Reflecting on 'It Ends With Us' #shorts

[randomamy]

Justin Baldoni made a really good point in an interview. We always ask “why do women stay?” and never “why do men hurt?” I really admire his efforts to bring attention to men’s mental health. Often men are made to feel by society that it makes them weak to address their emotions and mental health.

[BougieAshr]

This was my exact takeaway from reading the book a couple of years ago. I always thought it was crazy how some people stay with an abusive partner but reading the book made me realize that it’s not that easy when you’re in that situation.

[randifaye]

My bestie just asked me this question the other day. Why do people stay? She and I have had a few conversations about this. Coming from an abusive relationship I can say that it is complicated. And it’s so difficult to explain all the different factors. Being out now for almost 6 years I am finally beginning to find some words to explain. My bestie also mentioned how people can sometimes find healthy relationships boring after being in an abusive relationship. These are definitely important conversations to have! Thank you for bringing this up. 💖

[SoftLightASMR]

As someone who was in an abusive marriage I can tell you that you don't see it until you want to see it... for me, I didn't see it until he choked me out on the batbroom floor.

[Merbella]

Abuse is rarely at the onset and blatent. It's more of a slow burn once you're trapped or demoralized. It makes it harder to leave, which is their plan 😢

[Lveyou]

I was the same way. How could these people stay in these horrible relationships? Until it happened to me. This was 3 years ago but it took me 9 months to leave and realize that this person is never going to change, I’m going to continue to be verbally and physically abused unless I leave.
When he told me “I could bury you in the backyard and no one would know” I knew I was leaving and never turning back.
Empty promises, they will always say whatever to get you to stay. Yet turn around and do it again and again. I was caught up in such a tangled web I can’t believe I didn’t see what was unfolding right in front of me. Felt so blinded.. glad I woke up.

[ysabelsierra]

as someone who got out of a few really bad relationships at 18 and 19, thank you so so much for saying you have a greater understanding and can empathize, it means the world.

[mp]

I haven’t seen the movie personally, but as someone who has been in that situation, no one will really understand why we stay unless they’re in it themselves. Trust me I would beat myself up as to why I was still staying, but I couldn’t imagine life without that person and I knew that was bad, so I tried my hardest to get out and 2 years later I’m still standing and much better

[sashacardenas]

I used to lack the compassion until I experienced it myself🙏🏼❤️will watch

[t.j.]

Because not every day is horrible. They make promises to do better and apologize for what they did. I stayed 5 years for my son because I wanted him to have a mom and dad together. But when my 4 year old looked at me and said “Why is my daddy a monster?” I knew I had to leave. I wish I could say I immediately left but I didn’t. You are mentally and physically broken. But I finally called his bluff and left and he didn’t kill me. I know I am one of the lucky ones who got away. It was a long battle for years afterwards. But now my son is 16 years old and we are safe.

[MsJRose]

I lived it took me almost a decade and leaving for my kids safety it does happen gradually. I’m a very bold strong woman and still don’t understand how I ended up there.

[liveandlove]

As a domestic violence survivor, the hardest and most interesting part to watch was how when she accepted that she was being abused, the perspective shifted and you saw the real man for who he was.

[krisrobinson]

That is exactly why i cant wait to watch with my husband. He doesnt understand at all the 10 year relationship prior to him where i was physically and mentally abused badly and why i stayed so long and it is so hard to explain

[Jessicable]

I was always that friend that would wake my friends up to the abuse. But no one woke me up, it took me 20 years.

[BriannaPresto]

Abby 100% is understanding just the surface level of it. To any person that has never experienced it, would not understand it. To someone in it, it becomes confusing to us. How someone is raised also affects things. I hate why people ask why someone stays and instead wants to understand or atleast not judge. ❤

[veronicaleon]

What you said 👍
It was a moving movie.
I watched it not knowing there was drama around it. When I found out about the drama I was saddened that some ppl might be dissuaded from watching it.

[boowill]

Reading the comments here. Its common unfortunately. Mine is a little different. Been together 20yrs witha child and things only escalated more once he got out of the military. 20 yrs in...at this point. Its not easy to just jump off the plane into the ocean.

[codieratliff]

Honesty I've been un several physical emotional and mental abuse and I have literally been beat when I was pregnant with my last baby his bio dad tried cutting him out of me and everything I tried to leave he would just hit me more or try to k**l me I was terrified. Nobody understands unless they have been through it.

[aPrIL]

My best friend is in this situation I literally can't convince her otherwise

[shellbellhealing]

Abuse is extremely complicated. Often we don't even know we're being abused. Gaslighting, double minded Ness, trauma bonding, Stockholm syndrome.

There's also a lot of shame and sometimes we carry their guilt too and start to believe it is our fault especially when abuse starts in childhood. We gotta stop blaming victims and hold perpetrators responsibility