigeon-wit-shoes]

5:09 The catchyest part in my opinion.

[tangledwires]

I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to hear The Stupendium say "skibidi rizz" today, or ever, really

[eyeballpaul]

And here I thought you were going to stop making horror Christmas songs. This is the scariest one yet!

[MalzraAirwynn]

"We see you when you're sleeping and we know when you take breaks" was my favorite line in this one. Poor elves.

[CloTheVA]

How- I just- I don't understand how a damn Christmas song this be this much of a banger
How the hell do you do this every time.
Every new song you release becomes my new favorite I dont understand how this keeps happening