Why the Techlead's wife really left him.

focus = control over your feelings

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Timestamps:
0:00 The Techlead's wife left him and took his son
0:40 All my girlfriends left me
3:31 Communication woman vs. man
5:25 Men are not aware of their feelings
6:10 Girls/women need emotional stability
8:46 Make sure that you feel good and the girl will never leave you
10:49 One catch

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[missMagbeth]

As a woman i completely agree. Thank you for putting an effort in trying to figure that out. I always feel what my partner feels. I thought that men just like to hide their feelings from everyone and pretend. But from your video i understand that they may not be aware of their feelings themselves. Wow

[BobbaFett]

"Such nice guy"? Dude is gaslighting psycho

[ibuprofenPill]

After watching his videos, it became quite clear to me he’s a narcissistic egomaniac. I wish he would have just stuck to the subject matter, but he constantly interjected personal information. When he started posting nothing but crypto videos, I unsubscribed.

[KohenChia]

Does anyone here actually know any facts surrounding the incident?

[marspark]

Quite a title bait video. It's not a video about techlead but about all man-woman relationships

[mzealtb]

Tech lead isn't a good husband, emotionally distant; puts the drama on youtube. Complains about child support like he's the victim and innocent.

[criptik]

Who came here after his new video on japan visit

[harunskywalker]

What the hell are you talking about???

[mgyycbj]

you are translate idealistic thoughts "you should not have mental sickness or instability, otherwise your women will not love you and leave you". But hey! We are all humans and can't predict and control all our emotions, feelings, etc. You are make too much value to women and remove any responsibility from them.

[nikitaw]

U really drag it out what a mess. Whats the synopsis of this video?

[Fibonacciever]

Excellent synopsis my friend. Great style. Much clarity. Big respect.

[Ezinma]

Did anyone else find the super close up view in this video a bit much? Or, maybe it's the slight pixelated quality to the video?

[JoRiZz]

I came here because I thought there was some dirty laundry on Techlead. I was very disappointed.

[giannitedesco]

His uncontrolled narcissistic personality disorder?

[coolhead]

Depending on the level of maturity in the woman. If she needs to be entertained all the time then she is not right for marriage. Marriage involved a lot of day to day responsibilities. Not only the man in the marriage needs to grow up, but the womn also. The reason men are attracted to immature women is because they are fun to be with. These girls are willing to go anywhere and do anything with you. But they are not fit for marriage. After marriage either they will leave the boring marriage life or you will divorce them because you have enough.

[oniondesu]

the fact that your children can be taken away from you forever when you have done nothing bad but just didnt understand how a womans complex emotions work, is pure evil. not to mention there is zero recourse.

[testaccounttest]

This is a pretty naive view and doesn't understand Techlead's mindset.

As a male immigrant software developer from a developing country I think its important to understand the background to which many of us belong. I believe the techlead also does so.

Men in Asian countries are generally expected to withstand all emotional shocks. This is like annealing where you shock them and cool them really quick without giving them time to settle (check the academic structure of all asian countries especially for STEM). This causes men(as they are still majority in stem) to either become really hard and emotionally brittle (ask them when they last cried and most won't even remember. Honestly years pass!!) or completely deteriorate and go in severe depression (check out depression and suicide statistics in these countries). Maybe you won't even get older depression stats as most people don't even bother to collect them, leave the social stigma of reporting.

The second part is the tech industry. No tech person likes to be called a "geek" or a "nerd". It is a cost you have to pay in your social moulding when you develop 1000s of lines of complex software. We have put 100s of hours in this to get it working and have no simple words to describe what we do to our spouse/child/non tech manager as well at times. You don't need any therapy for this, just more socializing after attaining a stable career. Techlead was an early game creator and a founder, most people might not even realise how much dedication that needs and how much risk and patience is involved in the initial phase.

The third reason I suspect and am not sure about is financial and family background. My friends from India have taken huge loans to come to US, more than twice their initial home country salary. This makes many people to live on the bare minimum and fear the nightmare of going back jobless. Try living with Indian MS CS students in comparatively less expensive university accomodation and you will know what I mean. With this experience, any luxury over and above appears huge and every peny is accounted for (maybe that's why we aren't known for tipping well.)

Now let's come to the perspective of such a person's spouse coming from a completely different background especially if it was more risk free or stable. Most psychological pressures and stresses perceived as really strong might be considered as non-existent as we (techies) have gone through much worse (and not unharmed to clarify). The downside being many techies not giving much importance to health, looks, hobbies, etc and failing to give their best to possible spouse or actual spouse. (Maybe that's why they have a spouse from the same country in an "arranged" marriage).

Now consider the Techlead's videos and his success. All factors that make his behaviour as it is are the same as what made him successful techlead. The same factors gave him the emotional stability and also the emotional blindness. The same factors allow him to give the best expensive gifts and also make him less available emotionally. You can't feel the pain equally and also be able to bear much more of it.

Most of us techies are still men so many women don't know these things. I do agree with the conclusion that conversations help a lot but these need a lot of patience as the social and emotional background is very different. In case you are a spouse of a techie please give him/her more time and try to make him/her open up much more.

That's why I dislike this video.

[deepstatecia]

This is the most scary creepy guy I have ever seen.

[moviesynopsis]

I dont think this is correct. I personally believe after his wife left is when all of his negative traits came to light. As a divorced father I can tell you alot of what tech lead said was spot on about how he described his wife abusing him.

[landoc]

Patrick just has a very masculine sense of humor: dripping sarcasm, rational, mocking emotions.

For us as his fans it's funny, but that sort of humor must be tough as hell for anyone who has him as a friend, and impossible for a wife. I'm not even sure Patrick has any friends.