4 Helpful Rules for Discernment

When we are discerning God’s will in our lives, we often get overwhelmed by the anxiety of making the right choice and don’t permit ourselves to consider what we actually want. In this video, Fr. Mike Schmitz encourages us to weigh all the choices that are open to us, good for us, wise, and desired by us. The last of the four is often overlooked, so Fr. Mike explains why it is just as important to pay attention to our heart’s desires as it is to consider the other three factors when we are discerning a decision.

Fr. Mike is also a presenter in the following programs from Ascension:

[acolish]

Door #4 has been really important for me in my journey. For a large period of my life, I thought that God's desires were an entirely different thing from my own desires. Practically speaking, this meant that God's will for me was normally something that I didn't want or desire and would be painful for me, as if doing God's will meant to deny who I am and what I want. This couldn't be further from the truth. As I've grown in my relationship with God and in Christian maturity, I've discovered that God's will for me is already written on my heart. If I am honest, and I sit before the Lord in prayer and ask him about an important decision in my life, I normally discover in the deepest depths of my heart a desire already present for the the choice God is inviting me to make. Another way of saying it is that my deepest desires are themselves God's invitation to walk through the door.

Great video as always Fr Mike! Thanks for the moment to stop and reflect on the Christian Life.

[lisamarie]

1. Is this a good/neutral door? (God has not already spoken out against it)
2. Is this an open door? (The "door" has not already told me no and I could actually walk through it)
3. Is this a wise door? (Think now. Will this help me live the life and be the person God wants me to be)
4. Is this a door that I want? (Free will)

[tau]

Great advice, Fr. Mike. I personally like to add going to confession and receiving the Eucharist before making a decision thereby leaving my whole heart open and being connected to God without any hindrance.

[hollyandstuff]

Good, open, wise, desired

I like it

[neenutomi]

Augustine defines evil as disordered love, and good as rightly ordered love: loving God with the love of adoration, our neighbors with charity, and the things of the world with moderation, to use them but not give our whole hearts to them. We are to use things and love persons, not use persons and love things. We are to adore God and use creatures, not adore creatures and try to use God.
That's rightly ordered love.

[jerusalem]

I was confused for so long about my vocation. I knew that I wouldn’t make a good mother but I was scared of the other options. Finally, God spoke to my heart and deep down I knew that I was called to be a religious. It took me a little while to used to the idea, but after a couple of days I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and joy!

[josephjackson]

One thing I'd like to point out is that the seminary, even with a shortage of priests, isn't always the best door for everyone

[SrEngr]

My wife uses T.H.I.N.K (True, helpful, inspirational, necessary, kind) to tell my daughters how to discern what to say to others. It is interesting to see how there are some commonalities between what you are saying and this.

[denakelley]

I know Fr. Mike directs his ministry at young adults, but I'm 47 and always get so much out of what he has to say. I'm in the process of trying to discern God's will for me in a volunteer role. This is helpful. Thank you.

[carolinpurayidom]

5:22 that's so sweet such a supportive and loving parent we have in God

Thank you father Mike!!! I was looking for something like this :) I was stressing out about making choices in my life and at the same time doing God’s will. Then it hit me that I was actually not wanting the responsibility of making a choice (indecisiveness) so I wanted to let God handle it.
Now I know I have to work and pray harder to be responsible for what I want to pursue, being confident that my Lord will be on the other side of the door I choose to open.
This just brought peace to my heart, and I feel happier about my future and enthusiastic about God’s plans for my family.

“Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything”.

[jeanie]

At 5:00 I almost began to cry. I feel suddenly so enlightened and relieved about decisions, not just current ones but past ones. Never knew really, or never appreciated, that my desire is an okay part of the equation (even though I've always told my kids who are young adults now, "Sometimes God's will and your own desires match; it's not like God's will is always going to be opposite of yours or necessarily hard.") (Seems like I can take my own advice, but I never realized that until I heard Fr. Mike say it just now!) And it is so liberating to know that between two choices, both can be good. Being "choices" doesn't necessarily mean they are diametrically opposed ipso facto, nor that if they are opposed one is 'bad' and the other 'good'. They can both be good even if in apparent opposition. (Ex: Go to college or start a business? Get married or become a religious?) Wow, I am so relieved.
I could cry. I mean it. I have struggled wondering if I made wrong or even "bad" choices in my youth, like if I totally missed God's signals and graces and maybe overlooked a decision God was pointing me to. But now I think I can be at peace with decisions I've made, stop wondering "what if?" and know that one or the other decision was good and that God is with me here. What a gift of peace I have just received. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit gives Fr. Mike the right words said in the right way! Yeeha~!

[plattyplatt]

Ah yes, yet another video that I need to hear. Totally not coincidental. Thanks for the video!

[joyceempremiado]

Discernment/ prudence is also important in how we give our impression of others.

[jorgecampos]

I am not afraid to take decisions, but I only ask God never lose my inner peace. Since inner peace grants me the self conviction that what I am doing is not only "what I want", but God is not against that decision, and it is this that grants me the courage, strength and determination to persist even when I know I must overcome obstacles and hardships by taking such decisions.

[chinjujoseph]

Wow....I just can't believe.. bang on right

[childofjesusandmary]

You’ve just made a weight on my heart feel a little lighter Father!!! Thank you!! ✝️❤️‍🔥🌹

[oliviarapavi]

Ahhh perfect timing. SUCH a good video. So much wisdom. My weekly bit of spiritual direction ❤

[simonhughes]

Thank you! This was amazing, from Waterloo, Ontario :)

[mariapropst]

ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THIS VIDEO IN A TIME I REALLY NEEDED IT, THANKS SO MUCH, PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE A BLESSING TO ALL THOSE WHOSE HEART YOU TOUCH, , THE DOOR CONCEPT IS REALLY GOOD TO RELATE TO, HENCE UNDERSTOOD IT SO I CAN DECIDE.... THANK YOU FATHER MIKE!!!