History's Best(?) Couples — Valentine's Day Special

Celebrate Valentine's Day with a look at some of the best couples in history. Well, "Best" is a stretch — definitely most entertaining — but the pairings on display today are FAR from healthy. Enjoy the slow descent into insanity that is "Me Discussing These Stories".

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[OverlySarcasticProductions]

Oops! Looks like Blue scheduled this video about ten hours early. Nobody panic! -R

[ellendavis]

Caesar really pulled a “your mama” on Brutus

[teodoraristic]

"The emperor only had eyes for one person, his son"
*oh no*
" 's wife"
*oh ok*

[Limrasson]

"Everything is the World is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power."

[leem]

Marie was 15 when they married, and she spent nowhere near what some of the other nobles spent on clothes. Marie gets dunked on a lot, but it wasn't her fault. Her last words were to her executioner, apologizing for stepping on his toes.

[riptidesatyr]

“The real sorrow here is the decline of good governance.”
One of blue’s biggest fears, that and the ocean

[jasonblalock]

"Every woman's man, and every man's woman" is one of the best lines I've heard in awhile. I guess Rome just didn't appreciate switches.

[merrittanimation]

"Caesar! Are you passing notes in the Senate!"
"N-no!"
"I'm gonna have to send you to the Consul."

[Petrico]

"It's okay to be gay, but only if you're the top." Definitely sounds like the Romans. One part progressive one part mental gymnastics why it's okay for Rome to take everything but not the greeks

[PsychShrew]

"Morning is a stretch, because she woke up around noon"
Big mood

[eview.]

Julius Caesar: *bangs a king*
All of Rome: Silence, Bottom!

[chrisc]

"Why y'all being homophobic to Caesar?"
"Homophobic? Naw, its fine he's gay, he's just a bottom."

Impeccable

[sammather]

“The emperor only had his eyes on one woman, his sons wife”. This is how you get assassinated in Tang Dynasty China. But the son didn’t do that, so big props to him for both not starting the civil war and not joining it once someone else started it.

[clarenceonyekwere]

Cato: Read the letter out loud

Caesar: um, yeah.. no

Cato: READ THE LETTER

Caesar: I really don’t think that’s a good idea

Cato: READ IT

Caesar: If you insist...

[rinflame]

"The only thing Caesar couldn't smash was Parthia." - somehow deserves its own T-shirt.

[calamityjenn]

Louis XVI had neither "pee pee too big" nor "pee pee too small." He had a condition where skin was connected on his member in a way that made "standing at attention" painful. It was only after Marie Antoinette's big brother came and realized the situation that Louis allowed the surgery his doctors had been trying to convince him to undergo for years previously. Badda bing, badda boom, their first child, a daughter, was born the next year.

[theraginginfernape]

Can we get F's in the chat for Blue, who literally had to research the dong size of a dead king?

[russergee]

“Why can’t you just let this poor library ace live his life?”

I never thought I’d relate so hard to a sentiment directed at Louis XVI

[kevinmerlos]

As a wise man once said: “learning is fun, and learning demands sacrifice.”

[pinkwings]

Marie Antoinette waking at noon to hot chocolate before frolicking in lace, silk, and pearls through her romantic cottagecore garden is how I want to live my life.