Crazy Things Kindergartners Tell Their Teachers

Oh, the things kids say! 🤣

[bethludema]

When I told a Kindergarten class that I was pregnant, one of them raised their hand and said that her daddy was pregnant too! I just laughed and said "okay honey", and then she said " his baby is made of cheeseburgers!" 😂

[Freaysclaw]

My brother and sister were in a hospital room together before surgery. The nurse came in and asked with a smile which one was the boy and which one is the girl. My sister, 6 at the time, look at the nurse and said, “if you can’t tell a boy from a girl you have no business being a nurse.” 😂

[keithjr.hannah]

Walked into the lobby of a church we were visiting. Some old guy walks up to our 3 year old son and asked him what his favorite toy was...kid said it was 'hookers'. (Those would be semi trucks and trains that hook.). Total silence in the lobby.

[hgcropp]

I’m a hairstylist not a teacher but here you go.

I had a kid go on about how you shouldn’t run with scissors and eventually started going on about how you shouldn’t run with other sharp objects and eventually said “you shouldn’t run with hoe’s” I had to stop and laugh he of course meant the gardening tool but my mind went to the other kind of “hoe.” It gets better his dad chimes in and said “You can do that in college”… me and all my coworkers were dying of laughter.

[AmandaFerguson-mn]

I have a little girl in my class who only speaks Spanish (I'm the aide). At the beginning of the year it took some time for her to get the idea that she was supposed to line up at recess when the teacher blew the whistle. One day one of my boys asked why she was always last in line. I said, "because she doesn't line up when Mrs. P. blows the whistle." He looked at me and said, "I think it's because Mrs. P. blows the whistle in English and K only speaks Spanish. Mrs. P should learn to blow the whistle in Spanish." :)

[maryellenackroyd]

I always told my kinders parents that I’ll believe half of what they tell me about home, if you believe half of what they tell you about school! 😂😂👍🏼. Please speak with me first!!

[groovygrandmama]

I was a hospice nurse. So my son went to kindergarten and proudly told the teacher his mama was a nurse, then as a after thought he turned back around and said “ but all her patients die”.

[colleenobrien]

I was a Nanny for 17 years. Here’s a sentence I never thought I would hear myself say, “Please take your toes out of your mouth and eat your carrots.”

[betsyetoddlerteacher]

This is more sweet than funny, and my students are in Pre-Kindergarten, but they asked me if my doctor had to take a long time to listen to my heart because I love them so much. We were using stethoscopes on Valentine's Day. I will never forget that Circle Time moment. I am very fortunate to have such a fun career.

[judiguizado]

I had a Kindergarten boy tell me that he was getting an iPhone for his 5th birthday and wanted to share his code. I explained that he should only tell his parents and no one else. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “That’s okay. You’re old and won’t remember it anyway.”
Sadly, the little “darling” was right because I forgot it almost immediately. 😩

[deniseposey]

Several years ago I had a kinder come in the room on the first day of school. He looked me in the eyes and asked if I had a cell phone. He said he wanted me to call his mom and tell her everything was alright, because “ she is a mess.”

[pg]

I'm going back to the 80s... I was wearing green tights (panty hose), yes I know I know but they were a thing back then, when a little boy stopped dead in his tracks, looked me up and down and said " Miss, why have you got legs like the incredible Hulk?" Guess what? Never wore them again

[patmaurer]

My daughter worked as a nanny and, when she was expecting, the children (3 & 5, I think) pleaded with her to take the baby out so they could play with it. "We'll be very careful and put it right back when we're done!" Apparently, they thought there was a latch to open, like the trunk of a car! 😂😂

[tomreingold]

Last year, I worked as a one-on-one paraprofessional for a kindergarten student. I was there to manage her behavior which tended to be violent. Most of the time, she wasn't violent. One day, she turned to me and sweetly asked me if I have a job.

[kathyfritz]

When I taught K, I had one little munchkin give me a big hug, only to then comment, “Gee, you’re wide!” 💀

[sshaw]

My little people just stared and stared when we first started school. One day I finally asked, “what are you guys looking at?😂😂”. The school was predominantly black, I am not. One little boy asked, “…is your hair real? Can we touch it?” 😂😂😂😂 my hair is white/grey. I let them, giggle fest ensued, as they touched my hair. it’s soft! Feels like clouds!”😂😂😂

[jennys]

Taught Kinder for 7 years. At least once a week I had to make a call that started with “Everything is ok, but I just want you know what your kid is telling people…”

[mishawriter]

Not Kindergarten, but PreK, a student asked me why I was fat (which, admittedly, I am). I said "I don't know, what do you think?" to see what he would say. His response was absolute gold. "Was it because you ate junk food even when your mom told you not to?" to which I said "Absolutely."

[melissacrofts]

Years ago, I had a student tell me that her mom sometimes has to shave her dad's butt.😂

[rebekahd]

One of my kindergarteners told me that she knew a secret. Without skipping a beat, she told me that last night when her mother left for work, her dad's "secret friend" came over and they "took a nap" together. Then her dad told her not to tell her mom and he would get her ice cream.