Why I Hate Responding to the Question of Rape

Rachel Crawford explains why this difficult case of pregnancy is not as straightforward as some people seem to think it is and how it ultimately does not justify abortion.

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[CivilRespect]

This is usually my response: "No one denies that abortion exists to reduce human suffering, particularly suffering at the hands of women. The question is, 'At what cost?'. For many in the Pro Life community, sacrificing the existence of our own children is too much of a price to pay." While I haven't changed any hearts or minds with this approach, it does allow for a respectful dialogue that ensures we both understand the other's perspective. In this day and age of incivility, that is enough for me.

[AlbanyRose]

This was beautifully addressed. Well done 🖤

[luzr.e.]

I know how awful it can look and feel like since one of my cousins was brutally raped by four men when she already had three children. She was infected with hepatitis C, and became pregnant. Nobody knew in my extended family except for my nuclear family, since my mom decided she would recover from the wounds and the hepatitis in our home. We would not use the same dishes or utensils she used, we would boil those after washing them with a separate sponge and separate dish soap. I was only 10 years old back then.

My mom didn't tell us, however, that she was pregnant, but she had a radio show at the time and she met a couple who really wanted to adopt a baby, so she arranged everything for that loving couple to adopt the baby. There was no money involved there.

It wasn't until I was 20 and "the baby" was 10 that my mom told us we were actually his relatives (we had attended every piñata party since he was born, and I often wondered why his parents kept saying that he looked and behaved a lot like me, then everything made sense).

My cousin finally told her mom about the whole thing and my aunt gave her a long tight hug. They were both in tears when my aunt told my cousin, "You were conceived in rape, too, but God was good with me and helped me heal through loving you."

What few pro-choice know or mention in their abortion apology in cases of rape is how much empowered a victim of rape can be when they find themselves protecting a new life, when they are the strong hero their unborn needs to survive and strive in life. After being made feel helpless and hopeless by your rapist(s), you are the safe shelter for this little human who was a victim right along with you. You've been accompanied by someone since you went through that nightmare.

When rape results in pregnancy there are two victims. When that pregnancy is terminated, there are still two victims, each of which is twice a victim: the mom, of rape and abortion; the baby, of rape and homicide.

[Acyutananda_yogamonk]

The last time I was asked that question, I said, "There is a lot to be said about this, it's a very serious matter, but first of all, could we make a deal – if I agree that abortion should be permitted in the case of rape, would you agree it should be illegal in all other cases?"

In this instance, it revealed the fact that the person was not trying to catch me, she was seriously concerned about rape victims. Nor was she intentionally testing my sensitivity – and if she had been, at least I wouldn't have conclusively failed the test. But she was not ready to make the deal.

So it brought the discussion quickly back to the main topic – I felt, without any negative side effects.

And in fact, I was completely serious about making the deal. Regardless of what I think the law should say in the case of rape, I'm an incrementalist, and if I could gain a 99% increment all at once, I wouldn't hesitate.

[smoaty]

This is one of the best videos I've ever seen on the subject. Thank you for making this. It will be a great help in future discussions.

[jmcconnell]

I have watched this again. Thank you. I do not believe we "win" this debate by not answering this question head-on. I agree with you.

[jmcconnell]

There is actually a question that I hate much more than this one. As a sidewalk counselor I have seconds of response time allowed me. I hear this one ALL the time: " Well have you adopted and fostered children? Because if you haven't, you have nothing to say about this". It isn't a fair or honest question. The person only intends to shut down conversation. And of course, even if I had adopted a million children, it wouldn't change their mind. So....thoughts on this one?

[zzevonplant]

And I'll usually call them out as far as the "fringe example thing" only if they have already said they would support any and all abortions for any reason anyway. Because to me, then they're just bringing it up to make me look like a monster. If they wouldn't ban all the other abortions if the ones in rape cases were allowed to continue, then it's really not worth discussing. But I also do still answer the question, basically the same way you just did. And which one of those two things I do first really depends on the context and the person I'm talking to and what I feel their motives are and things like that.

[ajikteddy]

I do hate my answers too because most pro-choicers uses the statement to justify their act being acceptable.

Thanks alot for the tips

[gebremenfeskidus]

I agree with all points. But I do think most of the time when "pro-choice" folks invoke rape or incest it is a disingenuous attempt to justify all abortions. But your key point is crucial: we should always err on the side of compassion. Compassion is precisely why we are Pro-Life. And abortion is never a compassionate solution to any problem.

[katrinamccracken]

This video was VERY helpful. it's just too bad I didn't see it until after my conversation with my boss on abortion. Now I can see all the mistakes I made. But still very helpful

[jacobrobbins]

Is there any way you guys could put some full discussions with pro-choicers on your website? I know it might be somewhat difficult (and I don't know your policies on confidentiality, etc.) but if the person agreed to it, I think it would helpful to see how full discussions are structured. I understand the individual arguments, but I would love to see how they all tie together when trying to change someone's mind on abortion. Great video, by the way!

[zzevonplant]

Basically a perfect explanation of how I feel about this too. I hate it too, I hate it *a lot* and I've been through rape and I can't imagine how I would have felt if I got gotten pregnant. But I just can't support killing the baby, even though I REALLY don't like the other option either. They're both pretty terrible options, and it's so hard, but I just can't support killing an innocent human that did nothing wrong.

[cathystevens]

There has to be a support system for these single women with the child in the face of financial and safety needs, living requirements. Protection for the child. Help with family and the men.

[mkosmala]

Thank you for your compassionate response.

[andrewcamden]

According to the New York Times, rape and incest account for less than 1% of abortions. Unless you are actually against the majority of abortions which are non-medically necessary elective abortions, drawing rape into the discussion is a deliberate distraction and if you feel need the need to rely on distraction, you already know that what you are doing is wrong.

[JhokiOK]

I have to say I am a rookie in this topic but what about post abortion syndrom and referring to fact that it is not clear which option is in fact better for woman - whether to go through the abortion or through the pregnancy and birth and maybe to argue why it is the second option...

[joyceadegboyega]

I understand no one likes to be the big talk about. I hate to answer about my rape when people go into the subject. People they wasn't rape but we was and most people where I live laugh about it. Why is it other people's business if I want to tell my story I will I would make a book and publish it but I never publish it and do I want people to know that's a choice.

[nickz]

One thing we should all learn to do is not automatically believe rape "victims". There has been way too many false rape accusations. People who are accused of rape should be treated innocent until proven guilty...something alot of you conveniently forget to do

[lauralinscott]

Here is my thoughts on the matter you are welcome to believe what you want to fine well enough however you do not have the right to inflict your beliefs on people who don’t believe the same as you