Are homeschoolers properly socialized?

You know you’ve heard it: “I don’t homeschool because I want my kids to learn how to socialize with their peers.” Or something like it. I am a firm believer that that just isn’t a good enough reason, and is honestly, just not true.

That said, this video isn’t about coming at anyone who doesn’t homeschool for other reasons. Not everyone can, or has a desire to. And there are plenty of people out there who wish they could and they simply can’t. Know that I am NOT coming at you.

This video is out of the norm for me. Let me know if you like it.

#crunchymom #homeschool #wildandfree #silkybecauseistilluseabank

Song "Into the Wild" by Graham Colton
Licensed through Musicbed

[jackiemasek]

What people don’t know is that there’s a whole underground society of homeschoolers who socialize together. We are at the park, the zoo, or the museum DURING THE WEEKDAY and have the entire place to ourselves. Even better, we have the professionals who work there to ourselves. They’re busy answering questions and providing resources on a one-on-basis because our kids are actually interested and aren’t just there for a mandatory field trip. Both of my kids have professional jobs now, no student debt, and are actually moving into a house together soon. Yeah, they want to be roommates on purpose. I didn’t move the school into our house, I moved learning into our home. And they are both very thankful for that.

[saraherber]

I left my job as a teacher to homeschool my children. I would get the same criticism. They will never be socialized they would say then in their next breath would say how polite and kind my kids were and what a large vocabulary they have.😂

[JPGiannaT]

I was homeschooled, and I WASN'T properly socialized. There was a big learning curve when I started at a brick and mortar high school, and I was very lonely as a child. I had my siblings (all brothers, and I'm still close to them) but no friends who were girls.

Do I think homeschooling can work? Absolutely. But it shouldn't be done unless you 1.) aren't completely overwhelmed with other commitments or mental health issues, 2.) Are able to tap into some sort of supporting community, and 3.) Are able to realistically regularly leave the house /get your children into extracurriculars of some sort (volunteering, scouting, improv theatre, a paying job, SOMETHING). Homeschooling may be, indeed, the best fit for your family and kids. But make sure you have the resources to do it.

My mom homeschooled because she thought it was the best option, but she HATED it. She felt trapped, overwhelmed, and she was miserable (and we could tell). I have a lot of memories of feeling really, REALLY bored and stressed and trapped. When she finally got desperate enough to put us in school (I was in high school), I LOVED the consistency, routine, and the chance to actually DO stuff beyond curriculum workbooks. It made up for struggling to connect with my peers.

On the other hand, my sister in law and several family friends homeschool, and they do great with it. I've actually been shocked to go to their houses and see their kids doing a million and a half different things and being obviously happy and pursuing their own interests, and the mothers being happy and engaged too. I know it can be done well, and both mom and kids can flourish.

At the end of the day, do the best you can with the resources you have.

(And I see and appreciate the birthing video thing...I was able to shut up an annoying boy in class once (he was trying to get my goat) by telling him random facts about the process of giving birth ("Dude, I can TELL YOU THINGS about the mucus plug..."). Mom was a homebirther (me too!)).

[MandyReynvaan]

I was a teacher for 14 years and now I’m a homeschool mom to my 5 kiddos. I will never go back to the conventional classroom.

[Urbandale]

As a person whose education included both conventional school and homeschool, I think that the key is doing what is best for each of your children individually and taking it year by year. There are benefits and drawbacks to all schooling options. While homeschooling was very beneficial to my older brother, it suffocated me. I needed to learn in a group of students. I was heavily involved in our church and sports, but it was not enough for me socially. I learned best from someone who is not my mom (who was a trained teacher) and with a group of my peers. My brother learned best through books and self directed exploration. What is best for one child is not always best for another.

[tacobell]

Homeschool can be good, but I don't think it's for every kid. It really depends on their at home relationship with their parents and their needs as an individual. Not every family can afford homeschool as well.
There's definitely pros and cons to it.

[emilyacevedo]

So I was public schooled and my husband was homeschooled. He is charismatic and so good at confrontation and I run and hide when the JW’s pull up (seriously guys, I live in the woods for a reason). I always tell people that you can be weird and socially awkward no matter where you get your education. Also “I don’t want my kids to be weird”, idk if you noticed but kids are naturally weird.

[rowenaravenclaw]

Was homeschooled from K-12 and am currently in college to become an engineer. Loved my time as a homeschooler and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I see things differently from others my age and it’s often for the better. My views on individuality, self esteem, relationships, and success were all shaped during my time at home and I am so thankful for that. And I also got the same comment and still do, “well weren’t you socialized?” Just keep pushing through and ignore those people that lack the social skills themselves to realize what an asinine question they are asking, and continue being a unique and individualistic homeschooler!

[kayakinggrandmakelly]

Me too. Socially awkward as a non-homeschooler. I homeschooled my two boys, who are now adults, one is in the Air Force and the other works in his dad’s business. One is outgoing and extroverted while the other is shyer and introverted. They went to church, played on sports teams, and were in Civil Air Patrol. They had plenty of socialization! I feel that they are well-rounded young men!

[cynsue]

I home schooled both of my children from first grade through high school, I don’t regret any of it. There were days that were very hard, my son especially didn’t want to follow directions sometimes, but we made it through and I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. Science experiments at the kitchen table, art projects, reading together, I was very blessed to be able to do that. They’re both successful adults now by successfully mean happy and fulfilled. They both graduated with honors from universities, they both have a variety of friends. You’ve got this momma!!❤️

[beckypetersen]

Thank you for this. Calling a normal high school situation "being socialized" is actually pretty scary. Home schoolers can function in the real world just fine - and that is what matters in the end. Not everyone or every family is created equal - and as such, that goes for regular school as well.

I have 5 kids - all are normal and function in the 'real world' of life. All five are college grads and have jobs. One is working on a doctorate. We did home schooling for grades 7 and up after going to public school here in Poland for elementary school - plus I worked with them in reading and math and other things in their first few grades so they would be able to be fluent in English at a native level.

[mortusdoll]

you guys are just too sweet! i understand people worry about socialising because in school environments theres usually a lot of unhealthy conflict, but school trauma needs to be unlearned and shouldnt be a mandatory life experience. Love the videos!

[r.l.]

I enjoyed my time at public school very much! My parents were both working and we could have never afforded to homeschool, it is a huge privilege to be able to. If you have the choice, I would strongly advice to involve the kids into the decision-making and reevaluate every now and then.

[AmaraEmme]

I’m an only child, and my parents were so busy pursuing their dream careers that homeschooling was not an option. I don’t think my parents would’ve been particularly good at it anyway. Luckily, they sent me to a great school, and learning was often a magical experience for me- we had fascinating field trips, and I still have lifelong friends from those days. I loved being in a classroom setting with 10-20 other kids, bantering and collaborating and competing, joking around, and having crushes. Given how introverted my parents were, school was the best opportunity for me to interact with a larger community of diverse people and learn how to navigate social politics.

[bloodbringerstyx]

I was put into a Homeschool co op after covid hit and it helped me TREMENDOUSLY! I have health issues and probably wouldnt have been able to get through conventional school and Graduate and now thx to homeschooling im off to college to persue the life I want to live! I couldnt be more thankfull to my parents, especially my Mom!

[mariannepoirier]

Homeschooling is not black and white, there are some parents who will do it right, and some people who can't as much, and you have to find when you start not being able to. My mother in law stopped at high-school for my boyfriend's family, because it would be too difficult for her, and I understand that. As long as you educate them well, you're not doing the wrong thing by homeschooling them.

[anzot]

I was socialized by a gaggle of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles (50+ people) of a variety of age ranges, personalities, interests, and strengths. I was socialized by a co-op with an age range from 0-18. I was socialized by the opportunity to take college classes in high school due to academic excellence and by early (legal) employment due to extra free time.

One of my friends, a public schooler, was socialized by bullies, by drug users and underage drinkers, by kids swearing and talking about sex. They were hardly ever exposed to people in a different age group. It significantly marred their adult life, by their own admission.

[YasuTaniina]

I really love the clarification in the description. I really want to homeschool my kids, but I'm too sick. Curse chronic illness. Hopefully one day I'll be able to get control of my health well enough to start homeschooling. For now I'm grateful to live in a fairly good school district and that my kids have good teachers who understand them. Hopefully next school year will go as well as this one

[christinen.]

I am a homeschool graduate and I thought of course I was going to homeschool my kids. Then we had six, two with significant special needs. We have homeschooled the first four at least one year, and the oldest two graduated from a homeschool hybrid program. It is such a blessing to spend more hours with your kids, especially in elementary school, but there's also no shame in choosing whatever option is best for your kid in their specific circumstance.

[ButterflyElsy]

I love this! I just finished first grade with my first of 4 children to homeschool and I have already learned so much in the realm of science and social studies! So many parents mention their lack of patience is what stops them from homeschooling. I think it is the most inaccurate idea that one must master patience BEFORE homeschooling- it comes as you go! We literally learn alongside our children!