Saying the Wrong Thing | Simon Sinek

NOTE: This video was originally uploaded on May 6th 2022. It's been re-uploaded without music, as per the request of the commenters.

It's better to go slow in the right direction than speeding off in the wrong direction.

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Simon’s books:

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#SimonSinek

[DariusTan]

That’s true. As a leader, we have to learn to say things even if it hurts. Hurt is a key to breakthrough. 🔥

[AinsleyJennings-jd]

Thank you. I had to listen to this atleast 6 times. Lots of deep reaching thoughts shared in less than 3 mins. The next step is how to get leaders to be curious about those in the org 'below' them. I see so much unlock and time savings.

[TheEmoImo]

Thank you! Your words have always made me pause and try to process my emotions and thoughts before reacting. You uploaded this on a day where I genuinely am struggling to figure out how not to say the wrong thing, be vulnerable with my leader and maybe gain some leadership skills of my own. Thanks again!

[TinaLeder]

Yes Simon!❤️

People assume I should know these communication skills "naturally" (probably because I'm a woman), but it wasn't until I learned sales, NLP, and public speaking on my own that I got to build both professional and personal relationships.

These "soft skills" should honestly be taught in grade school, but glad people like Simon puts it out there! Life changing.🙏

[HwangMinHyuk]

I am teaching international conflicts in a college and the topic of "reconciliation" is coming up. What you said here should be important in my class. Thanks!

[alibeaumont-filder]

Brilliant insightful wisdom as always, thank you .

[paulcooper]

Ive said the wrong thing lately and reflected on it after and felt that people have misunderstood what im saying in a situation which could bite me in the ass so to speak.

[garyvanliew]

Thanks for this. People gain through being intentional, not perfect.

[bandiceet]

De-esculating ones own trigger.

I think is something everyone needs to hear.

We all demand too be told the truth, that people should be honest, but so few people are willing to accept what is being said because suddenly it outside their own world view. If you want people to speak the truth, learn how to listen to it.

[peterclark]

The only Sin is ignorance, the only Evil is the perpetuation of ignorance. Power thrives on both.

[amitdahal]

We live in da past with all the problems and no solutions 🤫

[mary-annbinond]

"share more the process" not directly how you think happened.

[princeiyire]

Thank you alot Sir. This is really insightful

[Clarissa-cguc]

Thank you very much because I made a horrible horrible first Short. Then I heard sound, then it went away 😔😔😭😭

[КулаймТокашовна]

Thank you for your inspiration and your useful information ❤

[waynesanders]

Business Exec: "This is how we've always done it"
Simon: "I'm feeling triggered!"

[cherylclough]

There is another useful tool, that I have found incredibly useful over the years. It is the idea of a "longitudinal conversation". Where a complex or emotionally triggering or politically sensitive subject is not finished and completed in one 10 minute conversation or 30 minute meeting. It is the idea or concept that is so scary or confronting that people are scared of talking about it or confronting, so they try and avoid it, but they know that it is going to open a storm of emotions or consequences. So, people tip around the sleeping bear, hoping to not wake them. Some others realise they are going to have to wake the bear, so how to do you appease a bear that has been woken too soon from hibernation? Porridge, honey, comfy shoes, nice armchair? How to introduce that "bad" subject? "Leave a note or report and run?" Or flag, "I need to talk to you about something, but you are not going to be happy." Or your protective parents are about to find out you have a partner "Hey, you know how you always wanted me to find someone I liked?..." Titbits are left. Some to appease, some to inch open the door - but not let a blasting draft or gale extinguish the fire or bring on either hypothermia or the house burning down. So, a bit later, maybe somewhere private while you are doing dishes. "So, you know that conversation about Kelly last week?" "Yeh." "Would you like to meet Kelly next week to see if you like them? I know you want to protect me, but Kelly seems really nice, and I would like you to like them too." Much of modern culture is based on newspaper writing. Make sure you engage the reader in the first few words and get your point across before you lose their attention. This construct is fine if you are in a war or on a battlefront, there is lots of data coming in, you need to know where the good guys are and where the baddies you want to defend and/or take out. It is terrible for building relationships, building peace, innovation, restoration, finding solutions, healing old wounds, appeasing grievances. Some people are addicted to conflict and posturing - their reputation and wealth are based on playing this way and doing it better than most. (One deplorable trick is being really good at co-opting spies (knowingly or otherwise) to recognise where there is a change threat and work out their vulnerabilities to "take them out". Much of commercial business, autocrat posturing is based on this divvy up system. While successful, the inherent conflict paradigm of the process means it is incapable or recognizing the whole game is at risk of collapse. As we have seen in the most recent Australian election (held 21 May 2022) and Putin's disastrous campaign against Ukraine - the "insider game" creates a blind spot. Bearers of bad news or bad results are "lost", "eliminated", "excluded", so the autocrat is caught up in their delusion (fostered by their (priestly) enablers) and blind to the realities of what is really going on. When you are operating in "crux" times (where the old rules are proven failures, but no one knows what the viable new rules are) then two things happen. Those who are used to structure, being in control, the winners, clamp down with aggression and force to prove "they are the powerful ones". Those who know the paradigms are failing (they have already been excluded, marginalised, persecuted) are already working on the new solutions and the new paradigms. This is where longitudinal conversation comes in. Those who want to be in control, but their control paradigms are failing are either going to tantrum into war and apocalypse; or be replaced by the more moderate leaders able to understand the new paradigms. The new moderate leaders are engaging in the longitudinal conversations - with the regenerative agriculturalists; the indigenous peoples who understand their ecosystems and how to keep them sustainable; the marginalized and oppressed who have worked out how to create stable nurturing communities; the visionaries and mystics who have been watching the threads and working out which ones will weave best this way or that. Longitudinal conversations start with a basic precept - that the wellbeing of all parties is what is important. Then the working out how to do that, so that no one is left behind is negotiated. The truly visionary understand it is not one solution, one paradigm, one technique - but rather (just as in nature) the more options and niches then the more complexity and resiliency -the more stability and viability. Not stability of guaranteeing that this particular water molecule will sit "here" in "this" solution, but rather that a water molecule is like to end up somewhere in a viable ecosystem within a living biosphere rather than in a wasteland swamp or atomized due to nuclear reactions.

[PackinForSuperbowl]

What was this craziness of frontline workers getting all the training they need?

[ap]

Dear Mr. Sinek. Can you please make English subtitle in your videos? So that other people from outside English speaking countries may have benefit understand more from your great ideas. It is hard to just hear English rather than read it, especially if the talk is fast. Thank you before, mr. Sinek.

[noelafflick]

There is no such thing as saying the wrong wrong thing. It depends on whether you are being honest or deceitful. There is honest open communication. Which is supposed to be two way. Then there is deceitful manipulative communication, which is one way. As it does not take In to account the others views or rights. Just circumvents the issues.
Example
If my kids were sport mad and one strict diet what has that got to do with what I eat or drink. As long as I took into account their needs and guide and protect them like a good parent should. What is the problem.