An INTJ's Experience With Introverted Sensing (Si)

Introverted Sensing (Si) is weird and this is how I experience it.

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[djhorn]

A Jordan Peterson quote that sticks with me is “it’s ok to feel the way we feel, but we can’t live there”. He was using that when talking about depression and to take the time to feel what you need to feel and then start working towards a way forward.

I feel like that quote can be applied here. Constantly feeling like we need ti improve ourselves, but we don’t need to be living in a constant state of min/maxing our lives. Realizing that is true growth.

[PaleGhost]

If you're the same person for too long, you stop growing. If you stop growing, you start dying.

11:26 I think its disassociation. We see that stuff as separate from ourselves. Those moments people call "life" are just what happens in between our ideal. Like you remember working on something, but you disregard when you took time from that to have time with friends.

Every 10 years-ish, you are literally not the same person you were before. The person who made those memories laid the groundwork for you to be who you are today.

[The-Labbed-Life]

I can relate so much to everything that you said. I find taking care of yourself difficult, I feel they're like chores so it blows my mind when I meet people who do it naturally. I feel like not having Si as an INTJ woman is worse cause people expect you to be more caring automatically in everything that you mentioned.
When I think about the past, I either have a lot of blanks like I don't remember at all how it was or that it's negative too. It's a kind of dissociation but when it's about the future, wow, I can definitely imagine different possibilities for hours.

[nickolaszissimos]

This helps not only INTJs but us INFJs as well, we both have Si as our dead last cognitive function. Neither of us have allot of experience with it. Si illudes us in many many many ways. Also, yes, we Ni doms are the kings and queens of living experiences that never happened. I know my core being never needs to change and maybe that is my Si spot, my core being. The futre is where we are focused so often, the past is where Si doms love to hang. I must admit, running many scenarios in my head of something to find the best possible corse omes natural to us.

[jocelynleung]

It's the height of irony that Si is familiar to the Si-doms and novel to the Ni-doms 🤣 The Ni-doms pride themselves on being able to assess and model anything in the world; the more complicated, the better...anything, except the simple comfort of memories.

(Btw, spitballing is great! I love the raw, exploratory, rambling authenticity.)

[megham]

Thanks for posting even though it's rambly! I've been struggling with all this as well -- 32-year--old INTJ. Letting yourself feel comfortable and not feeling like certain aspects need to be improved...definitely hit home the way you phrased it! I've got an ISFJ mom and I feel like I anytime I "do" Si it's for the sole purpose of stopping her from worrying.

[Elaesbe]

Most of this resonates, good job expressing the ideas. Best thing I ever did was give myself permission to prioritize my sleep. It took until late 30s to realize I couldn't show up for anyone else or myself if I'm not giving my body regular sleep, and chronic sleep deprivation is not efficient in the long term anyway. Regarding long term memory, honestly thankful for the Se user ability to let the past go by getting rid of the totems. Take the lessons, forget the details. Maybe that is more unrealized immaturity to work on later.

[_Thunderball_]

1) Listen how you're talking about that park. It's not Si man. Si is about what you did there, what it means to you. What it was or is for you. You on the other hand from the sounds of it are chasing the feeling. How it made you feel.
2) I think the way how you look at your friends and the past is just you. I personally have never looked negatively or sorry about my past. It's something I had to do to get better, if I didnt make certain mistakes I would've probably made others or the same but later.
3) I think comfort is a function of Se. I feel about it exactly the same as you're describing it: I'm aware of it but it's constantly pushed away by something stronger (Ni). I've also noticed that my comfort requirements have considerably increased with age. Also regularly notice myself admiring (not jealous of, I dont know that feeling) high Se users. I notice that people tend to admire or be jealous of high users of their 4th function A LOT. Plays a big part in attraction too.
4) Oh, the thing about allowing myself to slow down for once and just enjoy the moment. I feels like it was just impossible before. Also, I think that's Se again. Si we're not supposed to ever cognitively acknowledge because it does same things as Ni but in a different way.

I have an ISTJ father and we have butted heads over our differences my whole life, we still do. I figured out some things that Si is for me based on what my father always does and I do so rarely that I cant even catch myself doing that:
- Faith. It's not just religion, but how you approach life. My father actually became religious later in life. I personally dont believe in anything, my father's world is standing on his faith, if it didnt exist he would be lost. He doesnt understand how it's possible to not believe that the Sun wont rise next morning, but I for me it's just a very high probability, and he cant comprehend that.
- Tradition. Desire to fit in. Propensity to focus on how other people see you instead of what you are or can be in the future. All my life I've been against tradition. I've never been able to fit in and never will. I do realize that this is probably the biggest advantage of Si and the reason why Si users are so common: they do what they're supposed to do and dont attact unwanted attention.
- Nostalgia. I dont know that feeling. This could be an ISTJ thing but my ISFJ aunt does this a lot too. It's very funny to hear them talk about past experiences, try and relive them, talk about how cool that moment was as if it just happened.
- Being detail-oriented and the tediousness that comes with it. Ngl pisses me off. Can someone explain why does it matter if it's 15C or 15.5C outside? What does it change? Checking the time every 30 minutes and having a very strong sense of time in general. I guess that's more of a byproduct of being a high Si user, but it's just foreign to me.

One thing that I havent seen to be true that is usually attributed to Si - memory. My memory is miles better than my father's but it's different. My father remembers way less things but what he does remember is in exceptional detail. He can cite texts/poems from memory, remembers details of events that happened 30 years ago, I just remember enough to keep track of the picture, I actually need something to remind me of specifics to remember them.

[farhankapadia]

As an INTP and my relationship with Si, I would attribute it to my Ne-Si axis. I like reminiscing in the past. Whether its good or bad. But with Ne, I can look at it from different angles and see what else I can learn from my prior experiences. I can understand and kinda touch upon I had back then, especially the ones that stick out. As all these accumilative experiences shape who I am today and who I will end up being in the future. Even when it comes to sense of direction, once I experience it, I get a good feel of my surroundings as like I'm leaving a trail so that I don't get lost, especially if I'm revisiting it. And I can find comfort in that. Which can also be detail oriented (ofc not perfect).

But as far the function in isolation, I can enjoy sensory experiences (contrary to INXP stereotypes) but its selective. Like I definitely value spending time with my friends (Fe) and even doing some sensory activities. Like for example, I go to the gym but I don't really do it for enjoyment. Just do it to help keep myself in shape alongside the physical and mental health (Si). So there's a maintenance aspect to it. Now it can make me a creature of comfort and can potentially make complacent in my environment or situation. I can adapt to changes to it, as long as the core aspects of my sensory environment more or less remains the same.

[annahannabanana]

I do think it's an INTJ thing. Ni, as a dominant function, is as natural as breathing to us. We can't shut it up even if we want to at times. I had to have a "quarter-life crisis" in order to realise how underdeveloped my Se is so that I try to reign back my Ni in an attempt to flip the coin more. Se (or is it Fe?) taught me that stagnancy is ok sometimes. It's ok to feel behind in life because you can't control every little chaos that occurs in the real world. You don't have to let Te constantly drive you to improve yourself. Sometimes, it's ok to slow down, connect with the present, and enjoy something in the tangible world just for the sake of enjoying it Fi style.

As fun as it is to be inside my head with Ni all the time, I need to balance it out with Se to feel that I'm actually living and not just dreaming away chasing "what can be." Si is incredibly hard for me, but I don't want to regret not reviewing my past (or taking enough photos anymore), so I force myself to look back into those memories more often, not to criticize who I was before or "what could have been, " but to see how much I've improved and actually give myself credit for that. I can't always be a control freak who never shows self compassion.

As with most INTJs, I am a perfectionist in the sense that where I am in the game of life is never good enough; I need to constantly strive for improvement because Ni is always showing me a more appealing future version of myself, of what I can become. Si taught me how to forgive previous versions of myself so that I can look back and actually Se reward myself for all the growth I've gone through. Si gives meaning to my past, showing that all my effort did not go to waste. Si tells me that I've done enough and (maybe Fe tells me that?) I am enough. Where Ni tells me that life is a destination, Se tells me that life is a journey, and Si tells me to value that journey so that life just doesn't pass by my eyes while I try to make my dreams come true.

Having said that, Ni ftw. I am an intuitive at heart. Even my awkward use of Si is in support of my Ni goals. Clearly, I have no idea how to Si quite like everyone else, and I have to accept that part of myself; at least I'm trying to Si.

[dominikabudovcova]

Hi, it's not a you thing, when I think about past I think about how stupid and small in mind I was. Future on the other hand, oh my, all the possibilities make me tingle xd. I'd also like to thank you for these videos, they bring a sense of being understood. <3

[maloneaqua]

I am an ENTJ but a lot of this does resonate with me – I can agree that to a certain extent there is some thing about introverted sensing that does tap into a positive sense of nostalgia for me, although generally speaking, I do not look upon the past very favorably, and I actually think it is dangerous to put the past on the pedestal. I think I had this issue with Starbucks for a few years actually – no matter what Starbucks you are in there is a level of consistency and expectations, and no matter what city I was traveling to – and I do travel a lot – it provided that for me. However, someone who is married to an introverted, sensing Dom, I am by no means someone with a lot of introverted sensing, nor do I believe that human beings should have but so much!

[BasedGodEmperorTrump]

36/M/OK/INTJ For me:
#5. Ne makes me paranoid about other people's intentions.
#6. Ti makes me self-critical and second guess my understanding.
#7. Fe (What are social cues?)
#8. Si makes me dwell on negative past experiences.

[RainbowRoadCrashTest]

Si in a vacuum itself. It's about taking ownsership and responsibilty, it's about grounding your self to find what's truly meaningful to you. It's about integrity in its core. When you have Si pairing Fi, it's about facing those emotions over and over until you finally understand it having integrity to your values no matter what, you have a better sense of your human self than you would with FiNi that's more archetypal as a result. Si pairing with Ti would keep hammering it in over and over again breaking its core fundamental to make much more sense of it. TiNi is much more generalistic and lacks in-depth, always thinking of the big picture but would fail to thoroughly explain why that is without Si. Intuition itself is more concurrent, while sensing itself is more consecutive. Concurrent is meshing it all in, while consecutive is going one at a time; it means it can be more impactful with one variable at a time instead of with multiple variables all at once.

[madlynlithasya]

We lived the same life. i literally can just sleep on the floor if i'm too tired to get to bed after work, but my mom (ESFJ) would scream at me if i do that.

I also have a bad memory and feels weird everytime i look at old pics, either trying to remember how it happened or just denying that memory cause i remember it being a bad time. I have a hard time recalling people's face, even my own face, it will take a lot for me to do.

Si however do come back at me with songs i listen to. I have playlists on spotify of each year i discover the songs to. And i always come back to playlist year 2017 for no reason.. but now as i listened to your story, i realized that that year was a good year before life got very confusing for me, and the songs gives me good feelings. I guess it made sense now.

[hidum]

I realized I suck with Si big time when I was watching movies and couldn't make sense of them. For example the cgi in the transformers movie. The fight scenes I was watching were literally going over my head. All I saw was chaos, but nothing I can make sense of at all. I had to watch them a few times to make sense of them. Maybe it was the camera angle to blame, or maybe it's just me.

[itsfriday-dz]

I can tell that I don't like to dig in my past, because (like you) I don't like the past version of myself. However, I've been working a lot with that since I have seen that it helps me to understand better the way I behave or how I am feeling about a certain situation .

[Aleysia]

My current understanding of Si is that it's something like physiological sense and memory. Hence anticipating or recognizing feelings of hunger, tiredness, comfort, etc. for what they are and attending to them. I think stereotypes of strong Si users being nostalgic about the past and reliving memories intensely, might originate from this. My ESTJ partner once described seeing a crow (which he loves) and it's like feeling and experiencing all of the past encounters he's had with crows at that same moment, rather than seeing just the crow actually in front of him. My mother is an ISTJ and her reactions to some things seem, from my external viewpoint, like a physiological response to that no one else can see because the associations live inside of her.

I'm not sure I'd describe Si not seeking improvement and just treating yourself well though -- that sounds more like Se to me. An Si user might have nice things, but more because they happen associate these things with comfortable or pleasant internal sensations. There's going to be a correlation there, but the goal is different. An Si user might also follow religious practices because they feel comforting.

Btw, I love your videos and ramblings!

~ An INFP

[Nivek-kzvk]

Hey john can you create community where we communicate each other as intj(like discord or other website etc it might me good to me cause i want to hear what other intj do and experiencing our functions do and have some tips or trick to this function and improve it. you get what i mean( its okay if you dont have to)

[shillout]

Yeah it's the same for me as an INFJ, living in my imagination of the possible future is way too comfortable, instead of actually doing things to change my present state.. And I love moving, maybe because I'm seeing it as starting a new chapter and moving away from the past me that I'm not too happy with. It's really difficult to find a balance and be content with the present, but as we mature and grow at least it gets better 😌