Where is that contempt coming from? #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #bpd #mentalhealth

[Stopnormalizingviolence]

"What we believe about ourselves tends to be what we manifest our life to be." So true! If only it didn't take some of us so long to realize this, and learn how to work on changing the way we feel about ourselves. One day we'll all get there. ❤

[ThatGingerHannah]

Yes, I agree 100%. As someone diagnosed with BPD, I definitely mock or self deprecate myself because I feel like those around me feel the same way about me as I do about myself. Definitely something to work on and I try not to do it but I notice I do it when I’m having a bad day or episode.

[levitatestudent]

So true - self depricating sense of humour developed from a young age. Deflect compliments. Criticise self before anyone else can....let people know you don't think much of yourself so there is no value in them critising you....I already know thanks!

But people who care about you also hate that you constantly run yourself down....it makes them sad to hear your constant self deprication.

Its hard to stop....but worth a try.

[steved]

Yes, it fits. Low self esteem, lack of self worth can cause a person to question other peoples motives. Let’s say she’s dressed in bright colors, looks good, and someone comes in the room and says “oh aren’t you the cats meow?” she may take that a personal attack rather than feeling confident enough to know that the person is either being funny or is jealous of her good looks. I have a close friend with undiagnosed traits.
A similar example might be if I ask an innocent question, she may see it as a personal attack. I have to be very careful to be clear and often times have to explain if I’m being funny, teasing or being sincere. Conversely, she mocks me frequently. If I question it, or I don’t get the joke, she will simply say oh I was just messing with you. It also fits the traits. I interpret that as testing me - there’s always constant testing going on to make sure that I am not losing interest in the relationship. Be sure to listen to as many of Dr. Fox’s videos as possible and you will start to recognize examples of all the traits.

[danielhernandez-fomj]

facts the biggest struggle i have i allways feel im not as awesome as a lot of my friends and fam tell em i am .... i often tell myself I'm only as good as my last screw up no matter how long ago it was been working onit and the best way i have to beat it is to be productive and make sure my last out burst is farther and farther away form the last one .... but i still haven't found a way to beat feeling like I'm annoying and always will be but one step at a time right and your right these core belief issue are the main reason i tend to end up alone or afraid to reach out to new people right now I'm trying to brake this avoident issue i have where i cant get myself to make new friends or get out to do new social hobbies as I'm worried of the failure and rejection and have some how owned its the bast way to prevent abandonment personaliys are hard to adapt to better copeing skills lol

[sarahs]

Yes! I resonate with this 100%! Thank you for your insight that also confims my questions about having an abusive relationship with myself! VERY helpful!

[carriehobbes]

Thank Dr. Fox - just wanted to say these videos are so helpful.

And I actually like the gifs - it really helps to see a visual go along with your words in the background. As long as they are fairly “calm” and not too frightening (which you would be a good judge of considering you’re a psychologist and understand the impact of moving visuals on people!)


Thanks for the great work, and keep it up! You help me so much even as I am struggling to find my footing in life. Thanks from India 💜🙏🏼

[awkwardemily]

Yes, I make fun of myself and I always say "just kidding." But really I'm saying exactly what I think people are thinking. Sometimes I make others laugh when I do it and on the surface it might seem like we're all having a little fun, but really I'm hating on myself the whole time with a smile on my face.

[Nuetral]

There's actually a lot of levels here. A couple of really important ones are that someone may mock you for being mocked themselves, because if it's gonna be used against them then they're going to use it against others too (is definitely a maladaptive approach, but poking the bear is something fewer people do when the bear attacks after being poked). And second, there are a lot of times when we mock or resent certain things because we simply don't have the support to deal with our trauma directly (you could have something like homophobia display as a result of being sexually abused as a child, but since males don't get to have the voice females do on this topic most males don't get to address that trauma in a way they can get help for, so that connection that isn't tied directly to that trauma becomes their only way of venting that trauma).

BPD definitely has a lot of both of these potentially. Because though it's rarely talked about most therapists want nothing to do with BPD patients (diagnosed or undiagnosed)... this definitely leads to a lot of really misdirected resentment (especially since most people want to blame people with BPD for not going to therapy, passing them off like it's the therapists job to deal with them so they don't have to). Not hard to tell how a lot of redirected anger could form from all that. This can also fuel the desire to "make them see how it feels" by trying to make others feel bad about what they themselves keep getting mistreated over.

[doctornautilus]

Yeah that makes sense! There are better ways to protect oneself from the mockery of others than by taking ownership of how others might negatively evaluate you, like embodying positive qualities lol

[johnlee]

Replace mockery with partial / controlled mirroring

[JessCyph]

Is this true for individuals with npd, too?

[andrewpayette]

I love the videos and I'd like to make a suggestion. I come here for the information, not to be entertained. Lose the gifs and emojis. I found them to be distracting and not contributing.