dear men

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Business Contact
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0:00 the all boys book club
0:50 my history with straight men
1:50 relationships & friendships
2:45 an interesting solution
3:20 gay men
4:00 the strength of difference
4:15 the future is bright
4:58 how this conversation began
5:50 see you soon
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Have a great week everyone x

[ConnorFranta]

my all boys book club has inspired me to discuss my past and present feelings about men... buckle up, folks

[gaaaayyyy]

ive noticed youve been using the word peaceful a lot lately. which is funny because that’s always been the word ive associated you with. love it. happy to hear your voice again 🤍

[wanji-]

The colour combination of your eyes and that sweater is absolutely gorgeous

[ArelyGonzalez]

Being scared to start a relationship because "what if he is secretly like the others" SPOKE TO MY SOUL 🖤

[graciecaton]

Realising I’ve been watching you for 10 years and literally gone from being a teen to having a real job and getting married. Thanks for being a calming constant.

[mahroshjavaid]

I love how everyone is finally starting the conversation around how we have alot of good female role models but not enough for especially in books and cartoons too! Especially good fathers figures on TV

[lise]

The way you form your sentences and the words you use are just 🤌🏼✨i love listening to you Connor :)

[Poseidonjd]

I've just turned 32 and I still, to this day, do not vibe with even one singular straight man, blood relative or not. I even avoid talking with my own, straight brother about some more serious stuff for too long because we just don't live in the same world and I know I'll pass for the crazy one trying to explain a lot of stuff.

[eleanorsherry]

2:35 I also think it's about not acknowledging your OWN humanity. anything you project outwards you project inwards. great video

[aaronlamarwalker]

“What if you’re secretly all like the others” YOU GET IT 😩😩😩 you get me

[val.]

What you said at the end reminded me of something Alok Vaid-Menon talks about a lot that really opened my eyes, which is that the reason so many people react so negatively to feminine men and other gender non-conforming people is that they’ve internalized since they were kids that they had to repress important parts of themselves in order to fit in, be respected, be successful, avoid mistreatment, etc., and so they do repress so much of who they are, and they’ve had to justify is to themselves. So seeing someone else go against these norms and be openly and confidently who they are is a threat to how they live their own lives - it makes them question “Could I have been doing that the whole time? Could I have been my true self?” And the easiest answer is “Surely not, surely there’s a reason I’ve hidden these parts of myself away, surely it’s worth it, surely doing anything else is wrong, surely THEY are wrong, not me.”

Of course, like you say, the strongest, bravest people are those who openly buck restrictive norms, and it’s hard to admit that you’re just not that brave (at least, not yet). I hope more and more people can get to a place where they realize the joy and freedom in being their true selves

[benpollock]

The bulk of my most difficult experiences in life have been brought on and/or exacerbated by men. I'm bisexual, but I am very much homo-romantic. I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who treats me really well and is emotionally healthy and communicative, but before meeting him I really struggled with meeting guys who were...dare I say decent human beings? I met a few good ones, but I also met a number of men who were wrapped up in themselves, their sexual appetite, and their label(s). Top, bottom, side, switch, femme, bear, twink, otter...almost all of the gay men that I met judged me and others based on my appearance and sexuality alone, and it really soured my overall view of interacting with almost any (cisgender) gay man. As for straight men, I am quite lucky to have a couple of amazing straight male friends, but (like you, Connor) I have almost always found myself gravitating toward potential friends that are not straight men. Intimidation and a fear of being judged for who I am play big roles in that, but I also feel that I am missing out on some great people (and vice versa).

[vini_cavalcanti]

when you said "i dont date ou fall in love easy bc i'm thinking what if he is secretly like all the others" OMG THIS. i get now why i have been single for so long. thanks for the video

[cupidchrs]

This is exactly how I feel in my youth right now and I’m trying to figure it all out. I haven’t related to something like this in a while which brings me comfort

[heartshrvy]

YEAA NEW VIDEO! so happy to see you again

[jonnycarry]

loveeee thank you for spreading positive vibes as always 🥰

[teejayy]

Everyone of your videos is a winner with Mr. My head feels better after listening to you😊❤

[AlexanderJWF]

Giovanni's Room is MANDATORY reading for any queer masc individual! Highly suggested!

[Zoejo]

Love this video as always! I do have a bit of constructive criticism though about the thing you're sponsoring. I know you always have the best intentions, especially around mental health; however, BetterHelp shouldn't be given the promotions that it does, as there's a lot of evidence on the fact that no one on the platform are licensed therapists, nor have they been trained to actually be helpful. Overall it's a scam that does more harm than good, so I recommend looking deeper into that information if you're curious, as well as finding sponsors that are more ethical. Hope you understand. Love you! 💛

[khaledmostafaa]

Love your openness in discussing this! I am a therapist and I think you should check out The Will To Change - Men, Masculinity and Love by bell hooks. I recommend it in my practice all the time and leads to wonderful conversations!