Voltaire & Rousseau's Best Friend Breakup – Valentine's Day Special

Watch as two of the smartest men in French history bravely push the bounds of being the pettiest, most toxic idiots possible.

SOURCES & Further Reading:
Rousseau’s Discourse on the Arts and Sciences, Discourse on Inequality, Confessions
Voltaire’s Candide

MUSIC:

Our content is intended for teenage audiences and up.

[OverlySarcasticProductions]

Happy Valentine's Day Eros and Psyche pins are back in stock for a limited time!
-B

[GeneralArin]

"throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed up a photo of him to put on your wall"

[Talisguy]

Punishing a French satirist who annoyed you by exiling him to England is so efficient - you make both Voltaire and his host country suffer.

[Ryjck]

Voltaire: I am going to be your problem
Rousseau: I am going to be your problem
Geneva: And all of this is going to be my problem

[Anime-Control]

They had whatever Lego Batman and Joker had going on

[Shogeton]

This made me go look it up. And there are two Voltaire/Roueeau fics on Ao3. One in Chinese, one in Spanish.

[yasmine]

damn RIP Voltaire and Rousseau, you 2 would’ve LOVED twitter

[BenHowe]

"If a rivalry lasts longer than 7 years, then you are no longer just rivals. You are gay"

[boooksareamazing]

F*ck yeah, toxic-wholesome philosopher yaoi, nothing better.

The “Only place worse than jail is Britain” bit is killing me.

Why is this such a perfect example of “Excuse me? I’m the only one allowed to trash talk him?” They even pulled off the classic romance trope of “dying way too close to each other timewise to be platonic.”

[FuzzyStripetail]

Voltaire inviting Rousseau to his estate to drink milk from his cows was the original milkshake that brought (or Voltaire-d) all the boys to the yard.

[SlackDaPoet]

4:34 Rousseau called her mommy y'all I can't lol

[PlutonicFriend]

This video made me remember seeing a fancy 18th century clock in a Paris museum called "The Dispute of Rousseau and Voltaire". It's got little statues of them arguing. I now find it hilarious. Thank you for this.

[ZombieSlayerTakashi]

These two basically lived rent free in each others heads.

[AskMia]

I'm taking care of a one month old baby, and he fell asleep while I was watching. When I paused to make a comment, he woke up fussing, then calmed down once I started the video again. Congrats Blue, apparently you have a perfect baby soothing voice even when roasting old philosophers 😂. The baby and I are grateful.

[loren_darkwing]

‘Murder Soulmates’ being used for every friendship gone sour but is still visible is the perfect way to describe this whole thing. EVERYONE at the time could practically see it.

[thelonewanderer]

*Blue talks about Voltaire doing lottery things*

and now that line from the Philosopher's Epic Rap Battles of History makes so much sense

[Jane_]

“Brief stint in Prissia” you can’t ignore Voltaire’s weird relationship with Frederick the Great!

[peanutgallerygaming]

I love how absolutely obsessed they clearly were with each other. Having all of the other's publications in their private library? AND they possibly never met in person?? Hilarious, thank you.

[mirjanbouma]

New rule: unless your relationship is as complex as Voltaire and Rousseau's, you don't get to describe it as "it's complicated".

[Pucadoodles]

Their relationship dynamic feels like a mixture of Statler & Waldorf and Bert & Earnie but with a heavy béchamel of frenchness layered over it.