He's great but I'm just NOT ATTRACTED to him!

Want to explore working with me directly?

[thejackbutler]

Want to explore working with me directly?
- Book a 1:1 discovery call:

[janefaceinthewind]

Hi Jack, great video. I know from my own experience that one cannot force the spark. I tried to make it work with a guy who seemed to be perfect on paper, but there was just zero spark. I tried to force it and pretty much ended up gaslighting myself into believing it was my fault for being too picky. The truth is, it wasn't my fault, but I should have listened to my gut! People are often afraid of the spark, believing that it won't last and character is more important. This is not true at all!! Attraction, and I mean sexual attraction, is an absolute must if you don't want to be physically turned off and end up in a dead bedroom. That isn't fair to the person in question either.

[sensibilities]

We might have to say no to something so we can say yes to something later

[everydaytherapist]

Jack, good to see you back! I don't like the dating advice out there that suggests chemistry is unnecessary and based in trauma. Clients who downplayed attraction early on usually ended up regretting the commitment down the line. 
I agree that you want some minimum amount of sexual interest if you aren't asexual. It reminds me of the idea of, "If you have to ask..." If you're even wrestling with this problem then it's not a good sign. We shouldn't deny aspects of ourselves just to make something fit.

[BlairDevonte]

Excellent video in breaking down attraction and a companion vs. a friend. This is a topic that a lot of people don't discuss for fear of appearing superficial. I've found that a lot of times women are told that we are being superficial if there is a nice guy that is pursuing us but we don't feel the connection due to a lack of attraction. I've been in this situation a couple of times and what I've learned is that trusting yourself, as you mentioned is key! It can be tough to really be honest with yourself in dating, especially when it seems that options are limited. That fear has to be faced head on. I've seen some people lead another person on as a companion when they know that the other person sees it as more of a relationship and that is wrong. It's always best to be upfront. Thanks for your insight and God Bless!

[acd]

My mom wasn't attracted to my step dad (now her husband) at first but when he started providing what she needs (safety) she gave in and they eventually got married. It's been 11 years now.

Edit: It's a marriage of convenience though. They both need each other to survive financially.

[syytnkc]

🔆 Food for thought, as all your videos are, Jack! Many thanks, 💟🍀🌷☘️🌻💖💚💛🌿🦋

[taraelizabethlivinglife]

This information is really helpful to me. Thank you!

[joss]

this was super insightful and helpful, thanks a lot!:)

[chlariepeace]

Beautiful background Jack looks hot 🔥

[alyajewellery]

Yes! I thought he would be fine if we culturally had arranged marriages.

[Jasmin-gtlu]

The good things about coronavirus: those damn planes weren't constantly flying in the sky. Other than that, a good video and good points. 😄

[JohnM...]

You CLEARLY don't understand what the real definition of 'companion' is - it's NOT friendship. It's deeper than that. If I said to someone 'this is my COMPANION, Frank' their conclusion would be that I'm gay. Companion = not friend.
The hypothetical person you're describing as bringing groceries and fixing a car is called a SIMP.