My Untold Coming Out Story: Suicidal Thoughts

This is a story I've never fully told anyone before...but a story I'm ready to share. Although my external process of coming out to the world went rather smoothly without many complications or experiences of rejection, my internal struggle was much more than that. As I started to question my sexuality, I started to question myself and what I believed. I grew up thinking homosexuality was wrong, and so when I found myself being attracted to boys rather than girls, I took a downward spiral into depression and confusion. Luckily, even in the earliest days of my coming out experience, I was lucky enough to have people in my life who loved and supported me. Today, I look back on that time and am grateful for the life I live.

If you ever doubt yourself, always remember there is someone who loves you more than anything (Me).

Today Is a New Adventure my friends.
Let's Live.

Address for Letters and such:
50057 Ivy Drive
Aberdeen, MS 29730

Instagram/Snapchat: tayrobb57
Twitter: brother_robbins

[AdventuresofZachandB]

This'll end up helping someone, be proud bud.

[ivoknottnerus]

i m 75 yrs old, living in Amsterdam since many yrs.
i watched your story just now..did'nt see it before.
its an impressive story and i am glad that you did not hurt yourself..so you can tell it to the world.
i remember the days - long time ago - when i was 16 / 17 years old and discovered i was gay.
times were different . the whole world was different from what it is now.
like you i struggled a lot with myself, thought i was bisexual but at the end i thought it was time to come out.. that was about 1970.
i found a booklet with pictures of american boys more or less like you.. and i found out: i was not alone. not the only boy with thoughts abour other boys.
still..i questioned myself for 2-3 years if i was gay or not.
and...how to come out.
It was rough, not easy at all.. but i succeeded to survive and some day in the 70ths i told the world - just like you have done it now in this video - that i was gay.
i found a new kind of family with a lot of gay friends. my parents became supportive too.
so here i am now.. it all starts with telling to as many people as possible that you ( and i ) are gay.
which is just great !
thank you for your story.
i hope you will have a great life.
stay proud about who you are.
greetings from Holland
Ivo.

[scubawrestler]

If this video helps even one person, it is successful beyond measure. You are a hero, Taylor. God bless you.

[bandanajack]

the algorithms of youtube just popped you up in front of me, and no matter how old i get (remember, i grew up before there was an internet, or cell phones) i always pause to watch wedding videos and coming out videos. coming out, because i wish i had had the kind of support people can give each other now, and weddings because they are emblematic of all that i came out to achieve over 50 years ago.
you told your story really well, accessible, understanding, straightforward and suitably cautious. one thing you might have mentioned is financial stability. i don't recommend coming out fully until you know you can keep a roof over your head.

congratulations on making it through the crucible. being gay, is not for sissies...

[robertcox]

Hugs to all of you for sharing. At 54, I still on occasion get melancholy about my life. Coming out was not an option for some of us older folks until after high school, or not even then. I did not admit to my family until I was, I believe 22. Even now its never discussed. I hope you all don't think too badly about my intrusion, but this media is new to me. I'm a throwback from before computers and internet, at least I have been resistant to the tech. Off the grid so to speak for years.

This new era we're living in shows so much promise. Openness is more common than it used to be. wish I could have been part of the move. Praise to you all. L. RC.

[paulbarnett]

it's really stupid, if you think about it, to sit alone and talk to a camera, but videos like this change lives and may even save lives. I have a very similar story and sometimes the only people who understand are found on YouTube. People need to know they're not alone. Thanks for the encouragement!!

[jpfrlinguaphile]

I'm several years removed from these feelings, but hearing you talk about them with such poignancy reminded me of the importance of getting this message out. My hope is that all who are suffering over their identity will encounter this video and take you up on your offer. You are doing very important work. Thank you!

[ProFriend]

Well said. I've added this video to my Suicide and Self-harm playlist. I hope your words will save at least one life.

[haydent]

Hey man, this is exactly where I am at the moment. I'm a 22yr old male and having the exact same thoughts as you were. It's tough man. I just can't see the way out of this hole I'm in. It's been so long since I was happy, probably around 10 years. I am just so exhausted of trying to hide my true self

[stephenfermoyle]

this could never have happened years ago... it is a miracle that you can express yourself
Taylor please feel great about yourself and be with people who support you and are healthy inn body and soul

[kylenoe]

Damn incredible story to tell. I'm really fkin glad you overcame these obstacles. You bring light to this bleak world.

[jar]

I sometimes feel alone and unsure but watching videos like yours. Helps validate what I feel/think.

[WhiskersInc]

This was incredibly brave of you. Well done Taylor!

[Wrench]

I was my own worst enemy for a very long time.

[RicJames]

i love you taylor and im glad you're still with us. friends are the best thing in the world to pull us out of the worst situations

[CCGR-]

Thank you for sharing this, you are an incredible young man for being able to be that raw and honest, I am 60 years old and still struggle with thoughts of self harm that I really have never talked about with anyone. Thank you for sharing your struggle and allowing me to admit mine.

[sergiovargott]

This is so heartbreaking. Hope you're okay now :)

[JosephBarnowski]

Taylor,
I suffer with Depression too .. Suffered hughly from the FEAR and GUILT when I was Coming Out. I've been suicidal too. Your Mother is AMAZING !! Unlike Your Dad .
YOU are AWESOME !! NEVER forget THAT !! Your Promises to Your Friends and YOURDELF helped You through .. NEVER EVER Give Up, NEVER !! Your INSIGHTS and Your COMPASSION for Others is AWESOME ..just like Me You PROMISED that You would never turn Your back on ANYONE who needed to TALK ..BRAVO !!

I've just Discovered (6-23--2024) Your YouTube channel and I think You are VERY WISE 🦉 .. I KNOW You have done GREAT Things since You ACCEPTED YOURSELF and will continue to do so .. making The World a BETTER Place !!

BEST WISHES,
Matt

[chacaloso]

This was really hard to watch. I commend you for your courage and perseverance. God bless you.

[jasonkeithpolk]

what a powerful story. thank you for sharing this.