10 Questions You Should Never Ask Anyone - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom

Never Ask These Questions!

10 Questions You Should Never Ask Anyone - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom

Video Transcript:

“I learned very early about questions nobody should ever ask anybody. When I was a child, it seemed once a week someone would ask my mother, what do you do all day? Because she didn’t work outside the home, even though they knew she was raising eight boys.

The questions we ask tend to quickly reveal how smart we are or how lacking we are in emotional intelligence.

Here are 10 questions to delete permanently from your vocabulary:

1. Are you on a diet?

2. Is that your real job?

3. Why don’t you have children?

4. Have you gained weight?

5. Don’t you feel embarrassed about doing that?

6. Why didn’t you invite me?

7. Are you really going to wear that?

8. What are you so angry about?

9. Why are you still single?

10. Do you know how many calories are in that?

The quality of a relationship can be measured by the quality of the questions that pass between two people. By asking people questions, we gain unique insight into who they are, what matters to them, and what they know more about than anything else in the world. Every person is fascinating when asked the right questions. Don’t waste your questions.”

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[EvanAtkins]

People ask my mother the same thing all the time. So rude. I love this listI I also love the quote, "Everybody is fascinating if you ask them the right questions." Thanks for this wonderful perspective. Love Life is Messy!

[lukerica]

Don't waste your questions! Great video, Matthew. I particularly agree with "Why are you still single?" and "What are you so angry about?".

[madelineharris]

Questions are so important, especially the right questions! Thank you for sharing your 60 second wisdom series, Matthew. I’d love to hear a TED Talk by you on the topic of emotional intelligence.

[ashleydias]

Really liked this 60 Second Wisdom...interesting way to think about emotional intelligence! Thanks, Matthew! Think you'd be great doing a Ted talk!

[tonyferraro]

It is so hard to recover from a bad question in a relationship. Great points here, Matthew. Thank you. I'd love to see you discuss this with Tony Robbins.

[alicyr]

"Do you know how many calories are in that?" We all need to remember that our questions can be dehumanizing/patronizing for other people and treat everyone with respect. Thank you for another great video! Would love to see you on Dominique Sachse's channel.

[KateVolmanMedia]

As always, this is so good! I've been asked a few of these and it never feels good. This is such great advice. Thank you for sharing, Matthew.

[sandranoworul]

Such great advice Matthew! Don’t waste your questions. People are fascinating if you get to know them and ask them about their hopes and dreams. The communication model you share in your book The seven levels of intimacy was a game changer for me. When will we get to see you do a Ted talk??

[createdbless]

Thank you Matthew Kelly ❤️ I’m guilty of having asked some of those questions 😭

[cbsteffen]

I know of another one you must never ask anyone: Do/Don’t you have brains and brawn? You never ask that because no matter whom you ask, that person will answer yes, and some people will lie when say that out of refusal to clearly prove that!

[cindymmc.]

Luckily, when my mom was a stay at home mom so were all my friends and we had the best summers that was the days we could just walk into each other's homes and be treated like family.

[BindingTheYoke]

It's funny but as much as I believe people ought to have a certain sensitivity to others, I also believe that they have a right to be who they are at that moment and if they ask me stupid questions, or I accidentally trigger some emotional reflex in them, how they (or I) respond to it is more revealing than pandering to feelings. I've had so many people hurt me by their words that never knew about it (because I can be stoic at times) but find myself brooding until I get to the source of pride or woundedness and realize I lack holy detachment in that area and it's a virtue in need of working on. God doesn't expect me to babysit peoples emotional climate (since He sure doesn't send me anyone who tends to mine lol) and I am sure vice versa is true. He wants us to develop virtue, and if you do not accept that you will be sand paper to some people no matter how loving you are you'll end up neurotic and on the contrary if you constantly pander to peoples feelings they'll never grow.
2c ~_~

[simonpeter]

Most of those questions seem to be putdowns in the form of questions, because they don't really want an answer.

[gregnagel]

I can understand not asking other adults these questions, but how about our children, especially our teens? I think asking teens why they are choosing to dress a certain way, or what they are upset about, is fine. After all, as their parents aren't we supposed to ask them questions, keep them thinking, instead of telling them what to do?

[lynnesanchez]

Do you know how many times I have been asked these questions- just the morning why didn’t you get remarried.

[pigsshania]

11. Is that your natural hair color? (this can be continuous!)

[leilakackley]

You forgot this one: Are you pregnant/When is your baby due?

[pigsshania]

I want to add more. E.g. Are you going to eat that?

[douglastranghese]

Why have you stopped talking about Christ?