Redefining Self-Care for Therapists

Hi Friends! I wanted to share some off-the-cuff thoughts about how I think we can redefine self-care and improve how we approach it - especially as therapists.

I hope you don't mind my rambles, and maybe there's some helpful takeaways in here :)

No extended video on YouTube this week, but you can catch a longer version on Spotify for allllll the rambles if you'd like:

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Links Referenced:

Article: "The New Self-Care: It's Not All About You”

Article: "The intersection of psychologists' personal and professional lives”

LINKS
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This video is geared toward therapists of all kinds, including psychologists, MFTs, LPCCs, social workers, and others in the clinical counseling field.

Welcome to Private Practice Skills! I’m Dr. Marie Fang, psychologist in private practice. I post videos offering tools I learned the hard way about starting and growing private practice so that you don’t have to.

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This video is not intended as professional or legal advice. Be sure to seek the services of a professional if you are in need of them.

[stephieann]

Positive psychology has taken over self care and distorted it into bubble baths. I think self care if doing the right thing for you at that moment in time. If that is standing up to someone else and being filled with anxiety when you confront them its self care. If its deciding not to do the laundry because you are exhausted and need to sit down with a book or the TV its self care. If its pushing yourself to achieve work or academic roles that are hard but you are passionate about. Its self care. It is learning to feed our soul with the easy, pleasurable and difficult.

[felicial]

Thx for this Marie. totally agree self care it’s a mindset. And a life style. I focus a lot on foundational aspects sleep, diet, exercise. I feel when all those things are aligned that’s the ultimate self care which supports my overall well being.

[adebrown]

Yes this was very helpful! Sending love from Jamaica🇯🇲, one therapist to another

[dolphinswimmer]

I love this! I think the idea of "self-care" has become so cliche that it does, at times, do actual harm. I agree with all of the points that you made and I especially love that you addressed the idea that fulfilling responsibilities can actually be a form of self-care. I love getting lost in a TV show, but if I use that as "self-care" when I know that I really need to be accomplishing another task, it's really not self-care at all. I end up sitting there ruminating about what I should be doing instead of allowing myself to relax and then I'm still left with the task of what I needed to be doing, but now I just feel more behind and rushed. Sometimes feeling stress is a positive thing because it motivates us to do things that need to be done, especially when it may not be a favorite thing to do. I think society sometimes leads people to think that stress should always be avoided, which I don't think is true and just isn't reality. I think a much better form of self-care would be for me to complete the task, which then gives me a sense of self-Worth (I lived up to my word, I succeeded in meeting a deadline, I accomplished something that was hard for me, etc) and allows me to fully relax and truly enjoy the TV show when I do sit down to watch it that evening. I do think that it's important to engage in the things that we enjoy (watching TV, getting a massage, spending time with friends), but if we put those things ahead of other responsibilities, instead of it being self-care, it often ends up being another source of stress. Thank you for addressing what true self-Care is and taking it away from the cliche that it has become.

[christinemccullough]

Hey Marie! I’m listening! Thank you for this video. It gave me some things to think about. I started a therapy collaboration group at my agency and we met a few times but it’s been stalled because everyone is “so busy.” I think that is the reason that I need to encourage my colleagues to take one hour of each month because they are so busy. In the group we talk about therapy approaches or case reviews to collaborate with each other. Your video encouraged me to press forward and encourage my coworkers to take some time out. And I don’t mind your singing! I think you have a nice voice! Be gentle with yourself.

[meriamnjah]

Loved this! Thank you for sharing Marie. I so appreciate this fresh and nuanced perspective of self care. I’m all for getting on a higher horse because I wish more people talk about this. Lastly, on a personal note, this inspired me to really look myself in the eye and get down to what’s not working, and change that. I so love our field, and wouldn’t let it go, but the disconnect has become the norm, and that’s no longer working.

[Serenadion]

I really like this video. As you got a little bit further in, your thoughts got a little clearer. I think it's just that when you're not oversimplifying something, the runway is longer. I agree that self-care takes many unexpected forms and problem-solving is absolutely self-care. I empathized with your worry about coming off as "complaining". Of course we should be mindful of that. And yet I find that people often take things personally during times when someone is legit trying to give things more thought and problem-solve. To then be written off in those situations as complaining is both hurtful and also ensures the problem is not getting looked at - doubly unhelpful. Thank you for taking the time to speak from your heart. I didn't feel this came across as disorganized at all. ❤

[aliciabadashian]

It’s daily (many times a day) check ins with self. Being present, calming our nervous systems, prayer and meditation, movement it’s physical, cognitive and behavioral and it’s a mindset.
Finding time to tune in.
Connecting mind body soul
Daily checks ins (why do I feel this way)why and I yelling) …. Noticing
Changing negative patterns
Setting boundaries
Being present in the moment
Maintenance
Building Connections

I’m a mom burnout coach. I teach my clients to connect with themselves fully, and change their mindsets to then do the boundaries work. Inner work is always first.

[JewelPressedRecord]

Thanks Marie... another good one! One therapist to another, I thoroughly enjoy your content, particularly the unscripted videos.

[DrCandiceB]

I think if self-care as doing things that benefit you personally or fit with your values, but it's not work related or monetized. Self-care can be social or it can be doing things for others if that fits with your values. But you are doing something because you want to, or it benefits you, not because someone is asking or requiring it so you feel forced to do it. Chores are not self-care unless you think the chore benefits you. In self-care you feel empowered because you chose it for yourself and you are better off afterwards. With non-selfcare tasks you may feel used, overworked, or resentful after because you didn't want to do the task or it didn't benefit you directly.

[aliciabadashian]

The ultimate self care is incorporating mind, body, soul needs. Women, mothers specifically have big issues with this. We come last on the list of to do when we should be first to be able to adaquetly care for others.

[elfeoneeveeroboqueen]

I don't think the commodification of self-care has helped... But I generally don't think capitalism is helping human health and happiness so I'm biased! Community healing as resistance! =D

[glittereagle]

Sounds like self care from an integration stand point as well as future mindset of what you’re trying to create in your life?